Quantcast
Channel: Refinery29
Viewing all 20479 articles
Browse latest View live

This Peptide Moisturiser Is So Good, Our Editors Are Using It To The Last Drop

$
0
0
.disclaimer{width:90%;margin-bottom:1rem}.disclaimer__lines{width:100%;margin:0 auto;border-bottom:1px solid #999;padding:0;max-width:150px}.disclaimer__copy{width:100%;max-width:355px;font-family:Brown Regular,sans-serif;font-size:.9rem;font-weight:300;line-height:1.3em;color:#333;padding:0 0 .4rem;margin:1rem auto;text-align:center}
All linked products are independently selected by our editors. If you purchase any of these products, we may earn a commission.

Peptides are, without a doubt, the most talked-about skincare ingredient at the moment, racking up 2.6 million Google searches in the past month alone. These skin-strengthening proteins are popping up in everything from moisturisers to lip liners, thanks to their ability to improve skin elasticity and signal the brain to boost collagen production. Paula’s Choice is the latest brand to add to the hype with its newest launch, the Pro-Collagen Peptide Plumping Moisturiser, £49.

Known for its 2% BHA Liquid Exfoliant — a favourite in beauty editor circles — Paula’s Choice specialises in results-driven skincare. Its new moisturiser features a tri-peptide complex that claims to enhance the skin’s firmness and resilience, in addition to providing long-lasting hydration. Ahead, we put this fresh launch to the test, and share our honest thoughts on whether this lightweight product is worth your investment.

DashDividers_1_500x100

What are pro-collagen peptides and what are their skincare benefits?

Peptides are short chains of amino acids that act as messengers for your skin to stimulate collagen and elastin, which keeps your skin firm, smooth and hydrated. They also help strengthen the skin barrier, improve moisture retention and protect your skin against environmental damage.

Paula’s Choice’s new moisturiser brings together three types of pro-collagen peptides: hexapeptide-5, oligopeptide-1 and tridecapeptide-1. According to Dr Olha Vorodukhina, aesthetics trainer and founder of Angels Twelve Clinic, these refer to the number of amino acids in the chain (“hexapeptide” correlates six, for example).

Dr Magnus Lynch, Harley Street consultant dermatologist and surgeon, says “There has been some evidence that pro-collagen peptides may help to boost collagen synthesis and reinforce the skin’s protective barrier, [which] helps the skin retain moisture [even] more effectively, leading to improved hydration, elasticity and resilience.”

DashDividers_1_500x100

Paula’s Choice Pro-Collagen Peptide Plumping Moisturiser, £49

I’m personally elated to see a winter skincare launch that’s lightweight for a change. My combination-sensitive skin has been breaking out from all the rich, nourishing face oils and creams I’ve been slathering on all season. I’ve been eager to switch to a moisturiser that doesn’t overwhelm and clog my pores but still delivers all the hydration my skin desperately requires at this time of year. This one, with its gel-like texture, felt plumping and calming on my face right out of the gate.

Jacqueline Kilikita, Refinery29’s beauty director, is also a fan of the texture: “The consistency of this moisturiser — a lightweight gel cream that absorbs quickly — is perfect for my combination, acne-prone skin. It’s substantially hydrating and nixes that tight, uncomfortable feeling you get after cleansing almost immediately.”

Is the Paula’s Choice peptide moisturiser any good?

My skin barrier is typically quite vulnerable to cold and dry weather; I often have to top up my moisturiser throughout the day to quell that uncomfortable feeling of tightness and dehydration. This peptide one, however, leaves my skin hydrated for hours on end without feeling oily. Because of its fast-absorbing nature, I often forget that I’m wearing it; at the same time, my skin stays bouncy, plump and smooth all day — no reapplication required.

Paula’s Choice claims that this peptide moisturiser can provide hydration for up to 24 hours, and while I haven’t tested that for myself, I’m inclined to believe it. The moisturising qualities can be attributed to the peptide trio, each working overtime to promote water retention: Hexapeptide-5 binds moisture to the skin, while oligopeptide-1 signals your brain to produce more collagen and tridecapeptide-1 helps with plumping fine lines.

Kilikita has the perfect anecdote to back this up: “Since using it, I’m convinced that my forehead has become much smoother; the lines underneath my eyes have also filled out slightly,” she says. “At a blowdry recently, my hairstylist would not stop complimenting me on how illuminated and healthy my skin looked. As someone who’s sworn off Botox, this is a welcome surprise and proves that topical solutions can make a visible difference.”

Both of us find that this moisturiser creates a lovely, seamless base for makeup: I’ve been able to apply my foundation over it without any pilling and creasing, and my base makeup has a smoother, more naturally “airbrushed” look. This product also sits very nicely under sunscreen. In fact, sunscreen is a given when you’re using a peptide product. “While peptides are generally well tolerated, they work best in combination with sun protection, as UV exposure can break down collagen,” Dr Lynch says. The Paula’s Choice Resist Hydrating Fluid SPF 50, £33.15, is my go-to for dry weather.

The pump mechanism is also super convenient, since you can get the product out without dunking your fingers in (and polluting it with bacteria in the process). “While my bathroom shelf is overflowing with moisturisers, I’ve been using this one consistently — and I will do so right down to the last drop,” Kilikita says. I’m 100% right there with her.

Shop our favourite Paula’s Choice skincare

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

A Derm Told Me To Make These Skincare Resolutions

I Tried Every Clinique Black Honey Makeup Product

The Ordinary's New Serum Ended My Botox Obsession


The New Moon In Pisces Is An Invitation To Escape The Mundane

$
0
0

There was no bang at the start of 2025 but now we are beginning to bring excitement and joy into our lives. We’ll be up for releasing resentment and emotions in the weeks before the new moon in Pisces, but right now we are seeking heightened emotional states. The new moon on February 27 is an ideal day to ignite the spark within and watch it glow in the coming months.

New moons mark the beginning of the month-long lunar cycle so they have an air of freshness to them. Incentives are promised, ideas take hold and our fancies consume our lives. Even if we are lusting after things that are in our imagination, they could become as real and as perfect as anything else. Everything starts with inspiration. Be delulu now and it’ll pay off in the future. 

What makes this particular lunation stand out is that it is bringing prosperity our way. We have a lot of room to grow and swim any way we choose as we have all this space in which to develop. The new moon is the foundation of what’s to come. This is when we are planting the seeds or, in this case, diving deep into the ocean. And since this new moon urges us to escape the mundane, there is no looking back. 

On the day of the new moon, Mercury in Pisces harmonises with Uranus in Taurus. When Mercury and Uranus come together, they create an eccentric and electric bond. The rebelliousness of Uranus gives Mercury a rare chance to advance and change. This translates to us being allowed to march to the beat of our drum. We won’t be worried about other people’s thoughts; we will only be worried about what we choose to do. Uranus is supplying us the courage and incentive to evolve and grow, while Mercury is lending us the capacity and energy to do so. Our mission is to embrace the most authentic versions of ourselves and our objectives. 

The planetary ruler of Pisces is Jupiter. Currently, Jupiter is in the air sign Gemini. When they come together, a square aspect forms (this happens when the signs are 90 degrees apart). In astrology, a square aspect means that action is taking place and further things are percolating. This aspect makes the new moon a fun and wonderful time that motivates us to gamble on ourselves rather than others. 

With Mercury and Jupiter in mutual reception (an astrological aspect when two planets are in the sign of the other’s rulership, crafting a dynamic relationship between them), we can express ourselves as bigger, louder and better than before. Jupiter aims to expand the communication Mercury is speaking, allowing us to fully comprehend the scope of our fantasies, passions and needs. If we are unsure or unable to grasp what we want, the planets will do their best to help us understand and attain perspective. Conversely, we’ll be able to hear what others are saying so we’ll know whether we should pursue matters. 

The caveat is that we may allow our fears to get the better of us. Since the light of the moon is invisible, we might have insecurities or question our goals. If they seem out of reach or unobtainable, we can still attain them but we must work harder to achieve our hopes and aspirations. If we keep moving toward the endgame and striving for greatness, our intentions can manifest and become reality. To defeat the limiting voices in our heads, we must consider whether success or love scares us and how we can navigate the challenges to bring our desires into our lives. We are stronger, wiser and more agile than we know.

The new moon in Pisces is a magical and fortunate time to lean into our visions. With the lunar energy urging us to embrace our creative minds and romantic hearts (among other sentiments), we will let the cosmos inspire us to move toward greatness and transcend with the flow of the universe. Have faith and believe in what can happen. Nothing is standing in our way! This is a moment when anything and everything seems possible and attainable — because it is. So reach for the stars and dream big. Don’t allow doubt to hold you back. The sky’s the limit! 

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

The Full Moon In Leo Is Bringing All The Drama

The New Moon In Aquarius Will Be Messy But Amazing

The First Full Moon Of 2025 Is Here

7 Skincare Products Experts Ditch Before Spring (& What They Use Instead)

$
0
0
.disclaimer{width:90%;margin-bottom:1rem}.disclaimer__lines{width:100%;margin:0 auto;border-bottom:1px solid #999;padding:0;max-width:150px}.disclaimer__copy{width:100%;max-width:355px;font-family:Brown Regular,sans-serif;font-size:.9rem;font-weight:300;line-height:1.3em;color:#333;padding:0 0 .4rem;margin:1rem auto;text-align:center}
All linked products are independently selected by our editors. If you purchase any of these products, we may earn a commission.

Along with the gloomy weather, the transitional period between winter and early spring brings forth myriad skincare challenges. Think dry skin, dullness, and chapped lips, to name a few. Some products just don’t cut it in when the air is cold and dry, as they are either not hydrating enough or too harsh on already-compromised skin.

I speak to dermatologists and beauty experts for a living, and one piece of advice I hear time and again is to make subtle tweaks to your skincare routines around different times of year to adapt to your skin’s changing needs. So which products are they phasing out for the season, and which ones are they using instead? I’ve made it my mission to find out.

Ahead, I spoke to a handful of dermatologists and skincare experts to find out the formulas they tend to sideline between winter and spring — and more importantly, the replacements they are bringing back into the fold. From swapping out foaming cleansers for gentler alternatives to ditching certain ingredients in favour of others, their recommendations will help keep your skin watered, balanced and glowing through February and beyond.

The following quotes have been edited for clarity and length.

DashDividers_1_500x100

Skip: Your foaming cleanser

Use instead: Uriage Xémose Cleansing Oil, £10.99

“I tend to skip foaming cleansers because they often contain harsher surfactants that can strip the skin of its natural oils — and the colder weather already dries out my skin. During the winter and months leading up to spring, the skin needs extra hydration and protection so I prefer to use more hydrating, gentle cleansers that help maintain my skin’s barrier. Consider an oil-based option like the Uriage Xémose Cleansing Oil, £10.99. Oil-based cleansers help remove impurities and maintain the skin’s moisture barrier while being gentle — without stripping essential oils, which is crucial during harsher winter months. Additionally, their nourishing properties help keep my skin soft and hydrated.”Dr Derrick Phillips, consultant dermatologist

Shop our favourite cleansing oils

DashDividers_1_500x100

Skip: Your face oil

Use instead: Chanel No. 1 De Chanel Revitalizing Serum, £128

“I’ve invested more time in my gua sha routine during the colder months, as it noticeably improves my skin’s firmness. While I used to rely on sunflower seed oil for its emollient benefits, my skin has become more sensitive, leading to breakouts. I’ve since moved on to the No. 1 De Chanel Revitalizing Serum, £128. Its lightweight formula — packed with moisturising glycerin — lends enough slip for my gua sha tool without tugging and dragging at my skin, or clogging my pores. The star ingredient is red camellia extract, an antioxidant that boosts the skin’s radiance and firmness. I pair it with the No. 1 De Chanel Massage Accessory, £55, a tool that boasts 85% bio-based materials and features a ridged side for gentle exfoliation. Together, they keep my skin glowy and plump. When I finish the routine with a dose of No. 1 De Chanel Red Camellia Cream, £98, my hydration levels are even more enhanced.” — Venus Wong, Refinery29 senior writer

Shop our favourite serums

DashDividers_1_500x100

Skip: Your exfoliating scrub

Use instead: SkinCeuticals Triple Lipid Restore Moisturiser, £150

“The colder weather makes skin dry, and abrasive scrubs with rough, physical exfoliants can irritate or strip away too much of the skin’s natural oils. Instead, look for [milder cleansers] with hydrating ingredients like glycerin, aloe, or ceramides. These ingredients help maintain moisture balance while still effectively cleansing. I’ve found that [such] cleansers leave skin feeling soft, fresh and nourished, without the dry, tight sensation that harsher exfoliants can cause.

“This is [also] a time when skin needs extra hydration and protection. [Besides a mild cleanser] I’d recommend a richer, cream-based moisturiser to keep skin hydrated and prevent moisture loss. One of my top picks is SkinCeuticals Triple Lipid Restore, £150. Not only is it hydrating, but it also helps replenish the skin’s natural lipids, which are often depleted in colder weather. It’s rich without being too heavy or greasy, leaving the skin feeling soft and nourished.” — Dr Edel Woods, consultant dermatologist and founder of ORA Skin Clinic

Shop our favourite rich moisturisers

DashDividers_1_500x100

Skip: Your lightweight body lotion

Use instead: La Roche-Posay Lipikar Baume AP+M, £25

“I tend to skip lightweight body lotions in the colder months, as the formulation feels too light. My legs get particularly dry and wearing tights worsens this. I replace my body lotion with La Roche-Posay Lipikar Baume AP+M, £25. I don’t like anything that feels too heavy or sticky, and this one still melts into my skin, which feels better hydrated. It combines humectants (like glycerin, which draws in moisture), with emollients (such as shea butter) to soften the skin. There are also prebiotics to balance the microbiome of the skin barrier [the outermost layer of skin] so that it hydrates my body effectively.” Dr Ellie Rashid, consultant dermatologist and pro medical director of Klira

Shop our favourite moisturising body balms

DashDividers_1_500x100

Skip: Your lip balm

Use instead: The Ordinary 7% Glycolic Acid Exfoliating Toner, £7.70

“My lips always bear the brunt of the changing weather. You might instinctively reach for lip balm, but I need something a little stronger to tackle flaky skin — otherwise, I’ll end up picking at it. Enter: glycolic acid. This potent alpha hydroxy acid (AHA) is an excellent exfoliator, effortlessly sweeping away dry, peeling skin. I recently had the chance to try dermatologist Dr. Idriss’ Barrier Baste Lip Peel, which harnesses the power of glycolic acid.

“Unfortunately, it’s not yet available in the UK, but I’ve found an effective alternative. In the past, I’ve used The Ordinary 7% Glycolic Acid Exfoliating Toner, £7.70, on a cotton swab, followed by a rich moisturiser — something substantial like La Roche-Posay Cicaplast Baume B5, £10.90, — and the results have been impressive. Dr Idriss calls this method “lip basting”, and it’s a simple yet game-changing way to step up your lip care routine during transitional weather.” — Jacqueline Kilikita, Refinery29 beauty director

Shop our favourite glycolic acid treatments

DashDividers_1_500x100

Skip: Your sulphate face wash

Use instead: Avène Tolerance Control Extremely Gentle Cleanser, £15.95

“Foaming cleansers, especially those with sulphates like sodium lauryl sulfate (SLS), can be too harsh in the colder months. While they effectively remove oil and debris, they also strip away essential lipids, leaving the skin dry, tight and more prone to irritation — especially when the skin barrier is already compromised. For my patients with more sensitive skin types, I recommend the Avène Tolerance Control Extremely Gentle Cleanser, £15.95. This ultra-mild, creamy cleanser is soap-free, fragrance-free and formulated with minimal ingredients to support the skin’s natural barrier. It relies on Avène’s signature thermal spring water and a milky, lotion-like texture to cleanse without disrupting hydration. It’s perfect for winter and early spring, especially for dry, sensitive or reactive skin.” Dr Ashley Magovern, consultant dermatologist and Dermstore medical advisory board member

Alternatively, use: iS Clinical Cleansing Complex, £48

“I recommend the iS Clinical Cleansing Complex, £48, to patients with oily or acne-prone skin. This gel-based cleanser is gentle but deeply cleans the skin without disrupting its natural moisture balance. It contains antioxidants and mild resurfacing ingredients, such as white willow bark (a natural form of salicylic acid), which help with congestion without overdrying. This cleanser works well for all skin types, including sensitive skin.” Dr Ashley Magovern, consultant dermatologist and Dermstore medical advisory board member

Shop our favourite gentle cleansers

DashDividers_1_500x100

Skip: Your petroleum jelly ointment

Use instead: A hand cream with ceramides and urea, like Eucerin Urea Repair Plus 5% Hand Cream, £8.48

“I wouldn’t recommend applying just petroleum jelly on the hands, since it’s an occlusive [an ingredient that forms a protective layer on the skin but isn’t particularly moisturising when used on its own]. If your hands are very dry, you ideally need to have a moisturiser with ceramides to hydrate the skin from within. [Ceramides are lipids, or fat molecules, that make up your skin’s natural barrier and help retain moisture, keeping the skin smooth, plump and hydrated.] I’d also suggest looking for a hand cream with urea, which helps remove the dead skin cell build-up and further draws water into the skin for hydration.”Dr Zainab Laftah, consultant dermatologist & British Skin Foundation spokesperson

Based on Dr Laftah’s advice, we recommend trying Eucerin Urea Repair Plus 5% Hand Cream, £8.48. It’s rich in both urea and ceramides and is adored for its ability to alleviate cracks and flakiness on the hands, especially for people with contact dermatitis. If you really want to lock that moisture in, that’s when sealing your hand cream with a top layer of a petroleum jelly product, like Vaseline, can come in: This technique is also known as ‘hand slugging’.

Shop our favourite hand creams

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

The Ordinary's New Serum Ended My Botox Obsession

I Tried Every Clinique Black Honey Makeup Product

I Tried £137 Worth Of Hand Creams To Find The Best

Upgrade Your Spring Wardrobe With These Fresh Denim Dresses

$
0
0
Denim dresses are often dismissed as basic, but the latest versions popping up in new arrivals sections at retailers everywhere are proving they can be so much more. No longer limited to the same old mini apron styles, jean dresses are now a fashionable spring essential, reworked with thoughtful detailing and elevated silhouettes. 

These dresses are as versatile as they are adorable: Whether you're drawn to utilitarian long-sleeve designs or a waist-cinching wrap silhouette, there’s a denim style for every occasion. The styling possibilities are endless, too — from layering a cute cardigan over a sleeveless mini to pairing a figure-skimming midi with knee-high boots and a faux fur jacket. Shop our favourites for spring ahead.

At Refinery29, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team. If you buy something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.

Everlane The Denim Shirtdress


The oversized fit of this button-down silhouette is too good.

Everlane The Denim Shirtdress, $, available at Everlane

& Other Stories Denim Mini Dress


We love a twist on the classic shirt dress. With corset-like darting and a tailored waist, this mini is a total stunner.

& Other Stories Denim Mini Dress, $, available at & Other Stories

Good American Denim Midi Dress


Panelled seaming and a curve-contouring fit make this midi a standout. Bonus: It goes up to size 5X.

Good American Denim Midi Dress, $, available at Good American

COS Denim Half-Zip Dress


The zippered neckline on this one is *chef’s kiss*.

