The trailer for The Searchers, John Ford's 1956 epic Western starring John Wayne, describes its protagonist as follows: "It's John Wayne as Ethan Edwards, who had a rare kind of courage. The courage that simply keeps on and on, far beyond all reasonable endurance, never thinking of himself as martyred, never thinking of himself as brave. Here is the story of a man, hard and relentless."

Those words basically sum up every role Wayne played over his five decades in Hollywood, and as a result, cemented his take on one of America's most enduring and masculine symbols: the cowboy.

But what happens when that cowboy can no longer just grit his teeth and be a man? Who is he then?

That's the very question in The Rider, Chloe Zhao's gorgeous docudrama about a young rodeo champion Brady Blackburn (Brady Jandreau) who suffers a traumatic head injury that leaves him unable to ride. The film explores the aftermath of the incident, as Brady seeks to forge an identity apart from the one he's spent his entire life pursuing.

It's a premise that would be fascinating on its own, made all the more so because it's all rooted in truth. None of the main cast have ever acted professionally before, with Jandreau, his father Wayne (Tim Jandreau), and sister Lily (Lily Jandreau), who has autism, all playing exaggerated version of themselves in a story based on real events.

Zhao, who was born in China but studied film in the United States via London, met Jandreau while filming her first film, Songs My Brothers Taught Me, in the Pine Ridge Reservation in South Dakota. " I've been to many rodeos," she said in an interview with Refinery29 prior to the film's April 13 US release (UK release September 21). "I've seen a lot of young cowboys. There's something about their lifestyle and who they are that interested me. The sport that they're participating in is so close to their way of life. So, I can really talk about a place by telling their story. I just was hanging out on a ranch, and I met Brady, and I thought I discovered a young Heath Ledger or something."

Zhao was pondering how to build a story around Jandreau when reality did it for her. In 2016, Jandreau was thrown from his horse during a rodeo. His skull was crushed, and the doctors warned him that getting back on a horse could be fatal. Zhao's film chronicles Brady's recovery and his deep sense of loss as he realises he needs to reexamine what it means to be a man now that he can no longer walk in John Wayne's boots.

It's a delicate portrayal that feels entirely new: the female gaze applied to a symbol of toxic masculinity. Because while there have been female-driven westerns ( Godless), some even directed by women (Natalie Portman's Jane Got A Gun, Courtney Hoffman's Good Time Girls, and Susanna White's Woman Walks Ahead, which will premiere at Tribeca later this month), it's still rare for a female filmmaker to take on the traditional male cowboy narrative.

The director stresses that she had no desire to make a grand statement when she first embarked on the project. "It was just a human connection," she said. Still, she does think that her being a woman impacted the final product.

"The female gaze is the individual gaze of each female filmmaker," Zhao explained. "I think you have to be very specific to be universal, and that's why it's very important to zoom in on your own personal experience and your own personal gaze."

That gaze is perhaps most evident in the way that the film handles its female characters, none of which are typecast in the role of Brady's love interest, or as a sexy rodeo side-attraction in Daisy Duke shorts. In fact, aside from Lily, the one constant female presence in Brady's life, there are very few women in the film, reinforcing the feeling of this very male world that Brady feels he no longer fully belongs to.

"This is really a love story between a cowboy and his horse," Zhao said. "When you generalise a gender, when you make films through that kind of gender landscape, it's not going to be an authentic portrayal. "

That reluctance to play to type is perhaps why the film has been so-well received since it premiered at Cannes in 2017 (the same year Jessica Chastain criticised the lack of female storytellers), also garnering four nominations at the Independent Spirit Awards. But in a way, Zhao's journey to make this film as a woman director struggling to tell a different type of story than what's usually prescribed mirrors Brady's arc.

"There is a pressure for female filmmakers — the dominant machine is male, and the kinds of things they're looking for, the kind of cinema that's been there, is male," she said. "Just having enough women be successful doesn't necessarily mean we're changing how men and women are portrayed in movies. If you just enter a house that's already built, you're going to follow its rules. We have to build other houses, and climb into each other's windows."

If The Rider is any indication, Zhao has a promising career in construction ahead of her.

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You might recognize the name Erdem Moralioglu as the fashion designer who has dressed Kate Middleton, Meghan Markle, and Michelle Obama. NBD. And unless you count his previous collaboration with H&M, you probably never thought you'd have the chance to wear a Moralioglu original. But you might be wrong about that.

This spring, he partnered with NARS to design and curate a floral-inspired makeup collection full of rich jewel tones, vivid pinks, and gorgeous metallics. This 13-piece range includes eyeshadow palettes, blush, lipsticks, highlighter, and blotting papers — all in fairytale packaging you won't want to keep in your makeup bag. If you think spring shades are generally one big pastel snooze, you might actually be tempted to call this floral lineup groundbreaking.

The designer tells Refinery29 that his vision for the collection came from a photograph of an '80s icon. "A starting point for my inspiration was this amazing photograph of Molly Ringwald taken by Sheila Metzner for Vanity Fair in 1984 where she’s surrounded by exotic flowers," he explains. "I was thinking about this idea of a strange flower and I wanted to create a range of makeup that had an ethereal and slightly surreal beauty to it." And that he did.

Click through to check out the entire NARS Strange Flowers collection.

The range will be available exclusively from 15 April at Selfridges, and in the rest of the UK from 1 May.

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With myriad factors to consider, it's difficult enough deciding where to rent a property, let alone choosing the right place in which to buy somewhere. The stakes couldn't be much higher.

For some people, it's all about the location, location, location, while for the vast majority of us, property prices are the most important thing. The mind boggles at how momentous a decision it must be for the small proportion of young people who can afford to put down permanent roots.

If you're hoping to join them soon but can't decide where to buy your first place, you'll be interested in a new ranking that names the best UK cities and towns for first-time buyers.

The research, by Furniture Choice, takes into account four metrics – average house prices, the difference in cost between a first property and subsequent properties, average salary and unemployment rate – meaning it's more useful than rankings that solely take into account prices. These metrics were based on interviews with first-time buyers, who revealed the most important factors to them when they were searching for their first home.

The verdict? Pendle in Lancashire is where it's at, apparently, with the typical first home costing just £87,769, subsequent homes costing 27% more on average, and a strong average salary and employment rate.

Burnley and Hyndburn, also in the northwest, ranked in silver and bronze position, suggesting that those of us wanting to create permanent homes should consider moving to – or staying in – the north of England, rather than the Midlands or the south.

The 10 best UK cities and towns in England for first-time buyers

1. Pendle (61/80)
2. Burnley (59/80)
3. Hyndburn (58/80)
4. Barrow-in-Furness (53/80)
5. County Durham (50/80)
6. Knowsley (50/80)
7. Stoke-on-Trent (49/80)
8. Rossendale (42/80)
9. Copeland (41/80)
10. Blackburn with Darwen (40/80)

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“I could buy designer, but this Fashion Nova fit all that ass,”Belcalis Almanzar rapped on the song “She Bad” off her debut album Invasion of Privacy. Of course, we expected the rapper to shout out the Instagram-friendly fast-fashion brand: Not only did she flaunt the label in her latest music video, but she constantly shows Fashion Nova love, wearing many of its pieces, including a pair of jeans shorts she styled with an Altuzarra jacket and a vintage Green Day concert tee to her album release party last week. Now, Cardi is getting “schmoney” with the brand — and we're not talking about #sponcon.

On my way to my listening party for #invasionofprivacy wearing my favorite @fashionnova denim!!

A post shared by Cardi B Official IG (@iamcardib) on Apr 5, 2018 at 6:09pm PDT

In an interview with Apple Music Beats 1, she spilled the beans that she’s designing a line with the clothing label. “With Fashion Nova, they gave me the opportunity to design what I like and what I want to put out,” she told host Ebro Darden. “I’m going to put out a line with them, a little something-something for the fall. It’s going to be crazy because it’s what I like.”