COS Denim Half-Zip Dress, $, available at COS

Universal Standard Dakota Denim Dress


This dress looks like coordinates but with the ease of a one-and-done.

Universal Standard Dakota Denim Dress, $, available at Universal Standard

Free People Harlow Mini Dress


Crisp and creamy, this is a springtime dream that will look equally good with flats as loafers.

Free People Harlow Mini Dress, $, available at Free People

Ganni Blue Denim Dress


Behold: the denim maxi dress of your dreams.

Ganni Blue Denim Dress, $, available at Shopbop

H&M Denim Dress With Collar


This mini serves '70s glamour with a side of modern ease.


H&M Collared Denim Dress, $, available at H&M

Sézane Raquel Dress


Envision yourself strolling the weekend farmer's market with a large basket in the crook of one elbow and a baguette in the other.


Sézane Raquel Dress, $, available at Sézane

Mango Denim Wrap Dress


Between the inky blue denim and sleek minimalist lines, this wrap dress feels fresh and polished.

Mango Denim Wrap Dress, $, available at Mango

Closed Long Sleeve Denim Midi Shirtdress


We’re so here for the bright blue wash and contrast stitching on this midi shirt dress.

Closed Denim Shirt Midi Dress, $, available at Farfetch

Abercrombie & Fitch Mara High-Neck Vest Mini Dress


This mini is especially great with tall boots for a modern take on Western-inspired style. The button-up design makes for endless styling possibilities.

Abercrombie and Fitch Mara High-Neck Vest Mini Dress, $, available at Abercrombie and Fitch

Damson Madder Goldie Dress


You never knew you needed a leopard-print denim dress — until now that is.

Damson Madder Goldie Dress, $, available at Damson Madder

Zara Gold Appliqué Midi Denim Dress


Who knew a denim dress could be this sharp? Sculptural gold hardware and a sleek, structured fit make this one undeniably polished.

Zara Z1975 Gold Appliqué Denim Midi Dress, $, available at Zara

Gap Barrel-Sleeve Denim Mini Dress


From the voluminous sleeves to the V-neckline, this mini's appeal is in the details.

Gap Barrel-Sleeve Denim Mini Shirt Dress, $, available at Gap

Madewell x Alexa Chung Denim Tank Midi Dress


So ladylike, so streamlined — perfection.


Madewell x Alexa Chung Denim Tank Midi Dress, $, available at Madewell

Aligne Effy Tie Front Denim Dress


The sweet bow ties perfectly juxtapose the sleek, minimal lines.

Aligne Effy Tie Front Denim Dress, $, available at Aligne

Pistola Amira Midi Dress


A dark-wash denim shirt dress that moves seamlessly from workweek to weekend.

Pistola Amira Midi Dress, $, available at Pistola

Next Long Sleeve Seam Detail Denim Dress

Princess seams create a shape-enhancing fit, proving that a mini dress can be both structured and effortless.

Next Long Sleeve Seam Detail Denim Dress, $, available at Next

Exquise The Tobie Button-Front Pleated Shirt Dress: Denim Edition


This midi is proof that denim dresses are perfectly smart for the office.

Exquise The Tobie Button-Front Pleated Shirt Dress, $, available at Anthropologie

Tanya Taylor Felicity Dress


The seam detailing is everything on this style — so beyond gorgeous.

Tanya Taylor Felicity Dress, $, available at Tanya Taylor

Silence + Noise Lilith Denim Cutout Shift Dress


A denim dress for a night out? This is the one — bold back cut-out included.

Silence + Noise Lilith Denim Cutout Shift Dress, $, available at Urban Outfitters

Simply Be x Twisted Wunder Mid Wash Patchwork Denim Maxi Dress


This patchwork style brings a bit of variety to your wardrobe — perfect for everyday wear.

Simply Be x Twisted Wunder Mid Wash Patchwork Denim Maxi Dress, $, available at Simply Be

ASOS Denim Mini Puff Sleeve Smock Dress


A prim puff sleeve? Don't mind if we do.

ASOS DESIGN Denim Mini Puff Sleeve Smock Dress, $, available at ASOS

Alex Mill Marissa Shirtdress


Get your Western thrills by pairing this mini with cowboy boots, or keep it modern minimalist with leather flats or mules.

Alex Mill Marissa Shirtdress in Light Weight Denim, $, available at Alex Mill

Banana Republic Dark Wash UltraSoft Denim Maxi Dress

A zipper-front dress redefined for comfort? Sign us up.

Banana Republic Dark Wash Blue UltraSoft Denim Maxi Dress, $, available at Gap

Reformation Kendi Denim Midi Dress


Minimal and sleek, this column midi delivers denim with polish — belt it for definition or keep it streamlined for a more relaxed look.


Reformation Kendi Denim Midi Dress, $, available at Reformation

Frame The Nipped Dress


The ultimate silhouette for snatching the waist — in the most elevated way.

For more can't-miss shopping stories delivered straight to your inbox, sign up for our Most Wanted newsletter.

Frame The Nipped Dress, $, available at Frame

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Fashion Must-Haves Editors Are Wearing For Winter

Spring Wedding Guest Dresses For Every Dress Code

How Editors Style Never Fully Dressed's Mesh Dress

These Were The Most Standout Trends From London Fashion Week

$
0
0

Following New York, on the second stop of the Fashion Month tour, designers took to the venues of London to showcase their autumn/winter 2025 offerings. Bookended by Harris Reed and Burberry (which both took place at Tate Britain), London Fashion Week saw a whole spectrum of aesthetics, ranging from ladylike — at brands like Emilia Wickstead, who was inspired by Alfred Hitchcock’s 1963 classic The Birds, and Richard Quinn, where models modelled exquisite gowns as snow cascaded down them — to punk-cool — at Dilara Findikoglu and Sinead Gorey, who took over a club venue and an underground parking lot, respectively, to present their cooler-than-cool collections.

While London’s most established designers like Simone Rocha always deliver a standout show (this season saw Alexa Chung, Bel Powley, Fiona Shaw, and Andrea Riseborough walking the catwalk!), the city’s NewGen (emerging fashion talent) designers were not be missed, either. Following this year’s LVMH Prize nominations, Sinead O’Dwyer once again enlisted the most inclusive lineup of models seen all season while Tolu Coker brought attendees inside the brand’s atelier using an immersive studio presentation format in lieu of a catwalk.

With over 50 catwalk shows and presentations on the official British Fashion Council schedule, there were plenty of looks to note. We parsed through them all to present the standouts. Ahead, the trends that will be everywhere come autumn, according to London Fashion Week.

London Fashion Week Autumn/Winter 2025 Trend: Nostalgic Pants

Retro-leaning pant silhouettes were all over the autumn/winter 2025 catwalks — re-imagined in more elegant ways than those from our youth. S.S.Daley (one of the season’s highlight collections!) doubled down on the popularity of the capri pants, with minimal over-the-knee pairs (seen on both women and men) worn with outerwear. (Conner Ives and Keburia showed more cutesy frilly and ruffle-adorned styles.) The brand also made a case for Bermuda shorts that look fit for the workplace, a style that was also seen at Mithridate where they were matched with collared shirts and shirts. The trifecta was established when the most elegant version of stirrups appeared at Toga where they were shown worn over sheer tights and bow-adorned flats.

London Fashion Week Autumn/Winter 2025 Trend: Corpcore

Call it the Severance effect, but officewear silhouettes marked this season, with several designers showing tailored suits, tuxedo-inspired detailing, and accessories like ties. While there were plenty of literal workwear designs, we loved the more rebellious takes on dress codes. Shown at the TB Tower, “a space synonymous with communication and hyper-connectivity,” SRVC’s collection looked at “how we navigate a world that constantly demands too much,” the show notes read: “Menswear tropes are once again dismantled and reconstructed into something entirely new.” This translated to office sirens walking in knits with cut-outs, slashed shirting, and slacks that had boxers peeking over the waistline, proving that business will not be as usual come autumn — and that’s a good thing.

London Fashion Week Autumn/Winter 2025 Trend: Pastels

While the catwalks saw plenty of crimson reds, moody greys, and chocolate browns, the appearance of Easter-approved pastels like pink, blues, greens, and yellows added a touch of unexpected lightness to the usual gamut of autumn-appropriate shades. Inspired by The Birds actor Tippi Hedren, Emilia Wickstead showed a matching set, complete with a pillbox hat, in a shade of green that referenced Hedren’s character in the film. Meanwhile, Richard Quinn sent out yellow frocks that looked made for Bridgerton in an indoor London winter wonderland set that the hit Netflix show should consider borrowing for their next season, and Erdem commissioned artist Kaye Donachie to adorn its feminine dresses with aura-like portraits of women. 

London Fashion Week Autumn/Winter 2025 Trend: Statement Skirts

The reign of the bubble skirt will continue, if we are to believe the London designers. The frilly silhouette, last popular in the 2010s before its recent resurgence, got a dramatic couture update at the hands of Harris Reed with a larger-than-life asymmetrical ballgown skirt. S.S.Daley also presented a more-is-more approach, with equally voluminous midi versions of the silhouette that wouldn’t look out of place on a red carpet. On the other end of the hemline spectrum, Toga and Keburia showed architectural minis, and Sinead O’Dwyer and Chopova Lowena (who didn’t host a catwalk show this season but presented a lookbook instead) offered more wearable versions of the look.

London Fashion Week Autumn/Winter 2025 Trend: Brooches

Following in the footsteps of the catwalks of New York, London’s accessory of the moment was a brooch. The retro ornament, which ranged from florals and bows to more surrealist motifs, added a touch of whimsy to plenty of outerwear and monochrome looks. For those who don’t love the idea of an additional accessory, many designers showed shirting with embellished and graphic designs, numerals, and insignias on the chest for a slightly younger take on the grandmother-chic look.

London Fashion Week Autumn/Winter 2025 Trend: Buckles Galore

Simone Rocha AW25 Catwalk Show London Fashion Week Credit: Ben Broomfield Credit Social: @photobenphoto Copyright: Ben Broomfield Photography 07734 852620 photo@benbroomfield.com www.benbroomfield.com

Buckles were a major theme at London Fashion Week. They appeared in the form of traditional belts wrapped around the waist or embellishing leather jackets — but also adorned handbags and made up one covetable harness at Simone Rocha. Buckle detailing also added edge to pant legs at SRVC and held together a strapless dress that conjured the costumes of Clueless at Sinead Gorey.

London Fashion Week Autumn/Winter 2025 Trend: Double Bottoms

If you don’t believe that the 2010s are back, look no further than the last few seasons that saw the resurgence of the pants-over-skirts look. While this hybrid remained popular this season, you would think you were seeing double at Jawara Alleyne and Charlie Constantinou, who showed shirts and pants layered over… more pants, and Bora Aksu and Toga, who sent out models wearing two tiers of skirts.

London Fashion Week Autumn/Winter 2025 Trend: Undergarments

180 Strand, London, 22nd February 2025. A model walks in the Sinead O’Dwyer Catwalk show. ©Chris Yates/ Chris Yates Media

Undergarments got a chance at the spotlight at the autumn/winter showcases. While the boxer shorts trend and bras-as-tops look were plenty prevalent (as in seasons past), the more unexpected look came via hosiery. Sinead O’Dwyer’s perforated stockings (held together by a visible garter belt) complemented the short looks shown on the catwalk, DiPetsa’s intricate lace-detailed stockings sweetly contrasted the sexiness of the collection, and patterned tights were as statement-making as the bra-and-coat look that they were paired with at Sinead Gorey, whose collection was inspired by “a way of dressing that only surfaces during the wee hours — a time when the club has closed, the sun is rising and the first train back awaits.”

London Fashion Week Autumn/Winter 2025 Trend: Lacing

Delicate strands of fabric and ties added beautiful detailing to the catwalks of London. Bow-adorned arm wraps provided an ultra-feminine alternative to the popular opera gloves look at Pauline Dujancourt, silky red ribbon beautifully contrasted a midi black dress at Simone Rocha that will be on my must-buy list in the autumn, and front lacing shoes — created in collaboration with Grounds and nodding to traditional Irish dancing — completed the looks at Sinead O’ Dwyer. Meanwhile, lacing in the form of corsetry added a sweet touch to shirting at Tolu Coker and a tough edge to the tied-up looks at Dilara Findikoglu.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

My Hair Never Held A Style — Until I Discovered These Two Products

$
0
0
.disclaimer{width:90%;margin-bottom:1rem}.disclaimer__lines{width:100%;margin:0 auto;border-bottom:1px solid #999;padding:0;max-width:150px}.disclaimer__copy{width:100%;max-width:355px;font-family:Brown Regular,sans-serif;font-size:.9rem;font-weight:300;line-height:1.3em;color:#333;padding:0 0 .4rem;margin:1rem auto;text-align:center}
All linked products are independently selected by our editors. If you purchase any of these products, we may earn a commission.

Super Sale Alert: Get 20% off Typebea using our exclusive promo code Refinery29TYPEBEA, now until 18th May.

Forget hair tools for a moment. A top hairstylist once told me that your hairstyle is only as good as the products you use, and after testing hundreds of serums, air-dry creams and blowdry sprays over the years, I have to agree — none of them are created equal.

Some provide heat protection, while others impart shine, yet they all seem to fall short when it comes to holding my waves or curls in place. No matter how much time I spend perfecting soft, effortlessly tousled bends with my straighteners, they tend to come loose after just a few hours.

But if any brand is going to persuade me to give styling my hair another shot, it’s Typebea. If you’re a Refinery29 regular, you might have seen me wax lyrical about its hair growth products, specifically the Overnight Boosting Peptide Serum and the Strength and Length Shampoo and Conditioner, which I’m convinced make my hair grow faster than I ever thought possible. 

This month, the brand has expanded its hair care repertoire with two new styling products: the Ultimate Styling Serum, £23, and the Sea Salt Texture Mist, £23. As a big fan of the brand, I couldn’t resist putting them through their paces — and I think I might’ve found my new styling essentials.

Typebea Ultimate Styling Serum, £23

First up, the Ultimate Styling Serum. The brand describes this as an “all-in-one” serum thanks to the star ingredient — plant-based keratin — which shields hair against drying, colour-zapping UV rays and heat from styling tools up to 230°C. Not only does it claim to reduce frizz by 29% after one application, but it promises faster drying time (a selling point considering I’m impatient — and I have a lot of hair). 

The texture is a lightweight cream, rather than a typical serum, which is usually more watery, but I pull two pumps through towel-dried hair and it absorbs into my mid-lengths and ends instantly without leaving behind a single trace of residue on my hands. Impressively, I’ve found that it does help speed up drying time. Blow-drying my hair (using a paddle brush to smooth things out) would typically take over 15 minutes, but I timed myself on the first go — and got the job done in nine. 

Is Typebea’s Ultimate Styling Serum any good?

The result was softer, smoother, and shinier hair — no greasy or stringy strands, which often occur when I guess or misjudge the amount of a new product. In fact, the sleek finish made light work of styling my hair later. I like to create waves using my straighteners, and the plates glide through my lengths with ease, never snagging on my drier ends. Actually, I’m convinced that this serum minimises the appearance of split ends (helpful considering I haven’t had a haircut since last summer). I can use my hairdryer and straighteners safely in the knowledge that my hair is protected and doesn’t need an additional veil of sticky heat protector spray. 

The real test came during London Fashion Week, which coincided with the warmest and wettest weekend of the year so far. Would my waves hold up? I got my answer from one of the industry’s top hairstylists, who interrupted our backstage interview to compliment my perfect balance of tousled waves — not too ‘done,’ just right. I’d styled my hair at 10 a.m., and by 8 p.m., it still looked good. It works wonders on my thick, wavy hair, but the brand claims that it’s suitable for every hair type.

Typebea Sea Salt Texture Mist, £23

Next, the Sea Salt Texture Mist, which is also suitable for all hair types. This offers heat protection up to 230°C, too, but unlike other texture mists that can leave hair feeling like straw, its plant-based keratin and ethylhexylglycerin — derived from glycerin and used as a conditioner — ensure your hair stays soft. Instead, it provides hold, not crunch. Think of how your hair looks better a day or two after washing; this mist encapsulates that in a bottle.

Is Typebea’s Sea Salt Texture Mist any good?

Even hairstylists are sold on the benefits of texture mists. Recently, during a salon blowdry, my stylist chose to prep my damp lengths with a texture mist over a cream or serum. When I asked why, he explained that, like Typebea’s, many now offer heat protection. A texture mist would also enhance my wavy hair by adding volume and structure without weighing it down. If I know I’ll be out all day and I really want my hair to last, I’ll spritz in the mist from root to tip, rough-dry my hair and then style it. The result? Mega hold. 

Although I haven’t tried air-drying my hair yet (it’s still too cold for that!), I use this mist to refresh my second- and third-day hair. When I don’t have time to style, I spritz it onto dry hair, scrunch, and go. It adds shape and volume, and I know my strands appreciate the break from heat. It’s also worth highlighting the advanced spray nozzle, which distributes a delicate and even plume of product over my hair.

You can buy both products separately for £23 each or together as part of the Effortless Styling Kit, which is a little cheaper at £41.40. While the Ultimate Styling Serum has become my go-to most days, I have no doubt the Sea Salt Texture Mist will become a staple in my summer hair care routine, too. 

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

This £9 Shampoo Gave Me The Dreamiest “Glass Hair”

I Thought Hair Growth Products A Scam Until These

Why Does My Hair Look Oily Right After I Wash It?

Money Diary: A Financial Advisor In Glasgow On £50,000

$
0
0
Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last penny.

This week: "I’m a 34-year-old, living in Glasgow with my husband and our dog.  
We are child-free by choice, although we are definitely at that age where almost everyone around us seems to be having kids and that inevitably leads to the question being posed to us around when we’ll have some of our own. Motherhood has personally never appealed to me, and from a financial perspective I’d much rather spend my money on myself! We bought our current house four years ago, having owned a flat for seven years prior to that. We made a good return on our flat, which ultimately allowed us to buy the home we are in now. I feel really fortunate to be on the property ladder and living in what I consider to be our forever home, but equally I know we have both worked really hard to achieve this independently. For work, I’m based in finance and have worked in this industry for the last 15 years. It can be fast paced and at times cutthroat. I decided to take a step back in my career last year after falling seriously ill for a period. My illness changed my whole approach to life and I now just want an easy life being paid as much as I can for doing as little work as possible!"

Occupation: Financial advisor
Industry: Wealth management
Age: 34 
Location: Glasgow
Salary: £50,000
Paycheque Amount: Net take home £3,000 after tax, NIC, pension contributions and charity donation.
Number of housemates: One (my husband, P)
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses

Housing costs: £595 (for my share).
Loan payments: I have an interest free credit card which currently has a balance of around £2,000 on it. I generally pay around £50-100 per month to it depending on what else I have on that month. No other debts, other than outstanding mortgage.
Savings?: I have approximately £25k in cash savings (which includes a cash ISA, general saver and regular saver). My investments are approximately £40,000. This is a mix of S&S ISA, LISA and some private equity I hold in unlisted companies.
Pension? I have a workplace pension, valued at around £90,000. I pay 5% in and my employer pays 10%.
Utilities: £72 gas and electric, £110 council tax (which includes water bill in Scotland), £25 home phone/internet. I split all bills with my husband, so these figures (and the mortgage) reflect my share.
All other monthly payments: £25 mobile, £140 dog costs (this includes his dog food, two weekly dogwalker fees, dog groom every eight weeks and pet insurance).
Subscriptions: £30 gym membership, £24 contact lens subscription, £7 Monzo Perks. I also have an annual membership for a yoga and Pilates studio, which is £850 per annum.

Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
I went onto university to study a Social Science degree. In Scotland, we are fortunate enough to benefit from free tuition fees.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money?
Both of my parents came from fairly poor backgrounds and have spent much of their lives worrying about money, living frugally and desperately trying to avoid debt. They are now what I would consider to be very comfortable financially, but they continue to live a modest life and struggle to allow themselves to spend money or splurge.
This is not something that I have a problem doing(!!), but I do live by the hard rule of 'if I can’t afford it, I don’t buy it'.

If you have, when did you move out of your parents/guardians house?
22.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself? Does anyone else cover any aspects of your financial life?
At 22, when I moved out. I rented my first flat in Glasgow city centre and lived here for around 18 months, before buying a place together with my husband. I was really proud to get on the property ladder at just 24 and to do it without any financial backing from family. 

What was your first job and why did you get it?
I got my first job at 15, working as a waitress in a local hotel and restaurant near where I grew up. My first post-university job was working in a bank call centre. I studied for and completed my financial adviser exams while working in this role, and it ultimately acted as an entry point to getting promoted into my first financial advice role.

Do you worry about money now?
Not particularly — I feel that I am reasonably paid and my husband has a very generous salary of his own, so I know that I could be supported by him should anything ever happen with my job (although it is important to me that I am financially independent and earning my own income). I also take comfort in knowing that I have a decent level of cash and investment reserves to fall back on, as well as several protection policies in place, like income protection and life cover, which will either pay out to me or my husband in the event that something happened to me that prevented me from working, or worse, death. Being a qualified financial advisor means I am pretty financially literate anyway and generally up to speed with government and regulatory changes in that sphere.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income?
I have never received an inheritance or any financial help from my family. I did however take voluntary redundancy from my previous employer in early 2024. I received a post-tax lump sum payment of just under £50,000. I spent some of this on a bougie holiday and a yoga teacher training course, but the remainder went into savings.
Day One

7 a.m. — Wake up, quickly throw some clothes on and head out to a morning Pilates class. I have an annual membership at my local studio, so this doesn’t cost me anything to attend. It’s a burny one — who knew micro movements could be so spicy!

9 a.m. — Arrive home and log into work. Suddenly remember that it’s payday, woo! I don’t actually have anything I immediately need to pay for, but I transfer my half of the bills to the joint account I share with my husband, and also switch money into my various ‘sinking’ pots for things like holidays, gifts, beauty and home repairs.

10 a.m. — An alert goes off on my phone to remind me that tickets for an artist I love go on sale. I login to my Ticketmaster account and purchase two tickets to see Taaliah (Scottish trans dance artist, one to watch!). I message my friend who I’ll be going to the gig with to let them know I’ve secured the goods and she transfers me to cover her ticket, £20 for my half.

12 p.m. — I leave the house to head to a facial appointment which I’ve booked over my lunch. I try to go for a facial every eight weeks and I always get complimented on my good skin, so it must be paying off! I’ve paid a deposit for the appointment already, so I only have £30 to pay today.

1 p.m. — Leave my appointment feeling glowy! On the way back I nip into my local greengrocers to pick up some vegetables we need for tonight's dinner. We try to buy most of our fruit and veg from here as it’s more sustainable and reduces food waste (as we only buy what we need) and allows us to support a local business too! I get tomatoes, a courgette, onions and garlic, £5.26.

2:15 p.m. — I rustle up a quick egg wrap and a coffee for lunch. I’ve ran over my allocated hour a little bit but nobody seems to have noticed. Then it’s head down and full steam ahead to get some work done before the day is out.

6:30 p.m. — My friend comes over and I make us a spicy tomato and sausage pasta for dinner. We decide to make vision boards for the year ahead using some old magazines I already have at home. I include lots of health and beauty cuts in mine — start as you mean to go on I guess! Unfortunately, the only travel magazine we have is a Scottish one, so there was no visualising exotic holidays for us!

10 p.m. — My friend heads home, and I watch TV for another hour or so with P before we head to bed.

Total: £55.26
Day Two

8 s.m. — Early rise to squeeze in a light breakfast before heading out to my local Parkrun with P. The course is VERY hilly (!) so I’m pleased to complete it in 28 minutes. Afterwards, we head to our favourite local bakery and refuel with a black Americano coffee and an almond croissant, £5.62.

11 a.m. — Post run and baked goods, I pop into Morrisons to pick up some other food items that I didn’t manage to get at the greengrocers. I get spaghetti, olives and parmesan, £11.73.

3 p.m. — I potter around the house for the rest of the day doing some chores until my friend messages me asking if I want to go for a walk. We bring our dogs with us and head to the park. After walking around for a bit, we decide it’s too cold and we need a hot drink, so walk over to a popular gelato store. Surprisingly they are still selling gelato in this weather, but they are also offering bougie hot chocolates with smores melted over the top. We both order one of these and my friend says she will get these as a thank you for having her over for dinner a few weeks back.

4:30 p.m. — I get home and make a start on dinner. On the menu tonight is a sardine spaghetti recipe I got off of Instagram. It turns out to be really tasty, although the house STINKS after it.

6 p.m. — A quiet evening at home, watching a film on Netflix and drinking multiple cups of tea! P pays for the film The Substance off Amazon Prime as I’ve seen some talk about it on social media and I’m intrigued. Let's just say it was wild! I really enjoyed it though and it definitely posed some hard questions about female beauty standards.

11 p.m. — I make a final herbal tea and head to bed, still traumatised by The Substance. I spend more time than usual on my skincare tonight, using all the anti-aging products I can find!

Total: £17.35
Day Three

8:30 a.m. — It’s Sunday and P wakes me up to ask if I would like scrambled eggs on toast from breakfast — 100% yes. I enjoy breakfast in bed like a queen, before eventually dragging myself up and getting ready.

10:30 a.m. — I’m back at my yoga and Pilates studio, this time for a vinyasa yoga class. I’ve invited my friend along and sign her in under one of the two free passes I get a month with my membership. The class is so good and I feel well stretched and energised! My friend and I go for a coffee and a weekly debrief afterwards. She says she will pay for it as I signed her into the class.

1 p.m. — After leaving my friend, I drive to check out the new The Range superstore that has just opened near me. BIG MISTAKE. My self control is seriously tested, and even though I hold back on buying a lot of things, I still manage to splurge £100 on various homeware items that we don’t really need. P laughs when I return home with three large bags full and a guilty look on my face, whoops!

6 p.m. — We make a cucumber salad with prawns for dinner. Again, we have all the ingredients we need already so no additional spend involved. It's super low calorie, but really filling and flavourful.

7 p.m. — Antique Roadshow comes on the TV (guilty pleasure) and there's a woman on it who has brought along a vintage dress by the fashion brand, Biba, to be valued. The dealer reckons it could be worth £3-4k! I quickly search Biba on the Vinted app and come across a vintage kimono for sale at £20. I offer £15 and it’s accepted (plus postage costs on top). I actually quite like it, but even if I never wear it, I figure it could be a good investment piece, £16.45.

8 p.m. — I run a bath and soak in it for around an hour, topping up the hot water as I go. Once out, I organise myself for the week ahead by doing some meal prep and ironing. 

10:30 p.m. — Half watch some TV whilst browsing socials on my phone, then head upstairs for an early night

Total: £116.45
Day Four

7 a.m. — Monday again, ugh! I get up early to hit the gym before my working day begins. I train hard and decide to reward myself with a coffee afterwards from Greggs. I recently signed up to Monzo’s perks scheme and one of these benefits happens to be a free weekly coffee from Greggs — cha ching!

9 a.m. — Working day begins. My workload is a bit quieter this week, which I’m enjoying after a really busy period at the end of the year. I kill time until lunch browsing and half responding to emails.

12:30 p.m. — I have a parcel to post so I walk to the Post Office on my lunch. Postage comes to £3.75 which I find scandalous.

1 p.m. — I have a halloumi and veg tray bake for my lunch that I made up the night before. I thank yesterday's me for being so organised! 

5 p.m. — The rest of the day drags as I don’t have enough work to occupy myself with. I decide to book a trip to Glencoe that we have been talking about. The hotel we want to stay in is very popular, so you need to book far in advance. I opt for their flexible package in case something happens unexpectedly and we need to cancel. I secure the booking without having to pay any deposit at this stage.

6:30 p.m. — I’m booked in for a yoga class tonight and decide to walk to the studio to help me hit my step count for the day!

8:30 p.m. — 60 minutes of yin yoga. So nice and chilled. I catch a lift home with my friend and we get a gossip in the car. 

9 p.m. — PJs on, decaf tea and a few episodes of Seinfeld before bed. This is what being in your thirties looks like!

Total: £3.75
Day Five

8:30 a.m. — I slept in this morning so will need to go to the gym after work. I have a few meetings today so at least that keeps the day moving along nicely.

12:30 p.m. — I stop for lunch and have the halloumi and veg tray bake again.

1 p.m. — I have a brow appointment booked so I block out my diary and drive there. The appointment takes roughly 30 mins as I’m only there for a wax and tint, so I make it back home within the hour. I always feel so much better with my brows done, they really help to frame your face, £22.

6 p.m. — After work I drive to the gym. It is soooo busy! I guess that's what I get for sleeping in this morning. I need to wait around to get on some of the machines which is a bit annoying, but I manage to get my workout done eventually.

7:15 p.m. — I leave the gym and go for a nosey in B&M. Quite impressed by their health range — lots of protein-based products and supplements. I pick up some electrolyte tablets and protein bars, £11.67.

8 p.m. — Home to dinner on the table — I married a good one. We have a stir-fry with some leftover vegetables that we have in the fridge. The rest of the night is spent chilling out and browsing on my laptop. We are going on holiday in a couple of weeks and we need new suitcases, so I order some off Amazon. I also add a travel adapter and some insect repellent to the basket as I know we need these too. I split the total cost with P, so my share is £78.

9 p.m. — We watch something on TV, but it can’t have been very interesting as I have no recollection of what it was. I tidy up the house a bit and lay out my work clothes for the morning, before hitting the hay and listening to a few chapters of my audiobook.

Total: £111.67
Day Six

8 a.m. — It’s my day in the office so I catch the train into town. I’m considered a remote worker, so any trips I do make into the office I get to claim back in expenses.

8:20 a.m. — I grab a latte from a coffee stall in the station. They have an extensive pastry selection but I’m trying really hard to eat well this month. I resist the pastries and quickly pay for my coffee before I change my mind, £3.89.

11 a.m. — I’m in a training session all morning, but manage to sneak away for a coffee break. Whilst I wait for the kettle to boil I check my notifications and see my gym direct debit has gone out. Work puts lunch on for us, which saves me from having to buy anything — result. I try to opt for healthier options, but again the pastries are tempting. This diet is really testing me!

2 p.m. — Training done, thank God! I have a nail appointment scheduled over my lunch but my energy levels are flagging, so I swing by a coffee shop beforehand to get another latte, £3.60. I’m just booked in to get some nail art added to my existing set as I ran out of time getting them done last week due to my work diary. I paid in full last week so the extra art doesn’t cost me anything.

4:30 p.m. — Laptop down and trainers on as I dash out of the office and catch the train to yoga. I do a 45-minute vinyasa class, then decide to walk home afterwards as I’ve not hit my step count for the day. 

7 p.m. — P has already eaten by the time I get home and I can’t be bothered making a big meal so I just rustle up some scrambled egg and toast — girl dinner. After eating, I start to write up a checklist of things we still need to do for our holiday. I read over some email correspondence I’ve been sent by the tour operator we’ve booked through, and suddenly realise that we need a travel visa for where we are going — Sh$T! I submit the application and hope that I’ve left enough time for it to be approved before we go away, £42.33.

8 p.m. — We tune into Dragons Den on TV. I worked in Private Equity for a few years, so I always enjoy hearing the pitches and dissecting the deals. There is a guy on the show who is looking to raise funds to launch a dog swimming pool franchise, which is pretty obscure! Needless to say, he doesn’t get their investment!

10:30 p.m. — I listen to another couple of chapters of my audiobook, then off to bed.

Total: £49.82
Day Seven

8:30 a.m. — Here we go again! My motivation at work is so low at the moment as mentally I’ve already checked out and am thinking about my holiday. I remind myself that I only need to get through two more weeks before I’ll be drinking cocktails in warmer climates. A strong black coffee helps charge me up and I get my head down for the next couple of hours.

12:30 p.m. — Lunchtime and I have the last of my halloumi tray bake. Will definitely make that again. I have loads of house chores I should really try and get through in this free hour, but I can’t be bothered and instead spend most of it lying on the sofa browsing social media — productive!

4:30 p.m. — Batter through work for the rest of the afternoon. Despite my lack of motivation I actually manage to get a lot more done than I was anticipating. I decide I’ve earned a lazy day tomorrow.

5:30 p.m. — I leave the house to walk to meet my friend for a Pilates class. This one is at a different studio to the one I normally go to. They’ve just launched a reformer studio and we want to check it out. I paid for the class in advance a few weeks ago via an intro offer that they were running.

7 p.m. — Class done. Not sure that it’s my thing, I definitely feel more challenged by mat Pilates. I have another Class Pass to use so I’ll probably go back at some point. Say bye to my friend and start my walk back home. I pop into a very busy Lidl on the way to pick up some supplies that we need. Sometimes I feel like adulthood is just constantly running out of and replacing things for the house. I get what I need and breeze through self-scan and away from this apocalyptic madness, £11.

8 p.m. — Dinner is ready for me getting home again. Tonight it's prawn tagliatelle in a spicy tomato sauce which is one of my favourite easy midweek meals. Post dinner, I check my emails and see that my travel visa has come back approved — panic averted. 

9 p.m. — It’s Friday tomorrow and I feel like going out and eating some good food. I get my phone out and book a table for us at a local restaurant for the next evening. The restaurant asks me to pay a small deposit to secure the table, which will get taken off the bill tomorrow, £5.

11 p.m. — I’m shattered tonight, so no audiobook and straight to bed for me.

Total: £16
The Breakdown

Food & Drink: £52.77
Clothes & Beauty: £68.45
Home & Health: £178
Entertainment: £20
Travel: £0
Other: £51.08

Total: £370.30

Conclusion

"It’s actually been pretty eye opening to see how much I spend in a week. Let's just say it's A LOT more than I expected. I knew I could be quite frivolous, but I maybe didn’t realise just how much that was the case. 
I would say that there are a few purchases which are not run of the mill and likely wouldn’t appear most weeks, like the visa and items for our holiday. My food and drink spend is also lower than normal this month because I’ve not been going out so much, but anything I’ve saved here has ultimately been swallowed up by the impulse house decor purchases I made on my trip to The Range. All in all, I’ve enjoyed doing the money diary and believe that it will make me more mindful of my day-to-day spending going forward."

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Money Diary: A Project Officer On £36,550

Money Diary: A Flight Attendant On €40,000

Money Diary: A HR Manager On £66,000

Black Dress Trousers For Work, Play & Everything In Between

$
0
0
.disclaimer{width:90%;margin-bottom:1rem}.disclaimer__lines{width:100%;margin:0 auto;border-bottom:1px solid #999;padding:0;max-width:150px}.disclaimer__copy{width:100%;max-width:355px;font-family:Brown Regular,sans-serif;font-size:.9rem;font-weight:300;line-height:1.3em;color:#333;padding:0 0 .4rem;margin:1rem auto;text-align:center}
All linked products are independently selected by our editors. If you purchase any of these products, we may earn a commission.

Once strictly office attire, black dress trousers have fully entered their cool-girl era. With a tee and trainers, they bring polish to casual dressing. Swap in a feminine blouse or sleek knit, and suddenly, they’re ready for a night out. Top it off with a blazer, and you’ve got a look that means business — whether you’re actually heading to a big meeting or just craving a slick, confident vibe over espresso martinis.

The best pairs don’t just look good — they fit like a glove and are comfy enough for hours-long wear (including after you’ve kicked off your shoes). No weird gaping, no awkward sagging; just sharp, versatile silhouettes that work for any scenario. Whether you’re into wide-leg wool trousers, pleated styles, cropped and flared fits, or luxe silk and velvet options, we’ve culled the strongest picks from R29-reader-favourite retailers and brands.

Ahead, the best black dress trousers worth adding to your rotation right now.

DashDividers_1_500x100

Dôen Glenne Pant

A little ‘60s sailor, a little Parisian cool — these ultra-high-waist wool trousers are pure French-girl vibes.

COS Wool-Blend Wide-Leg Trousers

A modern take on the classic black trouser, with subtle barrel legs and sharp pleats that bring just the right amount of drama.

Massimo Dutti Relaxed Fit Cool Wool Trousers

Minimalist suiting at its best, these fluid wool trousers make a statement whether styled as a three-piece set or paired with a tee and ballet flats.

Maeve The Colette Cropped Wide-Leg Trousers

A bestseller for a reason — this magic-stretch wide leg is available in every fit, from standard to petite, plus, tall, and adaptive, proving great trousers should be for everybody. And now, available in a spring-ready linen blend for warmer days ahead.

Babaton Leeway Pant

Soft, slinky and sourced from Japan, this high-rise, wide-leg trouser drapes like a dream with an effortless, flowy fit.

Reformation Sora Velvet Pant

Luxe yet lounge-worthy — these plush velvet trousers bring a decadent touch to dressed-up or dressed-down moments.

Abercrombie Curve Love Sloane High Rise Tailored Wide Leg Pant

The viral fit for a reason — this high-rise wide-leg trouser hugs curves with no waist gap and delivers a menswear-inspired polish.

Tuckernuck Black Feather Compression Knit Ashford Pants

Fanciful, feathered and made for a night out — these party-ready trousers bring the drama in the best way.

Madewell Plus Slouchy Straight Pants

Easygoing but polished — these drapey twill trousers effortlessly flex between casual and dressy.

Sézane Loulou Trousers

With effortless drape and Parisian charm, these flowy, pleated trousers make an understated statement with every step.

Everlane The Draper Pleated Pant

The ultimate workweek-to-weekend black trousers. Buttery soft with perfect pleats and a slouchy wide-leg fit, they’re polished enough for meetings yet relaxed enough for off-duty plans.

Favorite Daughter The Shortie Favorite Pants

Finally, the perfect wide-leg trousers for petites. A flowy, pleated fit that proves great tailoring shouldn’t require a trip to the tailor.

J.Crew Wide-Leg Stretch Ponte Pant

Stretchy yet structured, these ponte trousers sculpt and smooth while pintuck detailing offers a leg-lengthening effect. 

Lioness La Quinta Pants

A £50 find that looks way more expensive. The lightweight linen blend and pleated waist make them a go-to for warm days and polished outfits alike.

ELOQUII x Kate Spade New York Tailored Wide Leg Trouser

A tuxedo-inspired take on wide-leg trousers made for dressier moments. Tailored to perfection with front pleats and a sleek high rise.

Spanx Ponte Barrel Leg Pant

With a tapered barrel shape, pull-on fit and stretch, these trousers deliver all-day polish without the fuss.

Norma Kamali Pleat Pants

As swishy as they come, these ultra-stretchy, pyjama-soft trousers bring maximum movement with a drapey wide-leg silhouette.