“You know one of my passions is fashion,” she explained. And while both Fashion Nova and Cardi B are keeping the details under wraps for now, we’re hoping this collaboration is a maternity (or bridal!) line to follow the plus-size range the retailer introduced in early 2017. “They’ve been rocking with me from the beginning,” Cardi tells Darden. “Fashion Nova is big, and I know that a lot of people cannot afford expensive ass shit so everything is going to be affordable. I want people to look good and to look high-end with a good budget price and that’s the perfect opportunity. I’m excited for that.”

Fashion Nova is just as pumped for the collaboration as Cardi B. “She’s part of the family, Richard Saghian, founder and CEO of Fashion Nova tells Refinery29. “Cardi’s been wearing Fashion Nova for years, before her music career took off,” he continued. “We’re so excited for this next chapter and our new collaboration. She’s been hands-on in designing every aspect of the collection. I think our customer will be very impressed.”

According to an official release, "Cardi has spent numerous hours innovating designs, creating new silhouettes, and translating high-fashion looks into affordable pieces, with help from the Fashion Nova team and her own creative team, power stylist Kollin Carter." The fall/winter 2018 collection, which will feature 80 to 100 pieces (including "denim, dresses, and outerwear"), will be available on FashionNova.com and at the retailer's fie Southern California store locations in October.

Cardi continues to put on for the regular, degular, shmegular girls, reminding us, once again, that there is no one working as hard as she is.

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In my makeup bag there is an arsenal of tools which I use to tear down the patriarchy. In my makeup bag there is a bunch of cremes, potions, poly-filler and over-the-counter drugs that allow me to cross an overbearing gender binary.

In my makeup bag is the hardware which allows me to finally live my childhood fantasies. In my makeup bag is a lifeline to an expression of my gender that saved my life – that saves so many people’s lives. In my makeup bag is a history book, connecting me to the radical queens, queers, butch dykes and trans folk who fought for me to be able to paint my face the way I want to paint it. In my makeup bag there are thousands of tricks for me to cover the scars of my teenage acne, or the slice on my nose from a homophobic attack which has never quite healed. I love the scars in some ways, but having the devices to cover them allows me to dictate their mark upon me.

In my makeup bag there are missing pieces and extra bits — given, received, shared in the round between my drag sisters and me, like heirlooms, reminding us of each other whenever we use them. In my makeup bag there are hairs which stick to the sides, cut from the long hair of a drag king friend and stuck to make a beard while leaning over my makeup box. In my makeup bag there’s self-care, a kind of self-care that not only nourishes you but makes you omnipotent, even if just for a night.

In my makeup bag there’s an ode to the women who gave me a femininity to explore, but not to parody (that’s just terrible, lazy drag). In my makeup bag there’s jewellery given to me by my friend Amnah who was so desperate for me to be kinder to myself that she found things to make me sparkle.

Indeed, there are a lot of things in my makeup bag. And while it’s so easy to talk about colours, powders, primers and highlighters with a Zoella level of soullessness and irrelevance, makeup to me – to many of us – is not an extravagant stockpile of excessive frippery, but something which gives us power. In a world where that power is only taken from us, makeup is a tool which allows us to draw our battle lines and give so much power back to ourselves. It’s a secret language, misunderstood and disregarded by boring dudes who think makeup is "gay/for gays", which allows us to communicate with each other silently or with floods of Facebook messages about Kat Von D’s new matte lipstick, as evidenced by 70% of my conversations with my friend Sadhbh. (For the other 30% we talk about radical queer politics and are currently asking each other whether femme-centric spaces are doing enough to accommodate butches.)

With all this in mind then, how does one construct the perfect face to encompass all these (intense) emotions and meanings? Time, pain and rejection help. But a light appears eventually, and it’s your face.

I start my routine with a smoothie, which I throw in the trash in front of someone in gym wear because it makes me feel good. Then I have a Full English, by which I mean the various sausages of the men on my rotation. After this I prime — I prefer MAC Strobe Cream because I want to blind my enemies. I spend a while thinking about how Ayn Rand has a lot to answer for, before taking MAC Full Coverage in NW24 and smearing it generously all over my gender non-binary face to conceal the fact that I’m actually Holly Valance. Top time- and energy-saving tip: Get a makeup artist.

Next I pop on Cher’s masterpiece Closer to the Truth as I approach mine. I wonder when she’ll age, then make the sign of the cross in worship to her, the queen of all drag queens. I contour, but only because my real face is too sculpted — so I, as they say in Italian sculptural history, "de-sculpt xoxo" (translation slightly off). I use MAC obviously, because they sponsor my face and also insure it.

After this I go to The Ritz for an hour or so and coax the signatures of old men from the 1% onto their wills, which are now all for me — girl gotta eat. Then I head home in their Bentley and do my eyes while thinking about late-stage capitalism. Next I tweet Diane Abbott and tell her she’s a legend, and after this I stick glitter all over my beard because it’s simple and effective. I spend some time worrying about the environmental impact of glitter but then get infuriated that the gays can’t have anything. I keep going with glitter. And finally I draw on a lip, a big brown faded lip. I have a bunch of cigarettes and possibly a Babycham because I’m on a health kick. And then I kiss myself in the mirror and tell me that I love me.

Me. My makeup bag is not for anyone else. It’s very much for me, as yours is for you. People question (much like they question drag) whether the act of wearing makeup is anti-feminist; I think the answer is in the reason we do things. For so many of us, makeup is about choice, about allowing yourself to choose how the world sees you. The same can be said for not wearing makeup, especially if you’re expected to by society. It gives us agency over our image, which the world is so intent on distorting and abusing.

Above all, in my makeup bag is a kit which allows me to create an illusion which is closer to the truth than most people ever get. Because while people bandy about terms like "fake", I think choosing how you want to look is, polar oppositely, the definition of authentic.

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Great news for anyone who likes to raise a glass (or two), the home bar is now a must in any discerning drinker's home. The rising cost of, well, everything means more millennials than ever are shunning the expense of overpriced cocktails in crowded bars and rediscovering the joy of fixing themselves a drink for an evening in.

A home bar is so much more than somewhere to shove that bottle of peach schnapps you've been hoarding since your 21st. Zoe Hodson, a senior home buyer at cult homeware repository Anthropologie, says: "Whether it is housed in a purpose-made cabinet, on a vintage-inspired trolley, or just a moment on a sideboard or shelf – the home bar is a space for little rituals of entertainment or that well-earned treat." Where collapsing on the sofa with a mug of lukewarm wine feels like an anticlimax, taking the time to craft your favourite cocktail in a chilled martini glass is an act of self-care.

If you do want to add the old-school elegance of a home bar to your living space, it can be hard to know where to start. Our homes are getting smaller and more expensive and the glamour of a home bar might seem a world away from the reality of a crowded house-share or a shoebox-size studio.

So we decided to do the hard drinking work for you and searched out the essentials you'll need. From where to store your bottles to the perfect glass to raise in celebration, we've got everything you'll need to shake up a storm. Cheers!

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I thought I knew what a hangover was. I’d splashed vomit down the side of enough cabs. I’d eaten bread in the shower. I knew the delight of laying a clammy cheek on a cold paving stone in broad daylight.

But that was before. Before I experienced what I now know as a hangover. Only once you’ve allowed a toddler to draw on your belly with a Sharpie while you work through waves of nausea do you understand the purgatory of a real hangover; the mum hangover – the result of trying to prove to yourself and others that mum's still got it.