Ann Taylor The Grace Straight Pant

A tailored take on nautical. With sharp button details and a straight-leg fit, these sailor-inspired trousers balance timeless charm with modern polish.

Good American Scuba Boss Straight Trouser

Sculpted and sleek, this high-rise trouser snatches the waist, smooths the silhouette and brings power-dressing energy to any outfit.

Veronica Beard Renzo Pant

Polished, but not stuffy, this slim-leg trouser keeps things sharp with gold-button details and a curve-hugging fit.

Anine Bing Carrie Pant

The definition of relaxed tailoring, this wide-leg is crafted from an airy linen blend with a subtle sheen for easy spring sophistication.

Theory Slim Fit Stretch Wool Trousers

As classic as it gets, these slim-fit wool trousers are a grounding base for everything from crisp shirting to soft knits and flowy tops.

New Balance Boylston Twill Trouser

The definition of slouchy cool. With a straight leg and soft pleat, these twill trousers bring polished ease to any outfit.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

The Best Work Trousers: Work Hard, Dress Smarter

The 10 Key Pieces For Your Winter Office Wardrobe

28 Work Bags For Women — From Totes To Backpacks


We Tested £440 Worth Of Primers To See If They Actually Do Anything

$
0
0
.disclaimer{width:90%;margin-bottom:1rem}.disclaimer__lines{width:100%;margin:0 auto;border-bottom:1px solid #999;padding:0;max-width:150px}.disclaimer__copy{width:100%;max-width:355px;font-family:Brown Regular,sans-serif;font-size:.9rem;font-weight:300;line-height:1.3em;color:#333;padding:0 0 .4rem;margin:1rem auto;text-align:center}
All linked products are independently selected by our editors. If you purchase any of these products, we may earn a commission.

A flawless makeup look isn’t just about application — it’s about longevity, too. That’s where primers come in. Any professional makeup artist will agree that a primer is the difference between your makeup sticking around for the long haul or slipping off your face after a few hours. Happily, there seems to be an endless supply of them — and each one serves a distinct purpose.

There are hydrating formulas, which make applying foundation over dry patches a seamless experience, mattifying ones that help minimise the appearance of pores without pilling, and glow-boosting options that lend makeup a dewy finish. That’s just the tip of the iceberg.

To separate the truly exceptional from the less-than-average, our team of editors — representing a range of skin types from dry to oily — road-tested 14 primers across a broad spectrum of price points. To keep things consistent, we used the same foundations and setting sprays across the batch of products we trialled, with detailed before and after shots to show you what our makeup looked like after a long day of wear.

Read ahead for a detailed breakdown of the best makeup primers that actually deliver on their promises.

DashDividers_1_500x100

Charlotte Tilbury Invisible UV Flawless Poreless Primer, £40

Tested By: Vanese Maddix, contributing beauty writer

Skin type: “Normal”, dry

“Having tried most skincare and makeup products from Charlotte Tilbury, I’m surprised it took me so long to try the Invisible UV Flawless Poreless Primer, £40. I was slightly wary before my first application: The product had a pale hue, so I was worried it might leave a beige tint or white cast on my skin. To my surprise, the moisturiser sank right into my skin with no white cast in sight. My skin instantly felt hydrated and I found this primer worked even better when layered over the Charlotte Tilbury Magic Cream.

“My skin looked glowy and my makeup layered beautifully over it without any dryness [thanks to a mix of skin-conditioning ingredients, including hyaluronic acid, peptides and camellia oil]. I didn’t find that this primer helped my makeup last longer, but it did create a nice and smooth base for further makeup application. This was an instant hit for me and has become a staple in my daily routine. I also love that it has SPF 50 broad spectrum protection, guarding my skin against UV damage.”

DashDividers_1_500x100

Milk Makeup Hydro Grip Hydrating Makeup Primer, £35

Tested By: Karina Hoshikawa, senior writer

Skin type: Oily, acne-prone

“I’ve been so lazy when it comes to primer, and truly can’t remember the last time I used it in my makeup routine, but applying this stuff was like reconnecting with an old friend. I remembered why it was one of the few primers I loved; the texture isn’t silicone-y and dry like other primers I’ve tried — it almost feels like nothing on your skin, and certainly doesn’t make my face feel drier than before I applied it. It’s gentle and has no noticeable fragrance. As the name suggests, I feel like it does help ‘grip’ my foundation and concealer well.

“For my everyday makeup, I keep things simple: A little foundation/concealer where needed, a touch of blush, curled lashes, brushed up brows, and that’s about it. Here, I applied a light coverage foundation and noticed my application was smoother. You can still see some texture and breakouts, though, (which I do not mind, by the way) but it spackled the micro textures I tend to notice most on my cheeks and forehead. This was not my favourite in terms of extending wear, but that is likely because I have oily skin and I live in a warm, humid climate. That being said, for a quick face beat, I can’t fault it given how hydrating and comfortable it is to wear. (TL;DR: If skin tints are the ‘no-makeup makeup’, then Milk’s Hydro Grip is a ‘no-primer primer.’”)

DashDividers_1_500x100

Saie Super Glowy Gel in Roseglow, £22

Tested By: Jacqueline Kilikita, beauty director

Skin type: Combination, acne-prone

Saie’s Glowy Super Gel boasts a wet, liquid texture, so it absorbs very quickly, but it stays tacky for just long enough that my foundation clings to it. While it makes for a great initial base, I prefer to combine it with my foundation so that the iridescent particles aren’t completely covered up. That way, they pop on my cheekbones and brow bones like a subtle highlighter.

“Honestly, I don’t notice any change in the longevity of my makeup when I use this, but it does lend a beautiful dewy effect. However, I think it’s better suited to those with dry skin considering that the formula contains a handful of nourishing oils. As someone who is acne-prone, I don’t tend to reach for this every day.”

DashDividers_1_500x100

Hourglass Vanish Airbrush Primer, £57

Tested By: Venus Wong, senior writer

Skin type: Sensitive, combination

“Hourglass Cosmetics and I go way back: one of my first-ever beauty purchases was the Veil Primer. I was living in Asia at the time and it was a holy grail for helping my makeup stay put in the hot and humid weather. Since my skin has matured and tends to get oilier around my T-zone, I’ve made the switch to the lesser-known Vanish Primer, a silicone-based product that promises to blur over blemishes and lines to create an airbrushed effect for your makeup.

“The product has a more gel-like texture compared to the Veil, but it spreads out super easily — creating no residue on the skin whatsoever — and forms a silky-smooth, almost undetectable layer over the skin. When I layer this under my skin tint it creates a blurring effect over my pores that still very much looks natural, while sweeping away some of my shine. I notice that my base makeup is less prone to rubbing off when I wear this primer, and it’s also excellent at extending the wear time of my eye makeup. This primer gets top scores from me; it deserves to be just as popular as the Veil Primer.”

DashDividers_1_500x100

NYX Plump Right Back Primer + Serum, £15

“I’ve tried this serum before and it remains one of my favourite primers. It instantly plumps my skin and unveils a dewy glow like no other. Packed with skin-loving ingredients including vitamin E, pro-vitamin B5 and hyaluronic acid, the transparent formula leaves my skin feeling deeply hydrated.

“While the formula isn’t sticky, it has a pleasant tacky finish that helps my makeup layer nicely on top. I like that it doesn’t dry down, no matter how long it takes to apply makeup over it. As a serum-primer hybrid, it feels similar to applying skincare. My skin stayed incredibly glowy from morning to night without makeup running off, no touch-ups needed. No notes from me — this one’s a sure winner.” — Vanese Maddix, contributing beauty writer

DashDividers_1_500x100

Rare Beauty Always An Optimist Pore Diffusing Primer, £27

“As an oily skin girlie who constantly blots unwanted shine, this product is an absolute game-changer. It really does create a filtered, poreless finish, even before a drop of makeup touches my skin. As I was testing this, I literally said out loud, ‘Where did my pores go?’

“The texture of the primer is silky and creates a soft matte finish, but doesn’t dry out my skin like other mattifying primers I’ve used in the past. It absorbs oil spectacularly well and my makeup looks flawless even without setting it with a loose powder. Best of all, it’s the one primer that I feel made my makeup last all day, all without a hint of creasing. If you’re looking for a filter in a bottle, you’ve found it in Rare Beauty’s primer.” — Karina Hoshikawa, senior writer

DashDividers_1_500x100

Clé de Peau Beauté Correcting Cream Veil, £60

“I get a lot of my makeup and skincare knowledge from RedNote, a Chinese social media app that has blown up in the West since the TikTok ban, and the girlies over there are enamored with this primer from Clé de Peau. They claim it’s a must-have for more luminescent, glass-like skin, and after giving this a try, I can see the hype. The product looks very milky straight out of the tube, but you have to trust the process. Once you blend it out, it lends a very natural radiance that creates a more uniform, radiant look.

“Since the product also contains SPF 21 broad spectrum protection against UV rays, many people wear this on its own, but I recommend pairing this with your preferred base makeup since the primer lends a smoothing effect that helps your skin look flawless, with a soft-focus effect. I can’t stop touching my face when I have this on; it lends such a silky, lovely finish. I reach for this product whenever I need to look good in front of a camera. With this high price tag, it’s a ‘special occasion’ kind of makeup primer for me.” — Venus Wong, senior writer

DashDividers_1_500x100

Rimmel Multi-Tasker Better Than Filters Primer in 003 Light, £12.99

“If you’re a fan of Charlotte Tilbury’s Hollywood Flawless Filter, you’ll be intrigued by this Rimmel primer. Like its luxury counterpart, the formula is housed in a tall glass bottle with a doe foot applicator — but it’s not exactly the same. Rimmel’s version is more fluid, and to ensure that the silver illuminating particles don’t gather on the tip of the applicator, you have to give it a good shake first. A celebrity makeup artist once told me to mix primers like this with my foundation instead of applying them in separate layers, so that’s what I’ve been doing. It takes foundation (which can appear flat and erase my features) and breathes life into it. I’ve received countless compliments on my glowing skin since using it.

“I do tend to get very oily during the day, though, and it seems to exacerbate my forehead grease, but it’s great for masking dry, flaky skin. I enjoy using it, and some days I wear it alone with a dab of concealer. My main pain point is the neck of the bottle, where the product seems to collect and become messy. I’d recommend standing this upright rather than carelessly throwing it into your makeup bag as I did!” — Jacqueline Kilikita, beauty director

DashDividers_1_500x100

ONE/SIZE Secure The Blur Makeup Magnet Primer, £34

“As my skin type fluctuates between normal and dry, I steer clear of products that promise blurring and mattifying effects, so I didn’t expect this primer to work for me. Surprisingly, during my first test, I found the texture to be quite moisturising, which I believe could be due to the inclusion of niacinamide in the formula. It didn’t feel bad on my skin or dry it out, but it also didn’t deliver the level of moisture and glow I usually look for in a primer.

“While my makeup sat well over it, I could tell that my usual hydration levels were missing. This isn’t a primer I’d personally reach for again, but I think it could work well for anyone with combination skin. For me, ONE/SIZE’s Secure the Glow Tacky Hydrating Primer, feels more aligned with my preferences.” — Vanese Maddix, beauty contributing writer

DashDividers_1_500x100

REFY Glow and Sculpt Face Primer, £24

“I’ll try any product that claims to make my skin appear more toned and glowy, so I was excited to get my hands on REFY’s primer, which purportedly does both. The facial roller applicator is meant to reduce puffiness, but it didn’t do much for me. You have to give the tube a real hard squeeze so that the product oozes out from the crevices of the roller, and it’s a bit messy. The roller itself was made from plastic and felt scratchy against my skin. I much prefer the applicator design on the brand’s Face Sculpt moisturiser, with its cooling metal roller ball tip.

“The primer did deliver the other half of its promises: Thanks to hydrating ingredients like glycerin and vitamin B5, the formula had a watery, serum-like texture and kept my skin moisturised and glossy all day. It also contains niacinamide, which calmed down some of my redness. I wouldn’t say that this is the ideal primer for making your makeup last longer — you can actually spot some eyeliner fall out in the after shot — but I’m more than impressed by how it left my skin plump and bouncy, and for that, my base makeup settled in much nicer.” — Venus Wong, senior writer

DashDividers_1_500x100

e.l.f. Cosmetics Power Grip Primer, £10

“I discovered this primer after interviewing Joey King, who was announced as the face of an e.l.f. campaign at the end of last year. This stuff is not just good for its price point — it’s good, period. When they say ‘grip they mean it. The lightweight gel texture looks similar to Milk’s Hydro Grip but has a tacky texture that almost acts like glue to anything that touches it. That might be a dealbreaker to some, but I don’t mind it. I mean, ‘grip’ is literally in the name! In terms of longevity, I’m honestly so impressed by this primer.

“Even when I prep and set my makeup, my foundation loves to pull a disappearing act by the end of the day, but not when Power Grip is in the mix. I applied this in the morning, had a full day of meetings, and my glam still looked fresh in the afternoon. It has a slightly dewy finish, so I did have to blot excess oil around lunchtime, but all in all, I have to say this is one of my new go-to’s for when I need my makeup to last — no matter what.” — Karina Hoshikawa, senior writer

DashDividers_1_500x100

Armani Luminous Silk Hydrating Primer, £39 £31.20

Giorgio Armani’s Luminous Silk Foundation is beloved by makeup artists and beauty editors alike, so I was intrigued to try the brand’s corresponding primer. At first squeeze, it’s just like a serum: lightweight and absorbs into the skin very quickly. While it contains far fewer light-reflecting particles in comparison to the others I tried here, it makes skin appear just as dewy and fresh. In fact, I love how this made my makeup look the most! My foundation glided on with ease, blended quickly, and stuck around for much longer than usual.

“I was taken aback when I checked my face in the mirror hours later, as usually, my makeup separates on my oily nose and forehead. But not this time. While it didn’t do anything to quell said shine (nor does it claim to) there are other skincare benefits thanks to moisturising shea butter and glycerin. I’ll use this down to the last drop!” — Jacqueline Kilikita, beauty director

DashDividers_1_500x100

IL MAKIAGE No Filter Poreless Base Smoothing Primer, £42

“If you’re looking for a primer that helps your makeup stick around without budging, this is a winner. It comes in a clear, slippery silicone-based gel and has a lovely consistency that feels weightless on the skin. It smooths over my pores and helps blur out the fine lines around my mouth when I apply my skin tint.

“The lasting power is impressive: I’ve experimented with glitter eye shadow and some of my more smudge-prone eyeliner, and this product has made a noticeable difference in helping them stick around for longer. One critique is that it does pill on my skin when I’m more dehydrated. Unless I’ve been moisturised to the hilt, the primer forms little annoying clumps on my face, making my base makeup look flaky. For that reason, I’ve mostly used this as a primer for my eye makeup, and have made sure I’ve slathered on eye cream before doing so.” — Venus Wong, senior writer

DashDividers_1_500x100

Vieve Skin Nova Radiant Makeup Primer, £31

Vieve’s Skin Nova is perhaps the worst kept secret among beauty editors (my peers love it so much, they sing its praises at every opportunity). The much-adored primer can be worn on its own so that it lends skin a subtle gleam, or underneath makeup to make foundation appear more skin-like and natural. I tried it both ways.

“I used my foundation brush to apply two pumps to just-moisturised skin and followed with one pump of my foundation (Shiseido Revitalessence Skin Glow Foundation). The addition of Skin Nova made my skin look plump and glossy, rather than flat, and every time I caught myself in the mirror, I was surprised by how healthy my skin looked! That’s all down to hydrating beta glucan, moisturising glycerin and the tiniest of light-reflecting particles.

“My one gripe is that the tacky finish didn’t wear off, which meant my hair got stuck to my face all day. As such, I kept having to touch my skin, but I have to say that this primer acted like Velcro for my foundation; it didn’t budge an inch! However, I much prefer to wear this on its own on no-makeup days. I love the soft-focus effect that it lends to my bare skin. It makes me look good — and I don’t even have to try.” — Jacqueline Kilikita, beauty director

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

I Tried Every Clinique Black Honey Makeup Product

R29 Editors Try Rhode's New Lip Pencils

I Got The Kicked Bob & Found My Own Personal Style

Ask A Therapist: I’m Single & I’m Embarrassed About How Lonely I Am

$
0
0

Ever wondered what you’d say to a therapist, given the chance? We asked Dr Sheri Jacobson, a retired psychotherapist with over 17 years’ clinical experience and the co-founder of Harley Therapy Platform (UK Online Therapists), for advice on the things we worry about in private.

Have a question for a therapist? Submit yours for Sheri.

Question:

I’ve been single for a while now. A lot of the time I’m fine with it, and sometimes even happy to be single: I am free to define my life and date who I want and focus solely on my own happiness. I keep seeing articles and posts on social media that emphasise how being a single woman is something to be empowered by instead of constantly seeking a partner for the sake of it. I want to be fully empowered all the time too.

But I’m just not. It doesn’t help that all my close friends are in relationships and it can’t help but make me feel lonely, especially around events like last New Year’s Eve, which I spent alone. I try to talk to my friends about feeling lonely but they just feel sorry for me, which makes me feel patronised. So I have these intense bouts of real loneliness and then feel ashamed to feel this way. I know my happiness isn’t defined by another person but that doesn’t mean I want to be alone.

How can I learn to embrace all these feelings now without just rushing into another relationship?

– Katya, 27

Answer:

It’s important to remember that the past few years have made loneliness worse: chiefly because of the physical isolation and the lack of contact with people, which is really important to our wellbeing. The pause on a lot of activities and seeing other people really compounded this feeling of isolation. And while people who live together or are in relationships may have bonded closer in the pandemic, it’s hard to feel that you have missed out on that.

There is no shame in feeling loneliness, it is just a feeling. As far as possible, be non-judgmental of your emotions: there’s no good emotions, there’s no bad emotions, things are as they are. Loneliness, like anything, is just an emotional state. These emotions will come and they will go and the more work that we can do on 1) allowing those feelings to be and 2) being compassionate towards ourselves, ironically, the less negative we will feel.

It’s often hard to say this negative feeling is actually a positive one or a neutral one. If you’re boiling with anger, for example, it feels so uncomfortable that it might well be a negative feeling. But the fact is, the more that we can tolerate feelings like loneliness, the less power that it has over us and the easier it is to diffuse. The more that we can be tolerant and accepting of the hardships or difficulties of life, the more it is likely that it won’t disturb us as much.

One of the ways that people often read into their negative feelings and thoughts is by engaging in them with rumination. You might spend a lot of time trying to work out: Why do I feel this way? Should I be single? Should I not be? Why am I feeling bad about it? Is it bad that I’m feeling bad? We can get ourselves into a real tangle. There’s a couple of techniques, aside from working on the acceptance, for when you get stuck ruminating. One is distraction, but it’s not a distraction by way of avoidance: it’s more diversion. It’s doing something healthy in place of ruminating, which could be doing something that you enjoy. The other is breathing techniques. So if you’re feeling negative thoughts and emotions rising, and you’ve got yourself into a mental tangle, how can you get out? Often just resetting, by focusing internally on basic things like the breath or bodily sensations, can help some people get out of that negative loop.

Other than managing your relationship to your emotions, there are practical steps to combat loneliness. I would start with filtering through your relationships and deciding who it is that you feel good spending time with. Do they enhance your wellbeing? We often feel better after spending time with some people and worse after spending time with others. It’s about identifying how you feel after spending some time, even online, with someone and recognising who those good quality connections are with.