"The first time you go out and do something social after having a baby, it’s like flexing a new muscle for the first time, so you can go in a bit hard, it’s not even something most women have an awareness they’re doing." I’m talking to Maisie Hill, a highly praised women’s health practitioner and doula. "Also when you first go out as a new mum, it’s hard to stop thinking about your child because your body is flooded with hormones that keep you bonded to your baby. Alcohol can soften those bonds, allowing you to switch off."

Society frowns on mums drinking; as a woman you’re either childless and up for it, or a mother.

"Many women find themselves asking, ‘Who am I as a mum?' versus 'Who am I as a woman who can go out and be social?'" Maisie is explaining why the conversation around alcohol and mums feels so loaded and why when mothers drink they feel intense guilt. "Society really frowns on mums drinking; as a woman you’re either childless and up for it, or you’re a mother. As soon as you have a kid you’re expected to be someone else, to be pure, to always be present for your children. Pregnancy is meant to have switched off a large part of you, but it’s not that black and white, and why would we just switch off who we are because we’re mothers?"

"I’d be lying to myself if I said I would be happy never partying again," Zoë de Pass, better known as @dresslikeamum, tells me. "I love to party, I loved it before becoming a mum and I haven’t changed. It’s a myth that you become a different person, you don’t, you just have more responsibility. But being pregnant and sober has taught me one thing – that I can go out and have a good time without drinking."

For lots of women, pregnancy is their first real stretch of sobriety. So entrenched is drinking in our culture, it’s often the absence of a glass of wine that lets people know you’re pregnant, which when you think about it, is an odd way to tell the world that you’re having a baby. Giving up drinking, and the socialising that goes with it, is a huge lifestyle change. You have to stop the moment you see those two blue lines; no wonder alcohol becomes so intrinsically linked to your old self.

I was excited to socialise ‘properly’ again after having my son, but I realised that drinking once you have a baby is just not the same as before. The hangovers are worse, life just too relentless for recovery. And you turn to alcohol for different reasons – to feel like yourself, to switch off the mum voice, to get through the goddam day. But the weirdest thing about drinking again is the strange pseudo terms mums have for drinking. I learned this new language through NCT WhatsApp groups and from the memes that slowly filled my Facebook feed post-birth. ‘Gin o’clock’ and ‘Fizzy Fridays’ are said very casually with no irony. I’ve found that drinking is almost fetishised in the mum community; it’s never just wine, it’s ‘Mummy’s little helper’ or 'deserved'.

"The whole wine o’clock thing symbolises to me how unconnected and unsupported we are as mothers," Maisie says. "In caring for others, often our own basic needs aren’t met; you don’t get enough sleep, you skip meals. The idea that other people are having a drink at the same time as us, that we’re part of a collective of women who understand and are doing the same thing, can be comforting."

A post shared by Billy & Iris (@billyandiris) on Apr 11, 2018 at 12:13am PDT

I take the topic of ‘wine o’clock’ to the brilliant Michelle Kennedy, founder of Peanut, an app that helps connect like-minded mums. She tells me about a question one mum asked on Peanut, titled "Wine to unwind?" The post read: "Anyone else absolutely exhausted by the end of the day and not sure how to unwind? By the time I’ve got out of the door, dropped [my son] off at school, gone to work, collected him and done bedtime, the only thing I want to do when my partner comes in is crack open the wine. Is it ok to be drinking wine every night? Anyway, sometimes I feel it’s just me in this endless routine."

Michelle and I go through the responses together and every single one is in favour of the wine. "It’s just the mummy way," one woman replies; "Girl you’re fine, you’ve got a lot going on, you aren’t neglecting your child, drink that wine, you just need some me time," says another. It seems that because we know society heaps a decent serving of judgment on mums who drink, mums actively support other mums who like a glass of wine. I love that the conversation on Peanut isn’t judgy, as I’ve seen too many Mumsnet forums descend into nasty attacks on any mum who so much as hints at having a vice, but the infantilised language – 'Fizzy Fridays' and 'Hurrah for gin' – bothers me. I feel very uncomfortable baby-talking to the drink in my hand. It is not 'Mummy’s helper', it’s just a glass of prosecco. And you know what? That glass of prosecco isn’t a totem for the woman I used to be either.

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We travel for many different reasons. For some of us, it’s a chance to reset our mind and body. For others, it’s a thirst for adventure. For AJ Odudu however, it’s a desire for something completely different that gets her out of the city and onto planes, trains and automobiles to unexplored destinations.

For her latest trip, she’s headed to the Cotswolds for a spot of escapism. On the surface it might not seem like an obvious destination for a millennial weekend away, but hold on a second there; the Cotswolds is a wellness HUB. Follow AJ as she tries out the latest trend of forest bathing (yep, it's a thing) with Ian Banyard from Cotswold Natural Mindfulness, a raw food cookery workshop with Jay Halford at Foodworks Cookery School, treehouse-hopping at Oakdown Treehouse and even a bit of singing with the locals…

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Dear Daniela,

I love colouring my hair, and I’ve been quite a few different shades, but I find it really hard to keep my colour looking fresh. It loses its shine so quickly. Colour is really expensive and it’s so frustrating to spend so much money for it only to last a few weeks before the colour turns dull! What can I do?

Stella, 28

There are lots of things in beauty you can scrimp on. Mascara, for one – I always find Max Factor and L’Oréal Paris perform just as well as designer brands. Sheet masks are another (they have superficial effects at best, so why cough up for some obscure niche brand when Dr. Jart does the trick?). Oh, and hairspray. If there’s a better hairspray on the planet than Elnett, I’m yet to find it. However, I always think it’s best to pay a little more for your hair colour if you can. Wherever you go, your colourist should give you a full consultation, carefully studying your hair type, history and routine before reaching for the foils. Nine times out of 10, this sort of service will be a little more expensive, but you do wear your hair every day.

For example, if you want a pop of colour but can’t afford (fiscally or routinely) regular salon visits, your colourist should take that into account and give you something with minimal regrowth. Been box-dyeing your hair since you were 13? If your colourist doesn’t even ask about your hair history, please hang up your gown and walk away, because goodness knows what could happen when they put the bleach on. The same thing goes for colour fade – a lot of it is down to miscommunication between the client and the colourist.

I called my longtime colourist, Jenny Richards, at FOUR London to ask her advice: “Seeing colour fade within two weeks means something’s not right. We wouldn’t expect to see real fade for at least six weeks.” Hair colour is a huge process, and especially if you’re seeing a new colourist, it’s really important that they take a full history from you. “With blondes going brassy for example, it’s usually down to a colourist not taking into account the current condition of the hair, how it’s responded to colour in the past and the natural undertone of your hair underneath any dye,” said Jenny. My nonna always tells me: “You can lie to your priest because God knows the truth, but you must be honest with your doctor.” I’d extend that to your hairdresser, too – please tell them what your natural hair colour is and just how much abuse it’s been through. They’re there to help, not judge, and keeping mum on your hair history is a recipe for disaster.

Moralising aside, here’s what you came for. First up, blondes. Jenny’s taken my hair from Neapolitan brown to Norwegian blonde over the years, and always warned me off any shampoos that claim to ‘revive blonde hair’. “I’m wary of those kinds of shampoos because quite often they actually have some colour pigment in them. While that sounds like a great idea, it will just tamper with your professionally applied colour and more often than not lead to random colour deposits over your head. I’d prefer my blonde clients to use a gentle purple shampoo.” She also name-checked La Biosthetique Couleur Shampoo Crystal 0.7 for bleached and blonde hair, noting that it was good for keeping out yellow tones, while keeping the hair hydrated.

If you’re a bottle redhead and often feel your colour vanishes faster than the good prosecco at your work drinks, you’re not wrong. “The red hair molecule is larger than other colour molecules, so it doesn't penetrate the cortex of the hair as deeply as other colours do. Therefore, since it isn't as deep, it can wash out easier,” explained Jenny. “Clear vegetable glosses are fantastic to keep the hair looking glossy and shiny for all hair colours, but redheads might find them especially useful. At FOUR, we tailor a bespoke vegetable colour for any client who wants them to use at home to brighten and refresh colour. They’re really popular with my redhead ladies.” If you need something off the shelf, Rita Hazan, who colours the hair of Beyoncé and J.Lo, has a brilliant at-home range. Try her Rita Hazan True Colour Ultimate Shine Gloss, but be sure to buy the clear to avoid the aforementioned colour deposit thing.

As for brunettes, your best bet is using a good sulfate-free shampoo and conditioner, and investing in at-home gloss, or asking for one in the salon. Jenny recommends Kérastase Bain Chromatique Shampoo & Conditioner for all shades of coloured hair, and Olaplex No.3 to keep the hair strong and healthy.

I understand that after forking out for salon colour, buying salon-brand shampoo feels like adding insult to injury, but you’re essentially rinsing all the money you just spent down the drain if you don’t use the right products. “Sulfate-free is the main thing. Harsh shampoo will only strip your colour aggressively,” added Jenny.

I think it’s also worth mentioning that heat attacks your colour as well as your hair texture, so always use heat protection when styling your hair – even with rough drying. “Modern hairdryers get super hot, which is great for speed drying but can be very harsh on the hair,” Jenny noted. It’s also key to properly rinse your hair, with shampoo, after swimming in a pool or the sea to remove chlorine and salt. Pools are probably the worse of the two, as the copper in the pipes can make blonde tones go green, but a build-up of saltwater ain’t great either.

Good luck!

Daniela

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Got a question for our resident beauty columnist Daniela Morosini? No problem, qualm or dilemma is too big, small or niche. Email deardaniela@refinery29.uk, including your name and age for a chance to have your question answered. All letters to ‘Dear Daniela’ become the property of Refinery29 and will be edited for length, clarity, and grammatical correctness.

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People are tweeting in protest against Theresa May's likely decision to involve the UK in US military action against Syria.

On Saturday, a suspected chemical weapons attack in the previously rebel-held city of Douma killed more than 40 people, the BBC reported. Donald Trump seems ready to attack, tweeting on Wednesday that missiles "will be coming", although it's unclear when. On Thursday morning Trump said cryptically it "could be very soon or not so soon at all".

The prime minister today summoned the cabinet to discuss whether or not the UK will join the US in its military response, and it is believed she may be willing to go ahead without the backing of MPs, who are away from Westminster until next week, reported the BBC.

Many people on Twitter are outraged at the thought of UK involvement in the attack, with the hashtag #NotInMyNameTheresaMay trending countrywide on Thursday morning.

In a poll by Twitter user Rachael Swindon, posted just before 9pm on Wednesday, more than 86% of the nearly 22,000 people who had voted by Thursday morning said they were against air strikes.

So Theresa May admits she's not sure who's behind the awful chemical attack, but she's going to bomb Syria anyway, without the backing of Parliament. This is about to be the start of a very tragic chapter in our history. Complete and utter madness. #NotInMyNameTheresaMay

— Rachael (@Rachael_Swindon) April 11, 2018

Just over 9,000 votes in a few hours. Currently 86% are opposed to Theresa May committing to dropping bombs on Syria. https://t.co/FSLM2hTn0z

— Rachael (@Rachael_Swindon) April 11, 2018

Here is a sample of some of the tweets employing the hashtag to protest so far...

No mandate from public or Parliament, no UN resolution, no genuine investigation of facts, no serious plan for what comes next for people in Syria; the UK govt has no authority to follow Trump into a possible confrontation with Russia #NotInMyNameTheresaMay pic.twitter.com/Q1Popu8KQa

— LeanneWood 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 (@LeanneWood) April 12, 2018

If as is expected, the US re-enters the Syrian conflict...and Theresa May disgracefully and arrogantly follows them without democratic process... it will cost her. Rational population see through irresponsible recklessness and faux steeliness #NotInMyNameTheresaMay

— Paul Smith (@Paul_Smith82) April 11, 2018

@theresa_may how dare you? How absolutely dare you. You are a weak PM with a very weak majority and blood already on your hands. You will get a fight, but not with Syria. You'll get a fight back from within. #NotInMyNameTheresaMay

— Suz Roffe #NHSLOVE 🇬🇧🇪🇺 (@sue_roffe) April 11, 2018

When the most enthusiastic people wanting to Bomb Syria are Donald Trump, Boris Johnson and Dan Hodges, that should be a sign that this is a seriously bad idea with no longer term plan. #NotInMyNameTheresaMay

— 🇰🇷Shlomo🇨🇷 (@hapoelpolitics) April 12, 2018

They say it’s necessary to cut my school’s funding but the money appears out of thin air when they want to go to war in the Middle East. #NotInMyNameTheresaMay

— Hasan Patel 🌹 (@CorbynistaTeen) April 12, 2018

Many tweets drew parallels between potential action in Syria now and the Iraq war, with some suggesting UK involvement in the country could trigger mass protests akin to those against Iraq in 2003.

British people: “Remember #Iraq. Do NOT bomb #Syria”.

Theresa May: “I can’t hear yooooo”!#NotInMyNameTheresaMay#FFSStopVotingTory pic.twitter.com/GqMhl9nz5u

— russjackson (@docrussjackson) April 11, 2018

I was 12 when Iraq kicked off. I knew it was a mistake then. I know action in Syria is a mistake now.

My enemy is not Syria. My enemy is the Tory government. #NotInMyNameTheresaMay

— Man Like Mike 🌹 (@19MF91) April 11, 2018

Have we learned nothing from Iraq??...This Isn't Thatcher and the Falklands..You won't be lauded..

So agree to inspectors going in and stay out.. #NotInMyNameTheresaMay

— Simon T James (@SJT78508478) April 11, 2018

#NotInMyNameTheresaMay

We will Occupy central London if you take the U.K. to war against Syria.

We will bring central London to a standstill @theresa_may

— Janet (@JanetHughes04) April 11, 2018

I was at the Iraq protests in London 15 years ago. I will do whatever it takes this time to oppose any British involvement in another preposterous, foreign intervention. #NotInMyNameTheresaMay

— Richard Thomas (@RickyThomasblog) April 11, 2018

Stop the War Coalition has already announced a 'Don't Bomb Syria' protest due to take place outside Downing Street on Friday 13th April from 5pm.

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As we know by now, there's a lot of dubious health advice on the internet – on every topic, including sleep. We know about the importance of getting a decent night's kip, but there's an abundance of quacks and sleep 'gurus' who love to espouse bogus information.

New research confirms many of us are buying into it, putting trust in a string of myths about sleep, according to a survey from bed brand Sealy of over 1,000 people. According to the study, almost half (45%) of us are compromising a good night's sleep as a result.

Most of us should probably be getting more sleep, with 32% of British people admitting they sleep poorly, so this is serious business. These are the most commonly believed sleep myths that should be put to bed once and for all.

Yawning means you're tired

Wait, what? Some smart alec always tells us to get a better night's sleep when we yawn in public and, indeed, most people (60%) believe yawning means we're tired. Scientists don't know exactly why we do it, but many believe it's the body's way of cooling down our brain, enabling it to work at its best. Mind blown.

You need less sleep as you get older

More than half (53%) of people believe that the older you get, the fewer hours' sleep you need. Older relatives and neighbours may make a habit of picking up their paper at 7am every day, or staying up 'til the early hours listening to Radio 2, but actually, our sleep patterns don't generally change much as we age. While we may struggle to get to sleep as we get older, scientists still recommend we get seven to eight hours over the age of 65.