With that in mind, make time to nurture those relationships. You do that by investing time and energy with the grand old skill of listening. The more that we can make time for someone and listen to them, and the other person does the same with you, the less lonely we feel. As we all know, we can be very lonely in a busy crowd, often because we don’t have that emotional connection with someone which is facilitated by good listening, good sharing and good support of one another.

This article was originally published in January 2022 and has since been updated.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

There’s Nowhere To Hang Out For Free Anymore

Dating Is Important But My Recovery Is My Priority

The Joy Of Focusing On Nothing As A Single Person

I’m 27 — Should I Start Telling My Dates That I Probably Don’t Want Kids?

$
0
0

I’ve never been that maternal when it comes to children. Maternal towards some friends perhaps, playing the “mum” role at university when drunken nights out went too far, but I struggle to picture myself as an actual, real, mother. Beyond playing with my much younger cousins in the countryside, reuniting a lost child with her parent once, and volunteering as a teaching assistant at a youth theatre in my late teens, I have limited experience with children, and I’d like to keep it that way. That presents its own internal conflict: Now I’m approaching an age where friends are considering becoming parents — one ONS report says 50% of women born in 1990 in England and Wales became parents by their 30th birthday — I’m wondering if I should flag to those I get romantically involved with from here on out that I probably don’t want kids.

Here’s what I think I want my future to look like: a long–term life partner, who I may marry in a small ceremony, who will take a sabbatical to travel with me in our late 30s, and who will also want a cat. I already have my cat name picked out, and no, I’m not telling you because it’s original and mine. When friends have children someday, I’ll be the “cool aunt”  who babysits on occasion — then goes back to writing, with upcoming flights booked for a long weekend away somewhere with good food and art. That sounds like a pretty nice life to me.

At school, when friends would talk about how many children they wanted and what their names would be — even though they themselves were still children — along with the wedding that would come first to a man they’d met six months prior, I’d find it baffling. “Six months?! I wouldn’t marry someone without having known them for at least four years. That’s only four birthdays you’ll have celebrated with them. You’d hardly know them.” I was 11. Ever the realist. And as for the make–believe “future children” games, I don’t have any memories of playing those, maybe because it never appealed. The fact girls were using their lunch breaks to discuss and daydream about these things shows how early on the idea of becoming a mother is instilled in people, and how a maternal instinct is expected. One study found that toy preferences among children become gendered as early as three to eight months old. 

Now, at nearly 28 years old, I feel the same as I did back then: disillusioned and uninspired by the idea of being a parent. I don’t like the idea of all aspects of my life being dictated by a child, and I hate how common it is for women to lose their own identities, absorbed instead into the role of mother (while dads regularly continue to still be Harry-down-the-pub-after-footie). I’d also worry about how I’d affect a child, because we all have baggage from our parents. Having said that, I’m not 100% committed to the idea of not being a parent. I find “gentle parenting” an interesting style of raising children (which avoids leading by consequence and punishment, instead promoting boundaries and understanding); I know if I was a mother that helping my child build self-esteem would be high on my agenda; and I’m very pro-adoption and fostering. Occasionally, I can see myself fostering teenagers in my 40s, when I’m (hopefully) financially secure and ready to give more of myself to support others. That feels better to me, than to insist on having my own “flesh and blood” when there are children that need love and care already here, waiting.

The trouble is, recently I’ve been thinking about how and when to tell the men I date all of this, especially as I always date men older than me, who are usually in their early 30s. It’s an age in which a lot of people find themselves at a crossroads of decision making, and I don’t want to deprive anyone of a future centred on a traditional family unit. I realise that what I want by comparison is unconventional and unexpected, but I also know I’m not the only one questioning the model presented to us as young girls with our dolls and toy houses. The same ONS study that reported that 50% of women born in 1990 were mums by 30 also notes this is the first time since records began that the other 50% of women were childless at 30. Historically, the statistics have been weighted towards those entering motherhood.

There are so many things we do as humans that, because they’re normalised, we kind of get wrapped up in them before really considering whether this is an authentic desire of our own, or someone else’s dream. Last year, on a first date with a 33-year-old at the back of an Uber, I mentioned I probably didn’t want children. He didn’t seem to mind and continued dating me. In honesty, I was relieved to be able to share this, even if it felt like a buzzkill to bring up. It felt almost confessional, like I’d let a taboo loose, and as though I’d warned this man from the off so he couldn’t later ask why I never said anything. I’m aware this is my own fear of being confronted about not wanting to be a mum projecting itself, but it still felt important to say. 

The other issue is that I’m simply not sure. I’ve changed and grown in the last five years, so while my views on children haven’t shifted, I can’t promise they won’t ever. I don’t want to be locked into a definite, which is also why I hesitate to tell dates about it. People love to say “I told you you’d change your mind” to women who were once ambivalent about motherhood, who then later become mothers. Actress Jodie Cromer recently said on BBC Women’s Hour when speaking of her latest film The End We Start From, “Before going into this [role as a mother], I didn’t really feel like I had a maternal instinct.” She explains how, through acting, she found herself softening to the idea. Life isn’t set in stone, and I don’t want people to see any child I may one day have as an admission that I was “wrong” or that I didn’t know myself well enough. Isn’t one of the key pillars of feminism that we have choices?

Choosing to not be a mum feels radical in patriarchal society. On Instagram, I follow an account called We Are Childfree. It documents the reasoning women have given in their decision to remain childfree and is designed to empower. Though I find it sad that women in this camp often are called on to justify themselves, it’s comforting to see social spaces like this emerge. I don’t have any childfree role models — all of the women in my family have become mothers, and many of my friends either aspire to it, or are where I’m at.

The biological clock isn’t the same for men as it is for women, so I know that in dating men rather than women, I’m not on the same knife edge when it comes to making firm decisions. Having said that, infertility is seldom considered in men and global figures suggest that sperm counts have been declining for a long time. There is still time for me, and (hopefully) for the men I date — I’m not holding anyone back. But I’d like to tell these men my stance, because this is part of getting to know me.

As for how early it needs to be said, I’m still at a loss. If a man tells me he’s set on being a dad, obviously I’d say where I stand. But when neither party brings it up, dancing around serious topics in the early stages of dating in favour of lighthearted fun, do I even need to broach the subject? Twenty-seven is young, but it’s approaching a decade full of expectations, one of which is getting pregnant. Right now, I’m still figuring it all out.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Does Height Really Matter When You're Dating?

Should We Bring Children Into Our Dying World?

How To Have A Conversation About Not Wanting Kids

Money Diary: A Project Lead On £46,000

$
0
0
Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last penny.

This week: “I’m a 26-year-old project manager from Devon. After I graduated, I was very fortunate to move back in with my parents and then start my first full-time position (and move out into my own place). However, COVID-19 struck, and I spent lockdown in my family home working remotely surrounded by my parents, siblings and dog! Once lockdown restrictions were relaxed, I finally moved into a two-bed flat with a friend and began being more independent again. Recently, I completed on my first house which needed an intensive amount of renovation, so I am learning how to live in DIY chaos! I’m incredibly fortunate that I work in a great team and love my job, and I’m grateful to have received three promotions and pay rises. I’ve been incredibly lucky and also so grateful that my family have been there to support and help me throughout the renovation to save money — I didn’t know my brother was good at tiling! — which has made me more appreciative of the cost of things and hunting for the best deal. I’ve had to spend all my savings on renovation and emergency repairs, which means I have a more negative attitude to money where I feel a lot of guilt with spending money on ‘nice’ things. I’ve always been careful with money, so this is a fairly new feeling of having to justify purchases to myself. My partner, A, is a lot more relaxed with money and spending which I hope to embrace a bit more.”

Occupation: Project manager
Industry: Defence
Age: 26
Location: Devon
Salary: £46,589
Paycheque Amount: £2,688, plus £550 from my housemate to cover bills.
Number of housemates: 1 (H, who lodges in the house)
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses

Housing costs: £903.04
Loan payments: £170 per month on kitchen, £75 on laser eye surgery repayments (ends this month), £123 Plan 2 student loan finance.
Savings? £500 emergency fund
Pension? I contribute 4.5% (£174 per month) and my employer matches this and adds an additional 1%, so 5.5%.
Utilities: £180 council tax; £25 a month water; £175 for gas and electric (standing order); £16.90 building and contents insurance; £26.50 Wi-Fi; £26.50 TV licence
All other monthly payments: £10 O2 sim; £45.63 car insurance; £14.43 car tax; £37.53 life insurance and critical illness cover; £9.05 income protection. Subscriptions: £14.99 Spotify; £95 Amazon Prime

Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it? I started my undergraduate degree straight after finishing A levels, and I received the lowest maintenance loan and tuition fee loan. Because of the low maintenance loan, I had to work alongside my studies to afford the rent and necessities, which I think enforced my attitude of saving and not spending unnecessarily.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money?
I was incredibly lucky to have had a very comfortable standard of living, or at least the appearance of it. My parents were great at keeping any money issues to themselves if we had any, but my step-mum (who I call Mum as she’s raised me for most of my life) was always good at budgeting and making sure the finances were in order. When we could, we would go on holidays abroad but if not, we spent many weekends down in Cornwall. We did not receive pocket money, but we would never go without.

If you have, when did you move out of your parents’/guardians’ house?
I moved out for university when I was 18, but moved back once I graduated when I was 21. I lived at home throughout lockdown (I was planning on moving out) and moved out when I was 23 to shared accommodation. I recently moved home for a longer period than expected due to giving up my tenancy and an unexpected delay in completing on my house, but I fully moved out when I was 26. When living at home, I contributed to household costs, but this was reduced to allow me to build up savings for my house purchase and renovation.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself? Does anyone else cover any aspects of your financial life?
I would say I have been fully financially responsible for myself since the age of 26 when I moved into my house.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first job was as a kitchen assistant in a local health centre when I was 15. I actually got this job as a result of volunteering to teach children to play squash for my Duke of Edinburgh award. The kitchen were short on staff one day and I helped out. I worked two evenings a week to earn money to buy my own clothes and save to learn to drive (and eventually buy a car, insurance, et cetera).

Do you worry about money now?
I have a very bad relationship with money as I worry too much about it and restrict my own spending, so when I do spend money, I feel exceptionally guilty about it. I think this stems from having to be so financially careful when I was at university to make sure I could afford rent and food. This has continued into my adult life as although I am on a monthly salary, I feel nervous around spending money and saved throughout to buy my first house and put money aside for renovations. The house required a lot of renovation (some of which was definitely unplanned!) which saw my savings deplete and my spending on house-related activities increase, which has probably heightened my guilt around spending. I am now in a position where the majority of work is done and I can start to save again or spend money on decorating, but I will still have hesitation around spending.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income?
I was extremely fortunate to be given some money towards my house deposit from my grandmother, which I invested and added to so I could afford the house. I also had some money in trust from when my mum passed, but this was not a lot as my dad didn’t really anticipate her passing at all.
Day One

9 a.m. — Alarm goes off; reluctantly get out of bed and begin the tea round after staying at my parents’ last night.

10 a.m. — We sit down on the sofa to watch the new Chicken Run. My mum is having some bad tooth pain, so I make her a hot water bottle and give some pain meds, but otherwise we all sprawl out on the sofa and enjoy it being calm.

12 p.m. — Film finished, highly recommend to all fellow Chicken Run fans! Bacon rolls are cooked by my dad and promptly inhaled.

3 p.m. — Try and find the energy to leave the home household and return to my house.

4 p.m. — After a few laps of driving and lots of complaining, I manage to find parking and walk back to my house. Parking is very busy around where I live, and it can be a real pain in the evenings. Walk in and have a natter with my housemate, H, and his girlfriend, O.

4:45 p.m. — Reluctantly force myself to unpack from my overnight stay and get my life in order before the return to work.

5 p.m. — FaceTime my partner, A, who is currently away with his family. I’ve missed having him around and can’t wait for him to come back.

5:30 p.m. — Decide to start meal prepping my lunches for the week. As I’m in the office three times a week, I try to make sure I take a big lunch into work to get me through the day as there’s nothing worse than being hungry and having to deal with people.

6:45 p.m. — Meal prep finished, and kitchen cleaned, so I reheat some shepherd’s pie I made the other night and sit down to watch another episode of Berlin on Netflix. I’ve spent the past few months renovating my house after work and all day every weekend, so it’s great to get the chance to sit down and watch TV without feeling guilty that I’m not doing work on the house (although there are still things that need doing!).

7 p.m. — See a sale on and treat myself to a new frying pan and saucepan, £24. I get a new mirror for my bedroom that’s reduced, a fitted sheet and some keyhole locks for my doors, £88. I feel guilty making big, expensive purchases for decorative things when I’m used to paying for materials and tradesmen, but these are things I need for the house (or at least I tell myself that). 

7:30 p.m. — I force myself to shower and start prepping my clothes for work.

9 p.m. — Ironing complete, work clothes all laid out and excessive tidying complete. I’m a nervous tidier so I feel a bit better when I’ve had a clean. Sit down to watch another episode of Berlin to calm the mind.

10 p.m. — Head to bed, try and get a decent night sleep before my alarm gets to me!

Total: £112
Day Two

5:45 a.m. — I wake up slightly before my alarm and ponder my life choices for 10 minutes before I drag myself out of bed. I’ve found I can do my makeup and hair for work while catching up on YouTube videos which is always a result, and I manage to eat a bagel before I pack my lunch.

7 a.m. — I set off for work in my car — although it’s only a 10-minute drive, I always end up having to park miles away and walk in through the gale force wind and rain.

7:20 a.m. — Arrive in the office windswept and soaked, ready for a busy day. Set my computer up and promptly turn on my heater (small mercies) to start defrosting while chatting to my colleagues. One of my favourite parts of this job is that I get on well with my colleagues and really like them as people. A colleague kindly offers me some coffee from their cafetière and I throw myself at this to make sure I am ready for the day. 

12 p.m. — I spend the morning clearing my emails, chasing outstanding actions and attending meetings. I manage to find time to grab lunch and reheat my teriyaki chicken and rice, as well as inhaling my cereal bar and fruit.

3:35 p.m. — Spend the rest of my afternoon updating my spreadsheets and reports for my manager to review. I finish work and head back to car to drive home.

4 p.m. — I manage to find parking (result!) and arrive back home, quickly unpack work bag, empty dishwasher, and restore house back to earlier calm.

4:30 p.m. — Tuesday is netball night so I start prepping my dinner and bits for my lunches on Thursday and Friday. H arrived back from work, so I get to hear the gossip from his day.

5:15 p.m. — Dinner prepped, I remove my makeup and change into gym clothes to make sure I don’t find any excuse to not go to netball. I love going but the matches are so late, so I have to wrangle with myself to go.

5:45 p.m. — Throw food in the oven and start another episode of Berlin while I seemingly have time to myself. 

6:30 p.m. — Dinner is ready (red Thai salmon, baby potatoes and broccoli) and my friend L pops over to say hi while she’s back home to revise. We arrange to meet up on Friday evening for a meal and a catch up, can’t wait!

7:30 p.m. — Leave to head to netball. Although my match isn’t until 8:20 p.m., we arrive early to have a catch up and warm up as it’s really cold on the courts.

9:30 p.m. — Arrive home after driving back from our match. While driving, I call A to chat about our usual weekly loss (it’s about the taking part, right?), try not to feel too envious about his holiday activities (sunbathing, cocktails and scuba diving), and hear all about his day. Get into the house and promptly jump in the shower.

10 p.m. — Crawl into bed and hope tiredness overcomes me as I am feeling incredibly awake.

11 p.m. — Sleep.

Total: £0
Day Three

6 a.m. — Alarm goes off so I snooze it for another 10 minutes as I feel very achy. Begrudgingly get out of bed and begin getting ready for work, do my makeup and hair while catching up on a YouTube episode.

7 a.m. — Breakfast eaten, teeth cleaned, lunch packed, and I walk to my car (only a couple of streets over) to set off for work. 

7:20 a.m. — Arrive in work, make myself a cup of tea, turn on the heater and have a natter with my colleague while my laptop starts up.

12 p.m. — I have no meetings in my diary today so I spend the morning scheduling (which I wish I could avoid). Also spend my morning working my way through my snacks and reheat my teriyaki chicken rice for lunch.

3 p.m. — Spend the rest of the afternoon sending emails and finishing up my project proposal documents with some chill music on.

3:45 p.m. — Leave the office and remind myself to head to the garage to fill up my car, £56.60.

5 p.m. — My housemate and I are having dinner together so to accompany the spaghetti, I walk to the shops and pick up some garlic bread, a sharing bag of chocolate buttons and a multipack of Double Deckers, as I have come to resent the healthy version of me who did the food shop last week, £5.90.

5 p.m. — Arrive home, unpack the shopping and spend 10 minutes cramming cardboard into the (rather full) recycling bin.

6 p.m. — Finally change out of my work clothes, unpack my work bag and sit downstairs. Eventually decide to not stare into the abyss and tackle changing the lightbulbs in my light fittings and give the light shades a well-needed clean.

6:15 p.m. — H arrives home from the gym so while he showers, I prep dinner. H then returns so we cook food and have a natter about each other’s day.  

6:30 p.m. — Dinner cooked, gin poured and TV on! Time to settle down for a film and a chill after some busy days.

10 p.m. — Film night complete, time to finish washing up and taking off my makeup before I get ready for bed.

10:15 p.m. — A is back from scuba diving and he sends me all his amazing video footage, so I spend a while watching it all and admiring the turtles.

10:30 p.m. — All settled into bed and remember to set my alarm back an hour as I am WFH tomorrow.

Total: £62.50
Day Four

7 a.m. — Alarm goes off and I appreciate the extra hour I get working from home today. Get myself up, dressed and throw a bagel in the toaster before I sign on.

11 a.m. — Spend most of my morning in a virtual workshop (organiser note: please do them in person) and use every shred of attention I can muster.

12 p.m. — Workshop is complete and I am given some actions, which I distribute to my afternoon activities. Since I’m at home, I make myself a meatball couscous bowl with some peppers and rocket I have in the fridge, and quickly hoover this down. 

4 p.m. — Spend the rest of the afternoon completing my actions from the workshop and finish work a bit after my set hours. As I’m working at home, I don’t mind starting and finishing a bit earlier and later, and my manager is great for letting me flex my time when needed. Decide to brave the rain and walk to the local Post Office to collect a parcel that I was 100% home for.

4:30 p.m. — Parcel retrieved, I return home and quickly change into gym kit to do a home workout. I always like to do something active when I’ve spent the day at home as I tend not to walk as much as I do when I’m in the office, and, as I’ve recently moved house, I haven’t quite sussed out the local gym.

5:30 p.m. — My attempt at a lower body workout is complete so I manage to FaceTime A to have a little chat about each other’s days. Absolutely gutted to hear he has clear sunny skies when it’s raining here.

6:30 p.m. — FaceTime finished, time to jump in the shower and refresh myself before I stare into the fridge to try and figure out dinner. I usually try to plan my meals for the week but sometimes I find I’m too regimented, so I like to try and eat what I fancy that evening.

7:15 p.m. — Start prepping dinner when H arrives. We decide to combine forces and cook a massive chicken and bacon pasta dish which is insane.

8 p.m. — H and I sit down to catch up on the previous night’s episode of The Traitors, and comment on whether the show is the same as last year. 