You can "catch up" on sleep

Most people (52%) also mistakenly think you can make up for a lack of sleep one night by sleeping for longer later on. While some studies have shown repaying your sleep debt on weekends after losing out on sleep during the week can be beneficial, others suggest that weekend lie-ins could increase your risk of heart disease. So it's probably best not to make a habit of it.

Other common sleep misconceptions, according to the research, are that more sleep is better for you (56%) (in fact, research suggests it could increase your risk of dying early); that exercising just before bed helps you sleep better (50%) (when in reality it could affect some people's sleep quality); and that drinking alcohol before bed sends you off into a deeper sleep (28%) (when actually it makes your night's sleep worse overall).

Here's the list in full...

The most widely believed (but incorrect) pieces of sleep wisdom are:

Yawning is a sign of tiredness (60%)
We need eight hours of sleep every night (59%)
More sleep is better for you (56%)
The older you get, the fewer hours' sleep you need (53%)
You can always catch up on sleep (52%)
Exercising just before bed helps you sleep better (50%)
Going to bed early always helps you sleep better (42%)
You train yourself to get by with just four hours of sleep (39%)
Watching TV or using an electronic device helps you drift off (35%)
Eating cheese before bed will guarantee nightmares (28%)
Drinking alcohol before bedtime ensures you sleep deeply (28%)

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Whether you have a handful of close friends or a full-blown Taylor Swift-esque squad, your friendships are important. It isn't just about having someone to brunch with (though that's important, too). Research has shown that your friends, provided they're good friends, can be great for your health.

But, if you've graduated college, moved to a new city, or have generally gone through a lot of recent life changes, it's normal to find that your friend group has started dwindling. Vera Eck, MFT, an Imago relationship therapist in Los Angeles, says that post-grad life can be a perfect storm of chaos that leaves friendships at the wayside.

"Making friends past college is difficult because you are no longer with your cohort," she says. "College is an instant social scene with people your age, sharing your common interests. Once you graduate from college, that whole network is gone, unless you make an effort to keep it going."

And, even if you didn't go to college, chances are, you're going through a lot of life changes that make it harder to meet new people. Being able to do things on your own can be really rewarding, but there's no shame in wishing you had more friends, too.

"Humans are tribal and we need to make the effort to either find or create our own village," Eck says.

If you feel like you're missing out on having the kind of squad everyone else seems to have, you're not the only one. Making friends as an adult can seem like a demoralising uphill battle, but it doesn't have to be. Read on for some common reasons your friendships have changed and ways to deal with those changes.

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Timothée Chalamet, gangly poppet with the good hair, is no one-note wonder. Let’s get that out of the way from the get-go. He caught our eye as a neurotic high schooler with a dramatic flair in Miss Stevens. He climbed Armie Hammer like a tree in Call Me By Your Name. He used those soulful eyes to snag Saoirse Ronan in Lady Bird. He learned to spin one of those giant signs in Spinners, a short film us truly devoted Sweet Tea fans have watched on YouTube (check it out). The point is that Timmy’s got range.

His movies, however, seem to follow a bit of a pattern. This was immediately evident when the trailer for his latest, Hot Summer Nights, dropped on Thursday. The plot isn’t the usual Sweet Tea fare. He’s playing an outsider who gets caught up in dealing drugs, so, you know, not exactly what happens to him in Interstellar. Despite this, there are some moments in the trailer that stood out to us devotees of the Chalamet oeuvre. His character does fall in love in the movie, and for Timmy, falling in love always seems to come with twirling while holding hands and making out in the grass. He also smokes, something he does in Call Me By Your Name and Lady Bird as well.

These are just a few signs you’re watching a Timothée Chalamet movie, besides those brown curls you just want to run your fingers through. Please, check them off on your imaginary bingo card as you go down the list.

The aforementioned holding hands and twirling with your summer love.

Smoking (a reminder that this is bad for you. These are all period pieces, though. They didn’t know better back then.)

Crying in the car (in Hot Summer Nights he does this while driving. This is not recommended.)

Frantically making out against a wall.

Making the most of balconies.

The world turning to hot lava when you get drunk or high.

Relaxing in the meadow with your love.

Have you done any of these things? You might just be in a Timothée Chalamet coming-of-age movie. Or, you might just be Timothée Chalamet. In which case, hello! Big fan. Also, how tall are you?

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Success stories can seem just as fantastical as the fairy tales you (may have) loved growing up: Bold career woman finds herself in the right place at the right time, and poof, her fairy godmother mentor snaps her fingers, transforming our hero into an overnight success who brings home a 7-figure salary, jet-sets the world spreading her you-can-have-it-all gospel, all while looking awesome and Instagramming the whole thing. Umm...really? Why do we so rarely hear the other side of the story — the false starts, the waves of doubt, the failures, and the fuck-ups? Those late-night worries and, occasionally, breakthroughs that are so relatable to the rest of us?

Introducing Self-Made, Refinery29's newest column spotlighting the real stories that fueled success — the wins, the fails, and the curveballs —proving there's no one path to getting what you want.

Polly Rodriguez, 31, is the CEO and co-founder of Unbound, a New York City-based sexual well-being company, and she's on a mission to empower women to take control of their sexual health. Last year, Polly helped found Women In Sex Tech with Lidia Bonilla, a group that supports the growing number of female entrepreneurs who are revolutionising this once taboo industry.

Refinery29 talked with Polly about her struggle to raise funding, how cancer helped radically changed her career goals, and what she's doing most nights at midnight.

What inspired you to launch your own business?
"I graduated into the recession, and so when I got my first job working as a consultant for Deloitte, I was just so happy to have a really well-paying job. But I didn't really like the work. It was hard to imagine quitting because I was financially stable, and I was really good at my job.

"I thought about going to business school, and I signed up to take the GMAT. I did really well on the practice tests, but on the day of the actual exam, I was like, “I can’t do this.” I called the moderator over and asked her if I was allowed to leave? She was like, if you leave, you get a 0 on this test, and it will be tied to your account forever. I was like, I just don’t care. I walked out. That’s when I realised I didn’t want to go to business school. And I didn’t want to stay in consulting.

"But I had to figure out what to do. I didn’t even know where to start. I think it can be so hard to know what you want to do with your life when you don’t know all the options available to you. I started reaching out to a lot of people in my personal and professional networks and talking to so many different people in so many different industries. I eventually decided I wanted to go work in the startup world. But I had a really tough time jumping into that very tight network. Ultimately, I ended up taking a customer service role at a dating startup. My salary was less than half of what I was making at Deloitte. But I loved the job and I loved being in a fast-paced environment and I loved making decisions that had real consequences. I was there for two years, and promoted to an executive-level role. Eventually decided I wanted to start my own company. I met Sarah Jayne, my Unbound cofounder, through Dreamers & Doers, a feminist women-in-tech group, and we launched in December 2014."

Why did you decide to launch an online sex toy company?
"Every woman I’ve ever talked to has a terrible story of the first time they tried to buy a vibrator. But, on a more personal level, I realised how underserved female sexuality is both in the marketplace but also from a societal perspective, when I went through cancer at the age of 21. I had to go through radiation treatment which then catapulted me into menopause. None of my doctors warned me; they just said, 'Oh, you'll never have children.' So I ended up on the Internet, literally googling: 'radiation treatment never have children.' That was how I found out that I was going through menopause.

"A friend who is a nurse recommended I buy a vibrator because the cancer treatment was having such a big impact on my body and, by extension, my sex drive. I was really embarrassed to talk about it, and the whole shopping experience stuck with me. I was living in the midwest — it’s not like there was a Babeland on every corner. But even if I could have shopped there, I think I would still have been uncomfortable. It was weird to me that no one was selling these products to women in a way that made the customer feel good. And that always stuck with me."

Can you talk a little bit about the struggles you faced as you raised capital for Unbound?
"Raising capital was by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I consider myself a fairly resilient person, but it was really tough dealing with the constant rejection. Here you are putting your dreams on the table, and person after person — we're talking hundreds of people — telling you that your idea is bad and that it will never work. And then couple that with the industry that we're in, so there are people who judge you or won't take meetings with you just because they think what you're doing is unethical or trashy. It's hard not to take that personally. Because I don’t consider myself a trashy, unethical person.

"It was especially heartbreaking when I would go out to pitch some of the female angel investor groups. They were often the ones that were the most prudish. It surprised me. I thought the women would understand why buying sex toys was a terrible shopping experience. But more often than not, it was the female investors who made me feel less than. They wouldn’t even take a meeting with me. And a lot of the female groups just said, “Categorically, we would never invest in a company that’s in the sexual health and wellness space, so respectfully, we don't want to waste your time, we don't want to waste our time, we just would never invest in a company like you.

"It took a long time to raise the money. Much longer than I ever thought it would, especially after being at the dating startup where we got funded so quickly. I was just so confused. I didn’t understand why it was so hard when the business model made sense, the market made sense, and we were growing like crazy, Eventually we got a lead investor and ended up closing our funding round way oversubscribed which was great. We raised $2.7 million."

What qualities do you think you possess that make you a good candidate for self-making your destiny?
"I was diagnosed with cancer when I was 20, and I was given a 30% chance of survival and an 80% chance that the cancer would come back. And 10 years later, I’m still here. I’m really fortunate to have been given the gift of perspective, and I’m fortunate to know what it’s like to be sitting in a hospital listing off all the things you would do differently if you beat cancer and make it out alive. You make this promise to yourself that you'll go after all the things that you want, and you won't be too scared of failure. When you're sitting there, and the doctors are telling you they “wanna be honest, it’s not looking good,” you realise how short it all is and that you really do have to go after what you want. I think that’s definitely the most transformational experience I’ve had in my life."

We know about the problems with the boys' club. What are some of the pitfalls of the girls' club?
"I personally don’t understand the backlash of women’s groups. Women have only been able to vote for 100 years. I do think women get built up and then torn down a lot. Just look at Hillary Clinton. It’s because we're still an anomaly, and there’s this expectation that you’re gonna be like Superwoman. That’s why we need to have more women in leadership, so we're not an anomaly. When you’re a rarity, the expectations get that much higher. Like Barack Obama basically had to be perfect because he was the first African American president.

"I think women need a place that’s just for them. There have been all-male clubs forever. I went to The Wing the day after the election and just cried all day. There were so many other women there doing the exact same things, and it was really nice to know that I wasn’t alone."

Would you recommend young women go into sex tech?
"I think it’s a great industry to be in. It’s changing rapidly, and there’s a huge opportunity to be a part of an industry that has the potential to change women’s lives. I would say that getting into this industry requires an exceptional level of resilience, and you have to really not care what people think about you. It can be exhausting at times, but I think that that's probably true with most leadership positions. If anyone is interested, the Women and Sex Tech group puts on events all the time. And we love anybody to be a part of it."

Did you worry about not having a traditional tech background when you founded Unbound?
"My first foray into tech was at the dating startup I worked at before Unbound. I had done a little consulting in the tech space. But I'm definitely not an engineer by any means.

"I think women get really self-conscious about not having a tech background when launching a business, but if you look at the most successful female entrepreneurs, the majority of them don’t have a tech background.

"Yes, we need more women in STEM, and we should encourage more women to be in STEM. But you know one of the biggest reasons startups fail is because engineers will build beautiful technology, but then they'll have no idea how to sell it or tell a story or how to get people to care about it. I think women tend to sell ourselves short because we aren't engineers. But if you’re a wonderful sales person, if you kick ass at sales, that is just as important as being able to code. And more and more there are a lot of out-of-the-box tech solutions that you can use that aren’t wildly expensive, so you can get started at a low cost."

What are you doing at midnight every night?
"I always journal right before I go to bed, or I try to. I’ve kept a diary since I was 7, and I have four massively thick journals that are just filled from cover to back. I have trouble falling asleep sometimes and trouble shutting my brain off, and journaling allows me to unplug and put those thoughts somewhere.

"Sometimes, I’ll go back and read some of the journal entries from when I was really sick or going through a hard time, and it’s a nice reminder that the sun’s gonna rise tomorrow, you’re gonna wake up, and you’re gonna get right back at it. Life marches on."

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Beginning this summer, texting your flatmate to let her know you're headed home in an Uber will be much easier. So will calling 999 if you get in an accident. Both of these updates fall under a broad banner of new safety features Uber announced today.

This is the company's second major announcement this week: Yesterday, Uber unveiled an expansion of its bikeshare program, a new way to rent cars, and a partnership to pay for public transit from the app. Together, these updates signify the largest changes Uber has made since new CEO Dara Khosrowshahi took the reins in August 2017.

The offerings launching this summer include a Safety Centre, where you'll be able to find answers to questions about how drivers are screened; a way to directly contact 911 in case of an accident or anytime you feel unsafe during a ride; and a way to designate up to five "Trusted Contacts" who you can quickly and easily share your location with when taking a ride. The updates will roll out to drivers, too.

Additionally, Uber announced some changes to its driver screening processes, including plans to do additional criminal and motor vehicle checks and stay up to date on new offences.

Finally, users in Denver may see an "emergency button", a tool Uber is piloting there. One tap of that button lets a rider or driver immediately send their location and trip details to a 911 dispatcher. While the process is not as streamlined for those without the pilot, you'll still see your exact location in the app when calling 911, making it easy to tell a dispatcher where you are. This is significant, since it's often challenging for 911 operators to get accurate information about where someone is calling from — especially in a moving vehicle — due to issues with cell tower triangulation.

In addition to proving useful when accidents occur, Khosrowshahi also expressed hope that the ease of calling 911 will serve as a form of prevention. "If it's a sexual predator, they're going to look for a dark corner," he said at an event announcing the updates today. "Our message to the world is that Uber has the lights on."

"If it's a sexual predator, they're going to look for a dark corner. Our message to the world is that Uber has the lights on."

Khrosrowshahi was speaking to the app. However, his words could also be interpreted as a strong statement about Uber's new direction under his guard. In the past, Uber has come under fire in lawsuits claiming the company failed to protect female riders and drivers. The new safety features could help encourage more women, who have expressed hesitation about driving at night because of safety concerns, to drive during those peak hours. This could go a long way in helping female Uber drivers close the existing gender pay gap.

After a troubling year full of sexual harassment claims and upper leadership turnover, it's encouraging to see the ridesharing app instituting change that speaks to the issues at hand.

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For the brothers of California Polytechnic State University's chapter of Lambda Chi Alpha, a fraternity that (supposedly) "prides itself on professionalism," bonding with one another and being involved "with campus and leadership throughout the community" apparently consists of dressing up mockingly like African Americans and painting on blackface.

Photos of the frat's "multicultural" event over the weekend surfaced on Sunday, showing the young men dressed as gang members and flashing contrived gang signs. One member was also sporting blackface. "She want a gangster not a pretty boy" was the caption of one of the photos posted to Instagram.

After the photos began going viral, the chapter was placed on interim suspension, the New York Times reported. In a statement to Refinery29, Taylor Grayson, associate director of communications for the chapter, said Lambda Chi Alpha "prides itself on brotherhood and diversity" and that they "do not condone any behavior that strays from our Core Values (Loyalty, Duty, Respect, Service & Stewardship, Honor, Integrity, and Personal Courage). We certainly do not tolerate hate or racism of any kind."