9:30 p.m. — Start feeling myself drop off so I decide it’s time to get ready for bed.

10 p.m. — Makeup off, teeth cleaned, and I am snuggled up in bed, ready to sleep.

Total: £0
Day Five

7 a.m. — Good morning world! As it’s a shorter day, I tend to work from home, so I get dressed, eat breakfast and log into my computer while the kettle is boiling for a cup of tea. 

9 a.m. — Morning meetings complete, and I hear the doorbell ring which means the carpenter has arrived to finish some bits in the kitchen. Quick natter, make them a coffee and return to the desk.

1:30 p.m. — Sign off work for the day and drive to drop some documents off at the local school that my colleagues and I are supporting as part of our community days. 

2 p.m. — First admin drop complete, now off to collect a cupboard from Facebook marketplace for the bathroom so I can finally store my towels, £5.

2:30 p.m. — Arrive at Aldi to pick up a few bits (bagels, kitchen roll, milk, cheese, salt, pasta, chicken, rice, salt) for £13.32.

3 p.m. — Arrive home and unpack the food shop.

5 p.m. — Suddenly check the time and realise I need to start getting ready for dinner with L. Really excited to see her, just slightly strapped for time!

6 p.m. — L picks me up, ready for a big dinner and a gossip about exams, her life and work. I pay for parking, £3.50.

8 p.m. — My half of dinner (a drink, a pork medallion, potato gratin and a panna cotta for dessert) comes to £18.10.

9:30 p.m. — Return home after a much-needed natter. H informs me that the front door lock is starting to catch which means I need to replace the barrel. I begrudgingly order a new one with a twist lock to save us running upstairs to get the keys when the postman arrives, £11.51. It will arrive sometime next week so I only have to deal with this for a few more days.

10 p.m. — Make up has been removed and my teeth are cleaned, so I promptly send myself to bed as I have an early morning run group that I am trying tomorrow. I’m slightly nervous as I don’t know anyone at the group, but I’m really hoping to meet some lovely people and maybe make a few running buddies!

Total: £51.43
Day Six

7 a.m. — Good morning! Force myself to get out of bed as the run group meets around 8 a.m. and I need to make sure I hydrate beforehand (or else I get a massive stitch).

7:45 a.m. — Set off to the new group, feeling very nervous but excited as I’m hoping this is a good way to meet new people my age.

9:15 a.m. — Run club complete and I’m unsure if I’ll return. The group felt disorganised, cliquey and ended up starting a lot later than it said. I was invited to join for a coffee and bagel at the local cafe after but the wait for food was ridiculous and I didn’t want to pay all that money for food I have at home.

10:30 a.m. — Finally sit down after having a shower, putting a wash on and inhale a bacon and egg bagel with a coffee. Throw on a new episode of Percy Jackson on Disney+ and try to feel proud of myself for being brave enough to try something new today and for running five kilometres.

11 a.m. — Begin a massive deep clean of the house and then finish packing as I’m off to Falmouth this afternoon with my parents to see my sister, M, who is studying at university there. 

2 p.m. ± Manage to load an excessive amount of clothes and bedding into my car for one night. Do some last-minute house checks and then set off to my parents’ house, who live about 30 minutes away.

2:30 p.m. — Arrive at my parents’ and chat to my mum while she’s still packing. Start making tea and have a general gossip about work, the house and what we’ve been up to. Spend a copious amount of time harassing the dog, T, and feeding her biscuits when the parents aren’t looking.

4:45 p.m. — Set off a bit early as Mum needs to put fuel in the van. Somehow she’s left her bank card at home, so I pay for the fuel and a packet of sweets for the road, £32.78.

5 p.m. — Dad meets us at the petrol station after his day of golf and off we go! My sister is at university, so we like to pop down and see her when we can (and she gets to see the dog).

7 p.m. — Finally arrive after a bit of traffic on the road. Quickly change into some nice clothes and have dinner and drinks at a local place which mum and dad kindly cover as I contributed to fuel.

11 p.m. — Head back to my sister’s house to sleep for the night. End up drinking with her student housemates and get into bed at 12:45 a.m.

Total: £32.78
Day Seven

8 a.m. — I wake up and spend half an hour scrolling on my phone before my sister wakes up. I had a lovely evening catching up with her, so we get ready to meet the parents at the beach. 

9:30 a.m. — We arrive at the beach and quickly find our parents and the dog. We all go for a walk which is beautiful as it’s a cold morning, but the sun is rising. 

10:15 a.m. — Find a place to eat breakfast and manage to grab an outside table. Although it’s chilly, it has a lovely view, so we were surprised they had tables. Have a look over the menu and order a full English as I am feeling particularly hungry. 

11:15 a.m. — Finish breakfast, mum and dad pay (result!), and drop my sister back to her house before we start our journey back home.

12:30 p.m. — Stop off in TK Maxx for a mooch. Feel a big set of guilt at the purchases (chopping boards, utensils, decorative ornament, makeup remover and skin treatment) even though I try to justify it, £55.94.

1:45 p.m. — Set off again back home. Take the opportunity to nap in the back of the van as I always struggle to sleep in new places.

3 p.m. — We hit a bit of traffic on the way home but eventually we arrive at my parents’ house. We have a cup of tea and a natter, and I help them unload the van from the weekend.

4 p.m. — Finally decide to leave my dog and wave goodbye to my parents. Jump in my car and set off back to my house.

4:45 p.m. — Arrive at my house a bit later than I hoped, due to traffic. I spend some time unpacking my clothes, putting a wash on and putting my new purchases away. I ponder why on earth I packed like I was going for a two-week holiday for an overnight trip, but I like to cover all my bases. Spend a bit of time distracting myself scrolling through TikTok so this task takes a lot longer than needed but it’s a day of rest and I’m embracing that.

6 p.m. — A wave of hunger takes over, so I quickly throw together a chicken stir-fry to use up some of the veggies that look like they’ve been neglected in the fridge. It’s a big bulky meal which means I hopefully won’t feel hungry, and I use up the veg, so it’s a win-win in my eyes.

6:30 p.m. — Take my dinner and decide to eat on the sofa, so I put on an episode of Fool Me Once which my mum was raving about all weekend. Commit to watching two episodes but I’m not 100% gripped (I will of course force myself to finish the series, but I was hoping for more drama).

8:30 p.m. — Finish watching the episodes and clean up the kitchen before heading upstairs.

9 p.m. — FaceTime A as he is back in the UK and getting ready to return to work tomorrow. He travels quite a bit with work, so even though he lives near me, he spends most of the week away, which is difficult. However, I love the fact I have the weekdays to do my own thing and I’m confident enough to make my own plans and do my own things (like netball and meeting friends) while he’s away. He’s coming back this weekend and I’m really excited to see him, so we discuss what we will get up to when he gets back and plan out the activities.

10:30 p.m. — Realise we have FaceTimed a lot later than planned, so we call it a night and I quickly clean my teeth before jumping into bed. Luckily, I have managed to tire myself out, so I fall asleep quite quickly which is a relief.

Total: £55.94
The Breakdown

Food & Drink: £37.32
Clothes & Beauty: £0
Home & Health: £184.45
Entertainment: £0
Travel: £92.88
Other: £0

Total: £314.65

Conclusion

“On reflection, this was a higher than average spend week for me due to household purchases and filling the car up (which is usually once a month).  Trying to plan my meals for work and the evenings helps reduce my spending on food, which means I can justify eating out socially — I am a foodie at heart and love trying new places. I feel that making lists of things I need and want to buy for the house will help me reduce the guilt I feel when I spend, so I’ll look to do this. However, as I’ve only just got to the stage of being able to decorate my house, most of my purchases are the big one-off costs that I have to spend to make the house feel homey, so although expensive, they are semi-necessary. It’s also important for me to try and socialise when I can as I can often find myself spending long periods of time in my own company (which isn’t a bad thing!). Other than that, I actually really enjoyed tracking my spending and looking at where it’s going (and why), and I’ll try to be more aware of my own relationship with money.”

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

I Wrote A Money Diary While Working On A Yacht

Money Diary: A University Teacher On £52,815

Money Diary: A Secondary School Teacher On £43,000

Take It From Me, The Best Workout Clothes Are Ones You Already Own

$
0
0

A couple weeks ago I was sifting through my drawers, looking for a full gym top. Not a crop top, not a lone sports bra, and not a flimsy pair of sleeves that cuts off at the literal shoulders (i.e. clothes I’ve previously worn to the gym without batting an eye). But after several months away from working out, and growing through grief and mental illness, I have found a steady routine again. What I haven’t found is my old desire to wear my tightest clothes possible to the gym. And, consequentially, the right gym top.

Of the countless micro-trends perpetuated by algorithms and brand marketing, the “gym girl” aesthetic has had a vice grip on us for years. Though the pandemic welcomed a shift towards comfortable fashion, spaces like TikTok have bred more rigid aesthetic rules. What was once an activewear trend has morphed into an aspirational lifestyle driven by consumerism — rather than the actual activities we partake in. We are inundated with “BBL jackets” (zip-up cardigans with cinched waists), controversial (but still popular) waist trainers, layers advertised as “gravity defying” and £60 workout sets to accompany our already pricey gym memberships. 

As a fashion editor, it is my job to let you know what’s trending, suggest brands to shop, and at times, be an unofficial middlewoman between the market and your wardrobe. But I can’t ignore what we’ve all been witnessing, which is an endless cycle towards overconsumption and pressure-fuelled spending. As January comes to a close and the “new year, new you” messaging continues to roll on, I have a not-so-subtle PSA: We simply do not need new clothes in order to work out. And the clothes we wear do not have to be skin-tight.

In that embarrassing moment when I couldn’t find a normal length top for my workout (the two I do have were dirty, okay), I ended up pulling out a regular old T-shirt from a different drawer. It had no sweat-wicking properties, but was equipped with two sleeves and a torso. As it turns out, I did not spontaneously combust, nor was I repulsed by my reflection. I got a good workout in, cleared my mind and proudly displayed my hard-earned sweat stains.

This reminded me of gym classes as a kid, where I was perfectly content in my basketball shorts and baggy tees and there was no required aesthetic aside from comfortable clothes and trainers you could run in. I then distinctly remembered how that changed in high school, when us girls started cinching T-shirts with hair ties and rolling waistbands to shorten hemlines. That suffocating feeling, of wanting to fit in but not really knowing why, is the same one that crops up for me with this pressure to be a certain kind of “gym girl”. The further I’ve gotten into adulthood, the more I’ve understood that clothing is often marketed with bodies rather than people in mind.

In a recent episode of her podcast Say Your Mind, author and activist Kelechi Okafor announced that she is no longer wearing tight leggings and crop tops to the gym. “If I’m perfectly honest, I feel shit when I wear them. I hate them. It doesn’t compliment my physique, I’m not curvy in that way, I’m rather straight in terms of my body shape,” she said in conversation with fashion psychologist Shakaila Forbes-Bell. “I like things to feel soft on me. And [with] the general exercises that I do at the gym I don’t need to wear tight up, tight up things.” Okafor went on to say that she is now choosing to wear soft joggers and loose tank tops instead.

Actress Jameela Jamil has also regularly admonished this pressure to look a certain way while working out, as founder of the podcast and mental health movement I Weigh. In an Instagram post earlier this month, Jamil referenced the typical January fitness content and its explicit links to shame, exclusion and diet culture. “Exercise should be accessible, fun and a daily maintenance practice just like brushing our teeth. But that’s so hard with all the pressure surrounding it. The culture has become so toxic,” she wrote.

Body image and fashion have always been linked, so it’s important to acknowledge how uncompromising aesthetics can negatively affect consumers when they don’t, or can’t, adhere. This especially includes people who are differently abled and need clothes that accommodate their needs, or wear specific religious or cultural dress like hijabs or burkas. It’s similar to the outdated concept of the aspirational “bikini body”. We all have bodies to move, so why must there be a certain way for them to look while we do so?


There may be more pressure to dress a certain way when working out… But on the other hand, if treating yourself to some new gym wear that makes you feel confident and motivates you to go, then that’s great.”

Christina Okenla, fitness trainer and content creator

Anti-trends are also just as common, whether that’s through understated shifts like “normcore”; embracing the mundane side of fashion; or the rise of de-influencing. But regardless of whether a trend encourages us to spend money or not (and let’s face it, all trends are rooted in capitalism by nature) it’s really only up to us to choose the clothes that make us feel good. When we’re figuring out what to wear for the gym, the simplest solution may just be to follow comfort and confidence.

Christina Okenla, a London-based fitness trainer and content creator, tells Refinery29 that confidence is most important when it comes to exercising. “There may be more pressure to dress a certain way when working out [but] I would hate to think that this could be another reason to put someone off of exercising and getting started on their fitness journey,” she says. “On the other hand, if treating yourself to some new gym wear that makes you feel confident and motivates you to go, then that’s great.”

When training new clients or in group sessions (which I attended for a period during the pandemic), Okenla notices that sometimes when clients start off wearing dark, baggy sets, they tend to venture out into brighter colours and new styles as their confidence and strength grows.

As for what she recommends for the technical side of working out, she says a proper sports bra is the most important item. “Something that properly supports your breast tissue, especially if you like to do a lot of high-impact workouts,” she says. “A good sports bra will usually come with adjustable arm and back straps, will have some cushioning and contouring under the breast area.” 

“Appropriate footwear is also very important. A lot of fashion trainers, especially those with high platforms, aren’t suitable for running or lifting, so I always recommend my clients get a pair of trainers just for the gym.” 

So, yes, there are certain technical clothes that will aid you in working out but as Okenla demonstrates, it is far from necessary to buy a whole new workout wardrobe — especially if you’re just getting back to the gym. Perhaps you can embrace a clean slate like me, whether I’m feeling confident in my tight leggings sets, or in my dad’s old baggy T-shirt and a mind that’s ready to clear.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Why I’m Embracing My Boring Outfits Era

How To Unlearn The Stigma Of Outfit Repeating

I Can't Be The Only One Exhausted By Aesthetics

Why Your Period Symptoms Might Be Worse In The Winter

$
0
0

This story was originally published by our partners at The Conversation.

Period symptoms are frustrating no matter the time of year. But some women and people with uteruses might feel like certain symptoms are worse during the winter months, when the weather is gloomy, the days are short and cold and flu seems to always be lurking. This phenomenon has even been dubbed “winter period fatigue syndrome”.

Unfortunately, there’s no evidence that such a thing as winter period fatigue syndrome exists. There’s also no good evidence to suggest changes in the seasons can worsen period symptoms. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t a scientific explanation for why you might feel some of your period symptoms are worse during the colder months.

Symptoms such as fatigue, irritability, poor concentration and a weaker immune system may in fact be pointing to the more obvious cause of iron deficiency.

The body needs iron in order to function. Iron helps produce red blood cells, which carry oxygen throughout the body. But many people don’t get enough iron in their diet. In fact, iron deficiency is the most common nutritional deficiency in the world. 

Alongside the symptoms that iron deficiency can cause, low iron can also lead to anaemia — a fall in red blood cell count. While the symptoms of anaemia can be very similar to those caused by iron deficiency (including fatigue, tiredness, and cold hands and feet), symptoms can be more severe, too — leading to heart palpitations, shortness of breath and even loss of consciousness. 

Menstruation is a leading cause of both iron deficiency and anaemia. People with heavy or prolonged periods are particularly at risk as they regularly lose more blood each month than their body can replace. Some studies even estimate that in women who experience heavy periods, 90% are iron deficient and 60% are anaemic.

People who normally have heavy periods might not realise that this could actually be the cause of their fatigue, irritability and difficulty concentrating. This is because so many women who have heavy periods just assume their blood loss is normal. But left unchecked, heavy periods can leave women and people with uteruses trapped in a vicious cycle of progressive blood loss and iron loss, leading to anaemia, which can be difficult to break. 

And even though many clinical guidelines for managing heavy menstrual bleeding recognise the importance of treating iron deficiency and anaemia caused by excessive blood loss, these conditions are still often missed — despite how treatable they are. 

Symptoms In Winter

Many of the symptoms of iron deficiency and anaemia overlap with other health conditions. This is why it’s important to talk to your doctor as soon as symptoms start to make sure you’re getting the right treatment. For example, fatigue, lethargy and changes in mood can also be symptoms of seasonal affective disorder. This is a type of depression that affects some people only in the autumn and winter. 

So if you find your symptoms began when the shorter days and colder weather arrived, exercise, self-care (such as resting if you need to and getting plenty of sleep each night) and a balanced diet that contains plenty of fibre, cards and protein may help somewhat. Your GP may also recommend talking therapy. 

Certain symptoms of iron deficiency may also seem worse during the winter months. Since iron deficiency affects how well your immune system functions, this could explain why you may feel you suffer from more seasonal illnesses during the colder weather. 

But if you find you have such symptoms all year round — and suffer from heavy or prolonged periods — this may be a sign you have iron deficiency. This will require a trip to the GP to be diagnosed, as well as taking an iron replacement if your doctor recommends it. This should significantly improve your quality of life and symptoms. 

While symptoms of tiredness and fatigue brought on by the cold weather should improve when spring arrives, if your symptoms are caused by chronic iron deficiency these will only improve with proper treatment. This is why you should not attribute fatigue, lethargy and poor concentration to the change in season.

Authors:

Jahnavi Daru, specialist registrar in obstetrics and gynaecology, doctoral research fellow, Queen Mary University of London

Ewelina Rogozinska, research fellow in the Meta-Analysis Research Group, UCL

Varsha Jain, clinical research fellow in the MRC Centre for Reproductive Health, University of Edinburgh

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

"It's Dark For 3 Months": SAD In The Extreme North

Yep, Greasy Period Hair Is Actually A Thing

I’m A Black Girl With Iron-Deficiency Anemia

Sorry, But These 7 Nail Products Are A Scam

$
0
0

All linked products are independently selected by our editors. If you purchase any of these products, we may earn a commission.

From the countless takes on the classic French tip to intricate painting techniques of the Russian, Ukrainian and Italian manicures, it’s safe to say that we’re hooked on nails. While nothing beats a salon experience (and it’s always good to support nail technicians) rising costs means that lots of us are going down the DIY route.

Some products are invaluable to your at-home nail routine; think base coats to prevent nail polish stains and cuticle oil to moisturise your skin and nails, promoting better growth in the long run. Others, however, you can take or leave.

If you’ve ever wondered whether nail hardener actually works, or if you can use any UV nail lamp to cure your gel polish, read ahead. We asked a couple of nail experts to share the viral nail products that simply aren’t all they’re cracked up to be — and their answers might surprise you.

Nail hardener

It’s tempting to pick off gel polish but doing so can weaken the nail. It makes sense that you might gravitate to a nail hardener, thinking that it’ll help reinforce your nails in some way. While “strengthening” formulas tend to contain ingredients which are reparative and beneficial to overall nail health, promoting flexibility and resilience, “hardeners” work by aiming to make the natural nail harder, says session manicurist Ami Streets. “This can impede flexibility, something our nails need to withstand wear and tear.” This, adds Streets, can end up being counter productive and may leave you vulnerable to breakage. “In my opinion the best product to help with strength, length and nail health is cuticle oil,” she says. “Not only does it penetrate to a deeper level to nourish and hydrate nails, but applying this daily with a massaging motion helps stimulate circulation and promote growth, too.”