With the racist caucasity of the members of Cal Poly’s Lambda Chi Alpha, to the insensitivity from the president of Cal Poly, responsibility needs to be taken for these actions!
Plz RT to get this National attn so incidents like this don’t go ignored!#BLACKFACEISRACIST pic.twitter.com/cmmV4O3e5p

— Calloway❤️ (@ashlaayacl) April 10, 2018

According to the Lambda Chi Alpha board of directors, not only is the chapter suspended until at least April, 29, 2019, but all of the chapter's officers have resigned their roles and two members have resigned their memberships. The remaining brothers will have to "attend educational sessions regarding diversity and inclusion, bystander intervention, cross cultural training, and sign a behavior contract."

Although this all sounds like the fraternity and the university are taking swift steps to address the racist incident, this is not a totally unheard of occurrence for fraternity's at Cal Poly, where just 1% of the student population is Black. In 2013, another fraternity held an unoriginally named "Colonial Bros and Nava-Hos " party, complete with skimpy Native American themed costumes. The university investigated, but found the fraternity didn't violate any rules.

Cal Poly's Black Student Union released a statement following the recent controversy, saying the university is simply not doing enough to get at the root cause of why these incidents keep happening. "As a Predominantly White Institution with an overwhelming representation of those in the top 10% of the income bracket, Cal Poly has shown time and time again that it does not hold itself, its Greek Organizations, or its students accountable for their actions," the statement reads. "With the lack of support for survivors of sexual assault, the continually low numbers of students, faculty, and staff of color, and the continual excusing of the behavior of Greek organizations, the Cal Poly Black Student Union and its allies incite the university to take a hard stance against these acts that go against the Diversity and Inclusivity statements the University is meant to hold itself and its constituents to."

In a statement to Refinery29, the university's dean of students, Kathleen McMahon, said, "Racism and hate are unwelcome here, in any form. Cal Poly is focused on enhancing the diversity of our campus and providing an environment that is welcoming to all who would study, work or visit here.”

As Refinery29 has previously reported, college and university officials oftentimes release strongly worded statements following racist incidents on their campuses, but are hesitant to do more beyond that as to not infringe on the culture of "free speech" that higher education extols.

Refinery29 has reached out to Cal Poly's Black Student Union and will update this story when we hear back.

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It's April. Which in accordance with British law means you have to start doing all things summery now. Buy some sandals, go drinking in a beer garden, take a weekend trip to the seaside, wear an entirely inappropriate outfit for the inclement weather which is, no doubt, just around the corner.

About this time, our appetite usually changes a little. Gone are stews and roasts and in their place we switch to lighter, fruitier and more tropical dishes. Which is why coconut is such an excellent ingredient to reacquaint yourself with at this time of the year.

However, I've got nothing up my sleeve, coconut recipe-wise. Slathering it all over my body to give me lovely skin, yes. Using it in food for anything other than toning it down when I've gone OTT with the chilli, no.

Luckily, Madeleine Shaw, food blogger and nutritional therapist has reached out to give us a hand, providing us with three coconut-based recipes to practise and perfect before summer actually arrives.

Click through to see the recipes.

Madeleine has created a new coconut face mask for Origins UK. Glow-Co-Nuts is available now.

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A few months ago, there was a tweet floating around. It kept popping up and, though the wording was slightly different every time, the sentiment stayed the same. Clearly, its subject had struck a chord. "Ever noticed that the person making excuses for not texting back is the one who never puts their phone down when you’re around them?” it said.

We all have that friend. That person who has a million and one excuses for leaving you on read (or unread, if they’re crafty) with no reply. “My phone ran out of battery” is a favourite defence. “I've been on the phone to my sister!” is another.

And do you know what? Nine times out of 10, we don't care. We're all terrible at texting back. Being available on every social media channel all the time is exhausting. Most smartphone batteries are crap. And yes, we’re all busy. Work is hard; maintaining a social life even harder.

A post shared by Allen (@allendunson88) on Dec 12, 2017 at 9:12am PST

Some people take it too far, though. And what bugs most everyone about their friend like this is that when you actually hang out, they never put their phone down.

Smartphones are addictive. We know this. Several people instrumental in inventing social media have told us this. Social media apps tease us with notifications, likes and follows that get our dopamine flowing and the feelgoods going. People we’ve never met taking an interest in our life is flattering; having a tangible, digital record of our popularity is seductive. But while our friend is building their online profile, we’re right here. Literally. Sitting next to them. Looking awkwardly out the window while they scroll through pictures from fashion week, from beauty influencers, of memes about dogs they’ll never meet.

A post shared by @hashtag_memelover on Jan 31, 2018 at 7:01am PST

The main problem is that if this is the kind of relationship someone has with their phone – glued to their hand – then they must have seen the photo we sent them last week asking whether this lipstick suited us. Same with the one we sent them last night, asking if they wanted to go for dinner. The hard truth of the matter is that we weren’t as important as whatever was happening on their phone.

And that hurts. Of course it does. It makes us feel like we are boring. It makes us feel like we are worthless. It makes us feel like we're holding onto our shared relationship by a thread.

When they do eventually text us, we don’t open their messages. Instead, we decide pettily to give them a taste of their own medicine, to let them sweat and see how it feels to be kept waiting. We know full well that, unlike us, they are not dwelling on our non-replies, feeling smaller and more insignificant with every passing minute. We also know that when we eventually break and send them curt, cold texts in return, we will come across like them: time-poor and struggling to keep up with messages. "We are both in the same boat" they will think, not getting our attempt to subtly imply annoyance rather than (wo)manning up and telling them how we really feel.

A post shared by neeenski (@neeenski) on Mar 5, 2018 at 11:47am PST

Because we don't want to call them out on it. We really don't. If it's this hard to get a response from them now, what will it be like if we start a fight with them? What will it be like if we sound needy?

So here's what we tell ourselves: People have always been rubbish at replying. It's just that now we know when we're being screened. Caller ID gave us the choice to pick up the landline or not and the screenee lived happily in denial about the fact that the screener had something better to do than chat to them at that moment.

Because there's no chance, especially with our phone-addicted friends, that they've missed our messages. And so we must accept that they're not ready to talk at the same times we are. Not replying immediately doesn't mean "I hate you", it means "I'm not ready to talk to anyone right now."

And we sort of believe it. Well, we would. If only they replied just a little bit more.

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It's not very cool to love the '60s, is it? Thanks to that guy at every house party who earnestly explains the genius of The Beatles at 4am, those who wear flower crowns and crochet at Glastonbury wishing it were Woodstock, and the naff peace sign-emblazoned outfits sold at fancy dress shops, the decade hasn't aged particularly well in our collective consciousness. But I'm here, in spite of all these caricatures, to tell you that the 1960s was in fact the best decade for fashion.

Let's address the hippies first. Admittedly, their style wasn't my favourite (with the exception of Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin), but we actually owe a lot to the free-loving, mind-expanding subculture. Tie-dye (see Burberry's SS18 rainbow-dyed puffer), bell bottoms (tell me you're not wearing kick-flare denim or cords right now) and a penchant for organic fabrics (hello, sustainable fashion) are all elements of our current fashion landscape, and can be directly traced to the gender-shirking, sexually liberated hippies. Their rejection of consumerism also led to a more individualistic approach to style, which we still revere today. It pains me that this group are the poster kids for the '60s when so much else was born out of that decade.

Which brings me to 'youthquake', the term coined by Vogue 's Diana Vreeland to signal the moment the post-war notion of the teenager really came alive, when kids began establishing their own cultures and identities. We wouldn't have punk, grunge, or today's 'Supremacists ' if it weren't for the teens of the '60s who shunned the staid couture houses in favour of style born out of the Kings Road and Carnaby Street boutiques. Previously, that age group dressed as mini versions of their parents, which is perhaps the least cool thing you can think of when you're a teen. The '60s saw the youth kick back against tradition and confinement, changing the course of youth and fashion culture forever.