R29 rates Mii Nourish & Nurture Cuticle Oil, £15.50, Mavala Cuticle Massage Oil, £9.10, and Nails Inc. Vit C Please Cuticle Oil, £8.90. Also try OPI Repair Mode Bond Building Nail Serum, £29.90, which acts like scaffolding for brittle nails without making them hard.  

Nail polish dryers

Whether you’re impatient or just super busy, nail artists understand the allure of investing in a portable nail polish dryer, but they’re a waste of valuable space. According to Streets, using quick dry products like drops or sprays are much more effective when it comes to speeding up drying time. essie Nail Care Quick Drying Drops Nail Polish Treatment, £8.99, Barry M Drop & Dry Quick Dry Drops, £4.99, and OPI Drip Dry Lacquer Drying Drops, £16.60, are all great options, as is Mavala Mavadry Nail Polish Dryer Spray, £15, if you find dropper bottles a little too fiddly to use with freshly painted nails.

“Clean” nail polish

Streets has seen a steady increase in the demand for natural formulations in all aspects of beauty, especially when it comes to nail health and manicures. Enter the trend for “toxin-free” or more commonly “clean” nail polish. Streets associates the latter with being “free from certain chemicals and non-toxic ingredients”. She believes such products offer gentler formulas. This could be beneficial if your nails are very thin (for example, you regularly peel off your gel polish or get hardcore manicures) and tend to become sensitised by nail polish. 

Here’s the thing, though: The word “clean” in regard to beauty is unregulated. In other words, it has no official meaning and there are no laws, regulations or rules. In theory, anyone can use the phrase to describe nail products. When it comes to our fear around certain chemicals, experts agree that it’s the dose that makes the poison. Before a product comes to market, it must have a Cosmetic Product Safety Report (CPSR), which studies all of the ingredients inside. This report looks at how frequently you might use the product, and examines the exposure site and levels of the ingredients. In fact, the law states that the UK must adhere to very strict cosmetic safety regulations, and formulas are studied by qualified toxicologists. Put simply, you can rest assured that nail polish sold at reputable retailers is safe to use. 

Ridge-filling base coat

Lots of things can result in bumpy and ridged nails, like manicure technique (for example, using nail drills), vitamin deficiencies (like protein, vitamin A, zinc and calcium), hormonal changes and potentially even picking your cuticles. If ridges are bothering you, you might consider investing in a ridge-filling base coat to create a smoother surface for nail polish, but nail artist and content creator Sadie Jordan thinks that their effectiveness depends on how severe the ridges are. “If you have shallow or very minimal ridges, these base coats can easily fill them in and provide you with a smooth, even base before you apply colour,” says Jordan, but if your ridges are a bit deeper, a base coat like this might not cut it. Instead, Jordan suggests opting for a higher viscosity product such as builder gel (BIAB) to resurface the nail plate and enhance your natural nails.

Streets finds ridge-filling base coats to be of a much thicker consistency than regular bases, which in her opinion makes layering nail colour a much longer process. “It can also impede dry time and mean the longevity of the manicure is affected,” says Streets. “This is because densely painted layers of polish are more prone to chipping.” Instead of a ridge-filling base coat, Ami says that gently buffing the natural nail plate is a much more effective way of smoothing the surface texture to ensure an even base for painting. “I would only recommend ridge-filling base coats as an option to clients who may have particularly thin or sensitive nails when buffing isn’t a viable or suitable option,” says Streets, “for example, following chemotherapy treatment or while taking medication.”

This is not to say that a traditional base coat is redundant. “I’d recommend the use of a base coat,” says Streets, “not only for added protection when using strongly pigmented colours, but to get the best, long-lasting and most professional-looking finish from your manicure.”

Nail whitener

Jordan says that nail whitener — a product typically used to reduce staining on nails — is controversial among nail experts and manicure enthusiasts. Streets suggests this is because some formulas can contain harsh astringents. As a result, prolonged wear time or over use could dehydrate nails or lead to damage, says Streets. To that end, “it’s important to choose as mild a formulation as possible or even use a more natural solution such as lemon juice mixed with water,” adds Streets. She says that soaking your nails in this way can help with any staining, but if you’re feeling impatient, discolouration can be removed effectively by lightly buffing the surface of the nail. “Just ensure a gentle touch and follow up with cuticle oil to nourish and moisturise the nail plate,” says Streets.  

“Universal” UV nail lamps

When it comes to gel nail lamps, each one has a specific wattage that determines the strength of the UV or LED bulbs it hosts, says Jordan. But she adds that lamps that are labelled “universal”, which suggests they can cure most gel polishes, can be very misleading. There are many different products out there and each one has a different requirement. If the gel polish isn’t cured properly and comes into contact with your skin, there is a risk of developing an allergic reaction, which could loosen nails, and cause a red, itchy rash, not just on your hands but anywhere else you might have touched with wet gel nail polish. 

Streets advises using a complete nail system of products with a gel nail lamp that corresponds to the brand of polish you like. “Gel products are specifically tested and created for use with certain strengths of LED or UV lighting to ensure instructions on cure time are correct,” says Streets. “Following guidelines closely and using proper application and removal techniques will minimise the risk of heat spikes, allergic reactions and sensitivities to gel manicures.” Her top tip is to always go to a reputable qualified nail technician, as doing your own gel manicure at home is more likely to leave you open to complications. 

Metal nail files

There’s a common misconception that metal nail files and other nail tools are more effective than others. While they might be more durable than emery boards and wooden cuticle pushers, Streets thinks they’re outdated and “super damaging for natural nails.” She adds, “Most of the tools in these kits are not of a great standard or sharpness, either, meaning they’re not particularly effective for a great manicure.” Try a glass or crystal nail file instead, like Leighton Denny Crystal Nail File, £13, Margaret Dabbs London Crystal Nail File, £15, or Boots Glass Nail File, £4, if you’d rather spend less.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Do You Have “Nail Privilege”?

The 9 Nail Colours That Go With Everything

“Gel Strip” Nails Are Replacing Salon Gels


Salary Story: I Had Three Job Offers, But Didn’t Negotiate

$
0
0
In our series Salary Stories, women with long-term career experience open up about the most intimate details of their jobs: compensation. It’s an honest look at how real people navigate the complicated world of negotiating, raises, promotions and job loss, with the hope it will give young women more insight into how to advocate for themselves — and maybe take a few risks along the way.

Been in the workforce for at least five years and interested in contributing your salary story? Submit your information here. Published stories receive £100.

Age: 27
Location: London
Current industry and job title: Digital health, operations manager
Current salary: £50,000
Number of years employed since school or university: Six

Starting salary: £18,000 in 2017
Biggest salary jump: £15,000 to £24,000 in 2018
Biggest salary drop: £18,000 to £15,000 in 2018

Biggest negotiation regret: I honestly disclosed to a company I used to work for the salary offers of not one, but two competitors that had offered me roles. My company at the time only went above the other offers by £2,500. I realise now I showed my hand too soon. My company were desperate to keep me and I did not play this to my advantage! I should have negotiated more.

Best salary advice: It’s not just about the salary — it’s sometimes about the experience you gain and the benefits you receive too. Especially as you get taxed quite heavily the further you go up. At some points in your career it can be worth the sacrifice for the actual role itself. 
Being a pharmacist was not for me, it felt like being a glorified Amazon warehouse packer, with targets and the relentless boxes of medicines and abuse from the general public. I wanted a complete change of direction but had no direction.
I then spent a few months working for a startup. Suddenly everything felt less serious and my mental health started to look up — even with a pay cut.
I was struggling financially on £15,000 a year. My take home was a little over £1,000 a month and I was next-level broke. It was time for me to look for my next role.

I had zero confidence in myself, but the interviewer at this role actually ended up offering me a job role that was a step up in seniority over the one I’d actually applied for! So that meant a £2,000 on-the-spot promotion, as the original role was £22,000.

I was working hard and making a big impact at work. I was also handling tasks and projects solo that only managers were working on. It became awkward that I was earning so much less and my manager was incredible and asked the people team for my raise. I didn’t even ask for the raise! I feel like that one was a bit of a fluke.

I was starting to think about moving from the company for more experience. It was just before the pandemic and I was applying to other roles. I was offered two really exciting roles and there was a bidding war from the £30,000 salary to £35,000 maximum offer. I went back to the company I worked for and they counter-offered £37,500. By the time I’d had the counter-offer, COVID-19 started to seem a lot more concerning and I chickened out of the move and stayed put.
I was getting a reputation in the business for being able to handle the difficult and complex projects and had a knack for how the product worked. With my clinical knowledge and my operational knowledge, I successfully interviewed and moved teams via a promotion. The interview didn’t feel as intimidating, as I’d vaguely met the hiring manager through other projects.
I’d ridden out the worst of the pandemic and at the first sign of it calming down, I was ready to risk it and jump ship. I found the role through LinkedIn and it was again for another startup right at the beginning of its journey. This role had many hoops in the form of interviews and presentations to jump through before finally receiving the offer. It was definitely worth sticking with the process as I felt like I really understood the role I was getting myself into. This time I made sure I understood the salary banding before sharing my salary expectations which led to being at the top of the projected banding.

I got promoted, with the same duties, just with more responsibility. I was happy with the increase.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Taking An £18k Pay Cut Was The Best Thing I Did

Threat Of Redundancy Made Me Bounce Back

Best Career Advice From R29’s Salary Stories

The Deepfakes Of Taylor Swift Prove Yet Again How Laws Fail Women

$
0
0

Content warning: This article includes references to nonconsensual image abuse. 

This week, X (formerly known as Twitter) was inundated with disturbing AI-generated images of Taylor Swift. At the time of writing, the origins of the images aren’t entirely clear, but what is clear is that the creation of deepfake pornography is incredibly psychologically damaging, abusive and controlling of women. And that it’s time the law catches up with the times.

It’s not the first time something like this has happened, too. Only a few weeks ago, Xochitl Gomez, the reigning Dancing With The Stars champ who plays America Chavez in the Marvel universe, spoke out after discovering sexually explicit deepfake images of her on Twitter, which she tried to have taken down to no avail. She is just 17 years old. “This has nothing to do with me. And yet it’s on here with my face,” Gomez said on a podcast about the incident. “Why is it so hard to take down? That was my whole thought on it, was, ‘Why is this allowed?’”

The rise in deepfake technology is problematic, especially for women: One report from Sensity AI found that 96% of deepfakes were sexually explicit, while 99% of them feature women. While the internet and rise in technology has always felt particularly loaded for women with the rise of online sexual harassment or distribution of revenge porn, the deepfake arena seems like it’s been built on one thing — to rip women of their sexual and bodily autonomy.

While much of the deepfake discourse has focused on “fake news”, hoaxes, or cheating at school, the reality is that the unregulated use of the technology is incredibly concerning, especially for women. It’s essentially a virtual assault on women, who now realise that by even uploading a photo of themselves on Instagram, they might be subjected to an online attack where their face is the weapon.

NBC News found that nonconsensual deepfake pornographic images were among the first shown when searching for celebrity names and the term “deepfakes”. But it’s not just celebrities who are victims. There have been multiple reports of men creating AI-generated pornographic images of women they know in real life and, in some instances, boys circulating AI-generated images of their female classmates. It’s a new way to deploy gender-based and sexual violence — this time, from people’s own homes.

Most states have banned revenge porn and its distribution, but when it comes to AI-created pornographic images, people are seemingly on their own. There are no current federal laws that tackle deepfake porn, which means the ability to bring criminal or civil charges is extremely difficult, especially considering the breadth, reach, and anonymity of the internet. Despite the psychological and emotional effects the technology has on women, there is nothing that actually prohibits the act, and perpetrators are still free to generate — and distribute — whatever deepfakes they like.

X’s policies ban the sharing of “synthetic, manipulated or out-of-context media that may deceive or confuse people and lead to harm,” but the images of Swift were viewed millions of times before they were finally removed — and some might argue that they wouldn’t have removed them if it weren’t for one group.

While legislation and social media platform moderation have failed us, women have simultaneously proven that the only way they can protect themselves from deepfake video distribution is by uniting themselves. In the hours after the images began circulating on X, Swifties were quick to create their own campaign — #ProtectTaylorSwift — and flood the platform with positive images of the singer. It was here that they began a mass-reporting campaign — and only then were the images taken down. In a statement posted on its platform, X said it was “actively removing all identified images and taking appropriate actions against the accounts responsible for posting them… We’re committed to maintaining a safe and respectful environment for all users.”

The incident has sparked renewed calls for legislation banning the creation and distribution of deepfake porn, and reportedly Swift may consider legal action. But what’s clear from these images is that if one of the most powerful women in the world can be subjected to sexual harassment and abuse via deepfake technology, what hope do the rest of us have? Women’s faces can being manipulated in images and superimposed into porn videos, but they don’t have rights the way the laws stand now. Someone flashing their nipples on social media will be immediately taken down, but sadly, disgusting AI-created images with real women’s faces on them won’t be until real action takes place.

If you have experienced sexual violence and are in need of crisis support, please call the RAINN Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Atrioc Deepfake Porn Scandal: What Happens Legally

No, Revenge Porn Is Absolutely Not "Free Speech"

Paris Hilton's Sex Tape Has Caused Lasting Trauma

Your Horoscope This Week: 28th January to 3rd February

$
0
0
ILLUSTRATED BY SUCHET INUTHAI

As we enter the week, Uranus, the Planet of Surprise, is spending its first full week direct in the sign of Taurus. Uranus will still be in its post-retrograde shadow period for the next several weeks, but we’ll collectively feel less anxious this week, especially as the energy from the Leo full moon begins to wane. 

This week is ideal for confronting the disruptions and changes we’ve been experiencing ever since Pluto entered Aquarius on the 20th. Be honest about what you like and don’t like about your current life path, and be courageous enough to make the necessary adjustments. The moon spends time in Virgo, Libra, and Scorpio this week, so the collective themes have to do with adding structure, balance and emotional sensitivity to our lives. You’ll end the month of January on a reflective and love-oriented note, and you’ll begin February feeling supercharged with dynamic energy as the Scorpio moon harmonises with Mercury and Mars in Capricorn.

Read your horoscopes for your sun and rising signs for the most in-depth forecast.

DashDividers_1_500x100

Aries Sun & Rising:

Aries, now that the Leo full moon’s energy is waning, you’re reflecting on ways to add more fun and spontaneity into your life. If you had a serious mindset for most of January — especially since your ruler Mars is currently in Capricorn — give yourself the chance to break out of your typical routine as January comes to an end and February begins. Go on an impromptu road trip, play hooky from work, send that risky text to your crush. Aquarius Season wants you to remember that life is meant to be lived to the fullest. 

This is also Uranus’ first week direct in Taurus, activating your sector of money and self-esteem. You’re in the mood to create greater financial stability in your life, which means slowing down enough to track your spending and saving habits, and making adjustments as needed. With Jupiter, the Planet of Luck, currently in this sector of your chart too, you have four more months to prioritise your financial growth, so make this a fun part of your daily experience rather than viewing it as a burdensome responsibility.

Taurus Sun & Rising:

Taurus, now that Uranus has ended its retrograde in your sign, you’re going to feel more confident, capable, and loved than you have these past five months, when both Uranus and Jupiter were retrograde. This is your period of re-emergence, and if there’s anything that last week’s Leo full moon taught you, it’s to boss up and take your life journey seriously, because the Universe wants to see you succeed. Spend time this week mapping out a game plan for what you’ll be focusing on in February — no planets will be retrograde that month, allowing you to move full speed ahead on your passion projects. 

The Moon’s transits through Virgo, Libra, and Scorpio this week highlights your sectors of creativity, health, and relationships, so these are likely to be the main themes in your life as January comes to an end and February begins. You’d benefit from allowing your imagination to run wild without expectation, and also from committing to a wellness regimen, perhaps with an accountability buddy by your side. You’re motivated to improve every aspect of yourself, inside and out — make sure to pace yourself in the process.

Gemini Sun & Rising:

Gemini, last week’s Leo full moon activated your communication sector and awakened you to moments when overthinking got the best of you. It’s time to break free from self-perceived limitations, and this is the week to do so. If you have a presentation to pitch or a cause to defend, get on your soapbox and let the world hear what you have to say. With your planetary ruler Mercury currently in Capricorn, you’re speaking with authority and confidence, and this will help you get ahead. 

This is Uranus’ first full week direct in the sign of Taurus, which highlights your sector of spirituality and healing. This is your sign to let go of any grudges you may be consciously or unconsciously holding on to, even if you thought you had previously released them. The energy of the full moon will continue to be felt this week, making this process of release easier and softer for you, especially since Pluto, the Planet of Transformation, is in your fellow air sign of Aquarius. Let go breath by breath.

Cancer Sun & Rising:

Cancer, now that the Leo full moon has taken place in your sector of money and security, you’re entering this week with a more abundant and strategic mindset. Forgive yourself for past money mistakes you may have made, and have the courage to start over with a clean slate, especially now that Pluto, the Planet of Transformation, is in Aquarius, highlighting your sector of outside resources and merging. This is an ideal week to create a financial roadmap that you’d like to follow this year, and commit to sticking to it. 

With Uranus, the Planet of Surprise, spending its first week direct in Taurus, you’ll be in the mood to fine-tune your friendships as well as your relationship to social media. If you’ve dealt with frenemies lately, it’s important to not resort to passive-aggressive behaviour, but to set firm yet loving boundaries so that you can protect your peace and your energy. Let go of so-so relationships so you can call in enriching ones. 

Leo Sun & Rising:

Embrace this new era you’re stepping into, Leo. Now that your annual full moon has taken place, you’re feeling like a caterpillar that’s morphed into a butterfly. But what to do with your new set of wings? That’s what you’ll be reflecting on this week. You have a blank canvas on which to paint your dream life, and it’s up to you to allow yourself to go after what you really want — even if the Moon-Pluto opposition that recently occurred may have prompted you to feel more indecisive or moody than usual. 

Fortunately, now that Uranus, the Planet of Change, is direct in your fellow fixed sign of Taurus, you’ll notice that feelings of restlessness or indecision start to wane in the coming weeks. The key is to ride the waves of change — especially now that Pluto is in Aquarius, another fixed sign — rather than resisting them. Accept the fact that you’re no longer the same person you were six months ago, Leo. You’re evolving beautifully.

Virgo Sun & Rising:

Virgo, Uranus’ shift direct in your fellow earth sign of Taurus has felt soothing for your nervous system, especially since your planetary ruler Mercury is currently in Capricorn until 5th February. We may be entering a period where the element of air is taking over, but having Uranus, Venus, Mars, and Mercury all currently in earth signs is helping stabilise your mind, allowing you to think long term. If you can, take a break from your usual work routine as the month of January ends, and go on an escapade somewhere to clear your mind and truly evaluate your most pressing priorities. 

The energy of the Leo full moon still lingers through the cosmos and through your subconscious mind this week. Your spirituality sector was activated by this lunation, so you may still be finding it hard to let go of what you know is no longer meant for you. Give yourself grace as February begins, especially since you’ll have another opportunity to practice letting go when the full moon takes place in your sign at the end of February. Trust that everything is operating on divine timing, and be your own best friend right now. 

Libra Sun & Rising:

Libra, as the week begins you’re still taking in the cosmic downloads from last week’s Leo full moon, which stimulated your sector of friendship and tech. You may have called out anyone in your life who seemed to be opportunistic, and you also checked yourself to make sure you weren’t judging others if you yourself were displaying similar traits. Self-honesty is essential right now, especially since your planetary ruler Venus is in Capricorn, a sign that’s all about living in accordance with one’s values. End the month of January re-aligning yourself with your core values, and making sure your actions are following suit. 