Of course, the most famous faces of this movement were gamine model Twiggy, doe-eyed Jean Shrimpton (my take-to-the-hairdressers fringe icon), and the otherworldly Penelope Tree; their lithe limbs ideal for showcasing Mary Quant and André Courrèges' liberating and iconic mini skirt. These women also represent the first successful use of It Girls as advertising tools; without them we wouldn't have the Jenners and Hadids of today – just another way the decade has shaped our fashion landscape. Key pieces from the time? Psychedelic prints, shift dresses, colour-pop hosiery (Balenciaga SS17, anyone?) and bright faux fur (hiya Shrimps, Charlotte Simone, and Jakke); my inner peacock is salivating.

Just before the Swinging Sixties came the mods. In the '50s, 'modernists' were a group of slick kids who listened to modern jazz but by the '60s the movement was more focused around European style (think French and Italian suiting and polo shirts), Lambrettas, and soul, ska and R&B. My favourite thing about the mods is that their sartorial outlook was, in the words of The Who's manager Peter Meaden, "clean living under difficult circumstances". This meant looking as sharp and sophisticated as you could within your means. Thanks to the mods, tailored suits, embellished scooters and clean haircuts were no longer just for the wealthy. They were considered effeminate by their rivals, the 'rockers', because of their preening and attention to detail, but I'm a sucker for a man who puts care (and flare) into his style. By the mid '60s, the mod style had gone from working class subculture to mass market, and Carnaby Street became more of a tourist attraction than genuine hang-out.

But the '60s had so much more going for them than these youth-oriented, subcultural phenomena. They saw the birth of the two-piece bikini, women in trousers and shirts, Cher in her bohemian days. Jackie O and Audrey Hepburn presented a refined and sophisticated look, all pillbox hats, pastel hues and skirt suits, while the Nouvelle Vague film scene had Anna Karina and Jean-Luc Godard repping French style at its finest. The Cold War's space race had a huge impact on aesthetics, with André Courrèges' SS64 look introducing futuristic fabrics and space-age shapes to the catwalk. Vinyl go-go boots, sky-high hair and silver shift dresses were the order of the day, as seen in sci-fi film Barbarella, starring the incredible Jane Fonda.

Then there was the rock'n'roll glamour of the girlfriends of musicians in the late '60s. Rumour has it that Rolling Stones bassist Bill Wyman came up with the term 'groupies' to denote the beautiful women who flanked the stars on tour. It's obviously a shitty way to describe these women – who were most likely as into the music as they were the musicians – but regardless, they're some of my favourite style icons from the decade. Take the devastatingly gorgeous German-Italian actress Anita Pallenberg, who dated both Brian Jones and Keith Richards (and, apparently, had a fling with Mick Jagger during their time on the set of Performance in 1968). All shaggy fur coats and mini skirts paired with thigh-high boots and feather boas, she was effortlessly cool and inspires women like Kate Moss and Alexa Chung to this day. Singer-songwriter Marianne Faithfull, who dated Jagger during the '60s, oozed the undone sexiness of the time, donning suits, face-concealing sunglasses and feathers with aplomb.

The 1960s can't be defined by one look, group or aesthetic – and that's what makes it so exciting to look back on. Once you see past the peace signs and endless photographs of Twiggy, you'll find much more in what I believe to be the 20th century's most exciting decade.

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Bouncy. Smooth. Glowy. The triumvirate of happy skin – skin that reflects light, that makeup glides onto, that looks as fresh in the evening as it did in the morning – cannot exist without one simple thing: hydration. Without vital moisture, your skin looks dry, dull and dehydrated, not to mention being more sensitive and reactive. Wherever you are on the spectrum, from super oily to ultra dehydrated, the need for hydration is universal.

For example, if you’re the type to carry blotting sheets and always choose mattifying foundations, don’t be fooled into thinking that you’re all set on the moisture front. Sebum, the oil your skin likes to pump out as if it’s going out of style, won’t provide you with any lasting hydration, despite how slick your face may feel. Conversely, if your skin is perennially parched, you might think you need the richest cream going. It’ll provide some instant relief, but in the long term, it won’t necessarily alleviate the problem, as your skin needs something to help it hold onto hydration all day, not just sit on top of it.

Plus, as we move into the warmer months, the fluctuating temperatures can play havoc with even the most well-behaved of complexions. Sunny spells, mixed with drizzly days and blasting air conditioning mean your skin has a lot to adapt to – and that’s without all the late nights spring and summer bring. The solution? A clever, lightweight formula that delivers an all-day healthy-looking glow, and supports your skin’s internal hydrating functions. Meet Clinique’s Moisture Surge 72-Hour Auto-Replenishing Hydrator. Combining an imperceptibly light texture with a hit of long-lasting hydration, this new gel-cream works to replenish your skin’s internal moisture sources for all-day glow and leaves your skin feeling plumped and dewy for hours and hours (the hint is in the name). Want to know more? Read on…

First of all, the texture is heavenly. If you find thick creams leave too much of a residue, while light lotions don’t really hit the spot, consider this the Goldilocks of hydrators. Airy in texture but immediately cooling and cocooning, Moisture Surge 72-Hour uses a special water-holding matrix to form a mesh even thinner than the breadth of a hair over your skin. This locks in hydration while letting your skin breathe, meaning it’ll feel touchably soft but never sticky.

Then there are the super ingredients: hyaluronic acid, activated aloe water and caffeine. Hyaluronic acid is found naturally in the skin, and binds up to 1,000 times its own weight in water, making it a must-have for moisturised skin. In fact, it gives a moisture boost of 152%, while other water-binding ingredients lock into the skin to keep it looking dewy and fresh.

Activated aloe water and caffeine work in tandem to help your skin reinforce its own natural hydrating sources. They draw water up from the lower layers of the skin, push it to the top and keep your skin auto-rehydrating all day long. Your skin won’t feel tight or dry at any point – instead, it’ll just keeping sipping on this supply. If you feel your makeup goes dry and patchy by 4pm, prepping your skin with this in the morning will help you keep that just-moisturised feeling all day, as your skin will have a rich store of hydration. Likewise, if you feel your complexion is dull and lifeless, a slick of Moisture Surge 72-Hour will turbocharge your skin with vitality, making it better reflect light and look healthy.

There are four ways to make the hydrator work for you, and they’re not all limited to your face…

1. The 5-Minute Moisturising Mask

Turn your bathroom (or the hotel bathroom, the plane, or even the gym changing rooms) into a spa with this clever trick. Apply a generous layer all over your face, and leave to absorb for a few minutes. Either tissue off the excess or massage it in to boost circulation and get your skin perky and glowing.

2. The Cuticle Saver

Nothing says ‘I have my life together’ like neat hands. Don’t be caught out by raggedy nails – at the first sign of dry cuticles, apply a small amount of Moisture Surge 72-Hour to your nail bed and massage in for a conditioning boost. Who needs a mani-pedi?

3. The Frizz Fighter

Humidity taking its toll on your locks? Never fear, Moisture Surge 72-Hour is here. A coin-sized amount, rubbed between the palms of your hands, is all you need. Gently glide over split ends and puffy lengths, avoiding the roots, for a sleeker style.

4. Glow On The Go

No time to do a full face before you hit the pub? No problem. Grab your Chubby Stick Sculpting Highlight and scribble some onto the back of your hand, then take a small dollop of Moisture Surge 72-Hour and mix together until fully saturated. Then smooth onto your face wherever you want a hit of radiance. Try the tops of cheekbones, temples and your Cupid’s bow for a lit-from-within look.

Impressed? Us too. This cult moisturiser will be taking pride of place on our bathroom shelf for the foreseeable future.

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