Uranus spends its first week direct in your fellow Venus-ruled sign of Taurus, meaning that you may decide to look at your life from a more practical and passionate perspective as we near the start of February. If you were living in la-la land and ignoring your key responsibilities lately, Uranus’ shift direct will reorient you toward what’s most essential. Your sector of depth and outside resources is activated by this transit, so these next seven months are ideal for forging meaningful collaborations and financial partnerships with people who want to invest in you and contribute to your growth. 

Scorpio Sun & Rising:

Scorpio, no one knows how much you’ve been going through these past few weeks, because you’re so good at hiding it. Last week’s Leo full moon may have also led to you unconsciously putting on a mask and avoiding vulnerability in order to remain “strong”. But deep down, all you want is cuddles and love… And in order to receive what you want, you have to let down those tough walls you tend to place around your heart, as a self-protective measure. You have to allow yourself to be vulnerable. You have to make sure you’re not using work or productivity as an escape from facing your deepest feelings, especially now that Pluto, one of your planetary rulers, is squaring off (creating astrological friction) with your natal Scorpio sun. Face yourself and your life fully. 

The good news is that Uranus, the Planet of Surprise, spends its first week direct in Taurus, which activates your sector of partnership and marriage. If you’ve been going through a rollercoaster emotionally when it comes to love, dating, romance, and healing from past wounds, things are about to start to feel more stable and positive in the coming weeks, as Uranus makes its way out of its post-shadow period. The key is to get clear about what you really want from love, and be honest with yourself about if you’re willing to put in the work to receive what you claim you want. 

Sagittarius Sun & Rising:

Sag, as the week begins you’re taking in the fiery energy from last week’s Leo full moon, which activated your sector of expansion, media, and long journeys. Anything that has to do with being public-facing and sharing your ideas via a large platform is encouraged for you to take part in this week. You’re feeling enlightened by Pluto’s newfound presence in Aquarius, activating your sector of communication and helping you speak your truth without fear or limitation. 

Now that Uranus is spending its first full week direct in Taurus, your sector of wellness and service is activated for the next seven months, making this an ideal time to start a new fitness routine or pick an old one back up. The key is to remain consistent and disciplined, and since Mars, the Planet of Action, is currently in Capricorn (along with Mercury and Venus) in your sector of self-esteem, you’ll have the drive and motivation to commit to feeling great physically and internally.

Capricorn Sun & Rising:

Capricorn, as the week begins you’re feeling the influence of the Leo full moon, which occurred in your sector of outside merging. This week you may receive an opportunity to collaborate with someone on a passion project that matters a lot to you. Check in with how your body feels in response to this news — if you feel energised and excited, then it’s a sign to go for it. But if you feel strong sensations of doubt or skepticism, it’s a sign to slow down and read the fine print to make sure this isn’t too good to be true. With Mercury, Venus, and Mars all in your sign right now, you have the clarity it takes to make a solid and mature decision. 

Now that Uranus, the Planet of Surprise, is direct in your fellow earth sign of Taurus for the next seven months, you’re in the mood to express yourself creatively and stop taking life too seriously. This may be easier said than done, as the Capricorn energy in the cosmos could lead to you putting more pressure on yourself to get your life together. But Uranus’ shift direct is here to remind you that life is about more than just work… At the end of your life, will people remember the countless promotions you received, or will they remember the way you decided to let your inner child lead and make life a work of art? It’s up to you to decide how to allocate your time so that you’re feeling balanced. 

Aquarius Sun & Rising:

Your birthday season keeps going strong, Aquarius. Now that the energy from the Leo full moon is waning, you’re likely to want to spend time with people who have been your ride-or-dies. Last week’s Leo full moon revealed the people who didn’t have your best interests at heart, and you may have had to cut the cord with them (this process may still be ongoing, so be patient with yourself if you haven’t fully released unhealthy relationship dynamics). The space that you cleared out last week is leading to the right people and opportunities entering your life this week and in coming weeks. 

You’ll also feel greater momentum in your daily affairs due to Uranus, one of your planetary rulers, now being direct in Taurus — a fellow fixed sign. Your more bossy and temperamental side may emerge this week, but it’s likely because you’ll have an inspiring idea for how to revolutionise your life and your career path, and you’ll want to get started on it asap. With no planets retrograde for all of February and March, you have the green light to take leaps of faith and bring your dreams to life, just make sure to pace yourself in the process or else you may suffer from burnout.

Pisces Sun & Rising:

Pisces, you’ve made it through the Leo full moon in your sector of health and wellness. This week you’ll be paying attention to the messages and signals you’re receiving from your body. If you’ve been overworking yourself or allowing stress to get to you, spend time indulging in self-care as much as you can. Book yourself a massage, take a mental health break, indulge in your favourite herbal remedies. You’ve been experiencing quite a number of shifts lately, and it’s essential for you to process the change that you’re going through without succumbing to distraction or escapism. 

This is an ideal week for letting yourself create works of art, just for the sake of it. Uranus is direct in Taurus in your sector of communication, and this harmonises with your Pisces nature, allowing you to ground yourself in tangible activities such as pottery, gardening, drawing, songwriting, and dancing. The more you allow yourself to let loose without restraining yourself, the more free and fulfilled you’ll feel emotionally and spiritually. 

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Your Horoscope This Week: January 21 to 27

Your 2024 Career Horoscope Is Here

Your 2024 Love & Sex Horoscope Is Here

8 Women On How They Bounced Back After Being Made Redundant

$
0
0
Redundancy can be one of the most stressful things that can happen to you in your working life. The blow to your confidence, as well as the hit to your finances, can trigger emotions such as hopelessness, anxiety, panic, shock and denial. Unfortunately, many of us will experience redundancy at some point in our careers. And with the ongoing cost of living crisis and high inflation, that likelihood feels higher than ever right now.

It may be difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel just after you've been handed your P45, but remember – it isn't your fault. You may be hurt, disappointed – even angry – and probably panicking about how you're going to pay your rent, but there might be a silver lining.

Being laid off can be an opportunity for change, growth and new beginnings. It can open your eyes to possibilities that you may never have considered had you stayed in your current role. That side hustle you've been putting off for so long? Career change? Why not start now?

Below, eight women – who preferred not to share their surnames – who have been made redundant describe their experiences, and how they all bounced back...

*Some names have been changed to protect identities.

The story was originally published in January of 2022 and has been updated.
Vicky, 31

I had just turned 30 when I found out that I was being laid off and the online magazine I loved – and was deputy editor of – was to close. Being called into a room and told that all this was to end was incredibly sad. Nothing prepared me for it.

It's easy to take these things personally but my mum gave me the best advice: "This is just business." It wasn't about me, it was a business decision being made by a huge global company.

It felt like a horrible break-up but after two weeks of agonising over it I decided to take the plunge and take redundancy. I was in shock for about a month but I picked myself up and took my career to the next level. In many ways, it was the best thing I ever did even though it was fucking terrifying at the time.
Anna*, 26

My first redundancy knocked my confidence as I always thought there had to be something wrong with me to be let go, rather than identifying it as an industry issue. It was tough and I worried about how I was going to pay my bills.

At the time I was miserable and earning a pittance. I felt emotionally abused at work. I always brushed over how bad it actually was because I needed to stay in the job to pay rent. But when I was made redundant, it was a real moment of clarity.

It helped me deal with my next two redundancies better and I was able to separate myself from the situation. It's a horrible thing to happen and can affect anyone but in hindsight it was for the best.
Judy, 34

I'd been working for a startup for over six years when they started talking about a restructure. I took redundancy instead of reapplying for my role. I was terrified as I hadn't been out of work for 11 years since I graduated and the pay barely covered me for a month.

It was emotional and one of the most stressful experiences of my life. I wasn't sleeping, and my family were worried about how I'd financially cope. I suffered some of the worst anxiety and panic attacks of my life.

But I knew it was the right thing to do. I wasn't happy and it would have been like staying in a relationship you just know isn't working. And I'm so proud of everything I've done in the last six months – all my freelance work, writing for the biggest media companies and brands, connecting with new people and diversifying my skill set.

My redundancy taught me to be braver. Throwing myself out of my comfort zone tested me, but now I worry less when a new opportunity comes along and I think it's given me more confidence. If I hadn't made the leap I would have been stable but unhappy, and not learning anything new.

Stephanie*, 28

A couple of years ago I was made redundant. It came one Friday afternoon and it hit me like a ton of bricks. The words "We're letting you go" don't really sink in until you're alone in your room at night, trying to fix your CV with tears falling down your face.

My redundancy made me realise how unhappy I was with my job. I didn't realise it at the time but it was having a huge effect on my mental and physical health. I became apathetic, uninterested in anything and stressed. But life goes on. Employment comes and goes. You begin to realise you need to be selfish.

I can happily say I'm content. Being laid off was the best thing that happened to me because it taught me resilience, to be selfish and to go after what I want in life.
Fani*, 26

I was told my role was at "risk of redundancy". I knew what was coming. As I left the office, I felt like I wanted to cry – not because I was sad but because I was relieved. I hated that job and I was relieved that I could leave the toxic environment and do what I wanted. I said to myself: It’s done now, I’m finally leaving. The question was, where did I want to go?

I decided to go freelance, which has opened so many doors for me. It's been nine months since my redundancy and I couldn't be happier with my decision. It gave me the push I needed, helped me face my insecurities and build my confidence again.

It’s been the highlight of my career and pushed me in the right direction. I’m certainly still stressed and anxious but at least it’s by my own rules.
Emma, 27

The news that redundancies were coming wasn’t a shock – in the two years that I’d been in that job we’d been through three ‘restructures’ as a team.

One person from my team was going to be made redundant, and I decided to put my name forward for voluntary redundancy as I felt stuck in the role. It was a decision I did not take lightly, but when I got confirmation via a Zoom call that my request to be made redundant had been accepted I felt very mixed emotions. I was relieved in one sense, but scared because now it was real. There was no going back and frankly I had no idea what was coming next. I also felt guilty because I knew my colleagues had no idea and were adamant about fighting this. And of course, I was a little bit upset – there was a part of me wanting them to say "no you’re too valuable to lose".

I remember apologising a lot to the colleagues I was close to, and spending some nights crying but then others celebrating. It was really dependant on the day. After my last day I went away for a weekend to just rest and recuperate.

I found out in September and fought to work my notice period essentially giving myself four extra weeks. That way, I knew I’d get a salary for October, my redundancy package (which was the equivalent of one month's salary) in November, and I was due to have some money coming back into my account following a failed trip earlier that year due to COVID-19 in December. So financially I knew I was covered for three months and could refocus on what it was I wanted to do next.

It’s just over three years now since I was made redundant, but it’s the best decision I could have made. Since then I’ve had the opportunity to work freelance for companies I had only dreamed of (still more on the bucket list though) and progressed in my career a lot quicker than I had ever imagined. 
Marty, 29

I was made redundant while I worked as a manager at a PR agency. At the time of redundancy, I had been there for a year and a half. It was very sudden and the reason we were given (as there was a few of us) was "due to shifting some things around" – so not really a reason.

To be honest, I was unhappy in the job and had one foot out the door already. I cried immediately after it happened and about thirty seconds later, I realised it was probably for the best because I loved the people I worked with and would’ve stayed just for them, and not because I liked the job. At the point of redundancy, I had just been offered another role, but wasn’t 100% sure about leaving so it gave me the push I needed. I would’ve probably still been there if not for it.
Kate, 29

I'd only just joined a travel communications company when COVID-19 hit and travel was obviously one of the industry's worst effected.

Nine months into the role, I was made redundant. My main concern was my London flat share rent, as I had very little savings to tide me over. Also, as I'd been at the company for less than two years I didn't get any redundancy pay.

Everything felt a bit scary at that time but I kept the mentality that so many people were going through far worse, plus I had a strong network of friends and family for that emotional support. I was able to apply for universal credit to help with my rent and bills whilst looking for more work. Being in a tricky situation added some fire in my belly so I started emailing companies offering my freelance services. This involved a lot of working for nothing at the beginning, but this all helped to grow the business I have today, KF Comms. You reap what you sow!

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

The Reality Of Working With Your Best Friend

How To Deal With Being 'Left Behind' At Work

Why “Being Professional” Can Feel So Humiliating

The 15 Best Matching Tracksuit & Lounge Sets To Live In Year-Round

$
0
0
As much as we love playing dress-up and diving headfirst into the latest fashion trends, there’s no denying the magnetic pull of a matching tracksuit or lounge set. They’re cosy, they’re comfy, and — when made with quality and care — they’re built to last.

Toeing the line between sporty athleisure and polished co-ords, tracksuits are the ultimate shortcut to looking casual yet put-together. Throw one on when you can't be bothered to style an outfit or when tackling a week’s worth of chores in a few hours. Working remotely and need to feel slightly more “dressed” than your pyjamas? Problem solved. And on travel days? Tracksuits are the MVP for curling up on chilly flights. Bonus: You can break up a set and wear each piece separately, unlocking endless mix-and-match potential for those moments when you actually want to plan an outfit.

If you’re ready to retire those ratty, holey joggers that have seen you through countless duvet days (no judgment — we’ve all got that pair), consider yourself covered. Ahead, discover 11 top-quality, stylish tracksuits and lounge sets from retailers we love and trust. Whether you’re looking for lightweight, breathable cotton co-ords for warm weather or weighty, more structured layers for winter hibernation mode, you’ll find your new go-to right here.

All linked products are independently selected by our editors. If you purchase any of these products, we may earn a commission.

Lululemon



Our Senior Writer, Venus Wong, swears by this internet-favorite Lululemon set for travel. The plush fleece fabric, thumb holes and deep pockets make it ideal for staying cosy on early-morning flights.

Lululemon Scuba Oversized Full-Zip Hoodie, $, available at Lululemon

Lululemon Scuba Mid-Rise Wide-Leg Pant Regular, $, available at Lululemon

Pangaia



Pangaia brings bold colours and conscious materials to your downtime style.

Pangaia 365 Midweight Hoodie - Jade Green, $, available at Pangaia

Pangaia 365 Midweight Track Pants - Jade Green, $, available at Pangaia

Free-est at Free People



We’re long-time fans of Free People’s loungewear and activewear offerings (especially FP Movement and Free-est), and this lightweight knit set is a standout. Available in 16 colours, from easy neutrals to super-saturated shades, it’s perfect for everything from summer heatwaves to snuggly winter days spent under a blanket.

free-est Malibu Solid Trouser Co-Ord, $, available at Free People

Daily Practice by Anthropologie



Anthropologie's Daily Practice label delivers casual loungewear with an elevated feel. This set caught our eye with its voluminous, barrel-shape joggers, offering a bolder fit.

Daily Practice Drawstring Hoodie, $, available at Anthropologie

Daily Practice Zola Joggers: Printed Edition, $, available at Anthropologie

Alo Yoga


Alo is best known for its yoga attire and workout sets, but its sweatsuits are equally on-point. Refinery 29 Fashion Director Irina Grechko recommends this set (which she has in both grey and white) for peak cosy vibes.

Alo Yoga Accolade Crew Neck Pullover, $, available at Alo Yoga

Alo Accolade Straight Leg Sweatpant, $, available at Alo

Aritzia Sweatfleece



Our go-to for wardrobe basics has loungewear that "lounges" better than most. The Cosy Fleece fabric feels like you’re wrapping yourself in a cloud, while the oversized fit keeps you snug as a bug all season long.

Aritzia Cozy Sweatfleece Perfect Crew Sweatshirt, $, available at Aritzia

Aritzia Cozy Sweatfleece Perfect Hi-rise Mini Short, $, available at Aritzia

Carbon38



Soft and elegant, this set features thick brushed fabric that feels luxe yet pliable — never stiff — with a polished look that rivals your favourite tailored separates.

Carbon38 Drapey Knit Sweatshirt in Interlock, $, available at Carbon38

Carbon38 Tapered Leg Jogger in Interlock, $, available at Carbon38

Everlane



Black is anything but boring in the case of this half-zip and barrel-leg jogger combo. Toss on a baseball cap and trench coat, and you’re serving model-off-duty vibes.

Everlane The Laid-Back Half-Zip Sweatshirt, $, available at Everlane

Everlane The Laid-Back Sweatpant, $, available at Everlane

Girlfriend Collective



Girlfriend Collective’s inclusive sizing (XXS to 6XL) and eco-friendly fabrics (made with 71% recycled plastic bottles) are the top two reasons we love the brand. The loungewear is number three, soaring to the top of our most-wanted list. This sweatsuit is not too heavy, not too light — it’s just right.

Girlfriend Collective Thea Detachable Hoodie, $, available at Girlfriend Collective

Girlfriend Collective Millie Straight Leg Sweatpant, $, available at Girlfriend Collective

Mate The Label



Made with 100% GOTS-certified organic cotton, Mate The Label’s loungewear is eco-friendly without sacrificing style.

Mate The Label Organic Fleece Oversized Sweatshirt, $, available at Mate the Label

Mate The Label Organic Fleece Relaxed Pocket Sweatpant, $, available at Mate the Label

Abercrombie & Fitch



Everyone loves Abercrombie’s jeans and party wear, but the activewear and loungewear deserve a shoutout, too. Crafted using neoKNIT (a special material made from layers of sweat-wicking neoprene), they’re thick but soft — just the thing for your next hot girl walk.

Abercrombie & Fitch YPB neoKNIT MAX Half-Zip, $, available at Abercrombie & Fitch

Abercrombie & Fitch Essential Sunday Sweatpant, $, available at Abercrombie & Fitch

Nike



Looking for an elevated take on the classic tracksuit? Nike’s always bringing the ‘90s classic vibe with crinkled fabric, bold colourways and boxy, oversized fits.

Nike Women's Woven Jacket, $, available at Nike

Nike Women's Mid-Rise Open-Hem Trousers, $, available at Nike

Spanx



Slip into this dynamite Spanx sweatsuit with its ultra-soft, airy fabric, relaxed fit and bold red hue — a dreamy mix of comfort and style.

SPANX AirEssentials Half Zip, $, available at SPANX

SPANX AirEssentials Wide Leg Pant, $, available at SPANX

Under Armour



Sporty but in a sleek, minimalistic way, we love these lightweight tearaway tracksuit bottoms from Under Armour. Pair with the coordinating tank top for an effortlessly cool look that takes you from the gym to brunch with ease.

Under Armour Women's UA Unstoppable Fleece Sleeveless, $, available at Under Armour

Under Armour Women's UA Icon Crinkle Tear-Away Pants, $, available at Under Armour

Vuori



Vuori's lounge-meets-activewear options are made from the softest DreamKnitfabric (a brand signature). With a relaxed fit, moisture-wicking properties and four-way stretch, they do the most (in a chill sort of way).

Vuori Halo Modern Full Zip Hoodie, $, available at Vuori

Vuori Performance Jogger, $, available at Vuori

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

16 Cosy Loungewear Styles For 24-Hour Comfort

The Best Sustainable Loungewear Brands For Spring

7 Comfy & Stylish Travel Outfit Ideas

Viewing all 20479 articles
Browse latest View live


<script src="https://jsc.adskeeper.com/r/s/rssing.com.1596347.js" async> </script>