The days are getting shorter. The weather’s getting colder. There’s a spooky feeling in the air. That’s right: Scorpio season is almost here.

The eighth sign of the zodiac might be the most intense. Scorpio is associated with sex, mystery, and transformation. “From 23rd October to 22nd November, all signs will be feeling this sign’s introspective, kinky, and hypnotic-like vibe,” Narayana Montúfar, Senior Astrologer for Astrology.com and Horoscope.com, tells Refinery29.

“As the energy of the sun, our main star, shifts to the sign of Scorpio, not only will the overall mood shift but even the days will start to embrace a darker undertone,” Montúfar explains. “It is no coincidence that Halloween and Día de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) happen during Scorpio season — after all, it is the natural ruler of the eighth house and the realm of sex, death, rebirth, and transformation.”

This Scorpio season is “bound to be intense due to certain planetary alignments,” but “it holds the keys to release negative emotions and patterns that might be holding us back in order to reach deep transformation,” Montúfar adds.

Mercury retrograde in Scorpio, beginning on Halloween, “forms a very rare meet-up with the hot sun in this emotional and sensitive sign,” she says. “Very important information will be coming to the surface, when going with the flow will be crucial — especially as unexpected events force us to make radical changes at a moment’s notice.”

Sterling Bowen, astrologer for the app Sanctuary, says, “Scorpio season is about digging deep, and this year, we’re going to see it dialed up to 100. Mercury is adding to the drama when it enters its retrograde phase on Halloween (boo!), so there’s a chaotic, confused type of passion in the air.”

While Mercury retrograde is a big factor, the positions of the other planets also have an influence on Scorpio season. “Early on, Venus and Pluto form a connection that triggers our animal instinct of desire and promotes transformation, especially where love and power are concerned,” Bowen says. “Later, Mars squares Pluto to light a little fire under our asses and puts action behind the changes we’re making in our lives. Just make sure not to get caught in the illusions created by the Venus and Neptune’s connection in the second half of the season, or else all of that transformation is at risk of fizzling out.”

While the early days of Scorpio season may seem difficult, things will start looking up soon. “The beginning of Scorpio season might put us through some tests — especially around the 27th October new moon in Scorpio,” Montúfar says. “But the second part comes with the promise of real, tangible progress and unique opportunities, brought by the positive and healing full moon in Taurus on 12th November.”

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Your Sign Needs These Halloween Costumes

Find The Best Glossier Product By Your Zodiac Sign

Your October Horoscope, Revealed

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Generation Z & The Fast Fashion Paradox

Where Is The Sustainable, Size-Inclusive Fashion?

Incredible Women From The Global Climate Strike

The first time I took the emergency contraception pill (or morning after pill, as it’s more commonly known in the UK) I was 16 years old and in school uniform. Since then, I have taken it five or six times, mostly at my own expense and always as a precaution in emergencies rather than as a contraceptive method in and of itself, which is exactly how the NHS says we are supposed to use it. 

My relationship with contraception is complex. I’ve struggled with the mental health side effects of the contraceptive pill and my body rejected the coil first time around. The result for me has been that the morning after pill has played a more significant role in my life than for many of my friends. It was my safety net — until one day, after a condom failed, it didn’t catch me. 

To say that I was surprised to learn I was pregnant after taking it last year would be an understatement. Statistically, I was in the two in every 100 women who get pregnant after using a condom, and then the one in 20 women who get pregnant after taking the morning after pill (Levonelle) within 24 hours of having unprotected sex. In any other context, I would have felt exceptional.

In the UK, since 2001 the morning after pill has been available without prescription in pharmacies. There are two main types: levonorgestrel (known by its brand name Levonelle in the UK and Plan B in the US), which was the first to be invented, and ulipristal acetate (known as ellaOne in the UK), which was more recently introduced. 

The main difference between the two is that ellaOne can be taken up to five days after unprotected sex, whereas Levonelle’s window is shorter (three days). According to the NHS guidelines on emergency contraception, this is because they work by delaying ovulation, which “is triggered by rising levels of a hormone called luteinising hormone (LH). Levonelle appears not to be effective after levels of LH start to rise. EllaOne continues to be effective a little later in the cycle.”

In both cases, though, the pill is much more likely to work if taken in the first 24 hours after unprotected sex, and becomes less effective as time passes. You probably already know this, as it’s drilled into us all from a very young age. Taken according to these guidelines, manufacturers say that morning after pills are 95% effective.

Yet when I told friends and colleagues about my experience, I was surprised by how many people told me that the morning after pill hadn’t worked for them or someone they know. 

Hannah* is a 35-year-old psychology postgraduate student. She got pregnant after taking a morning after pill, which she bought in a pharmacy. “I was astounded as despite knowing the statistics, no one explained the contexts in which the morning after pill could fail to work,” she explains. “I didn’t find out the mechanism through which it works until researching after the fact, and had I known it was tied to ovulation, I probably wouldn’t have bought it, because the timing wasn’t right.” 

The problem here is that there are no official statistics for exactly how many women this has happened to. Part of the reason is that it’s almost impossible to determine if they are skewed by women who have taken a morning after pill but would not have got pregnant otherwise. Samuelle Yohou, associate medical manager at HRA Pharma, says that “not everyone who has unprotected sex will fall pregnant but statistically 55 in 1,000 will”. According to Samuelle, taking ellaOne reduces this number to nine in 1,000.

But this statistic is cast into doubt by the Faculty of Sexual and Reproductive Health (FSRH) guidelines. They say: “If 1% of all women receiving a particular method of emergency contraception (EC) within 72 hours of unprotected sexual intercourse (UPSI) at any time in the cycle become pregnant, the overall pregnancy rate is quoted as 1%. However, for a significant proportion of the women included in the study, UPSI would not have occurred during the fertile period and they would not have become pregnant in any case.” 

Roughly translated, this means that if a woman has already begun to ovulate when she has unprotected sex, no morning after pill will work because an egg has already been released. Dr Jane Dickson, vice president of the FSRH explains why this is: “The main mechanism of action of oral emergency contraception is to postpone ovulation so that sperm in the genital tract will be dead when ovulation occurs […] but it is thought to have no action once ovulation has already occurred.”

This information is included in the leaflet that comes with ellaOne, which states: “Emergency contraception can delay ovulation within a given menstrual cycle, but it will not stop you from becoming pregnant if you have unprotected sex again.” Confusingly, it also says that “you can take the tablet at any time in your cycle” but at no point does it state that the stage of your cycle you’re in could have an impact on efficacy. 

That said, the leaflet does state: “Emergency contraception is not effective in every case. Of 100 women who take this medicine approximately 2 will become pregnant.” But if you didn’t read the small print or know how it works, it’s easy to see how you might be caught out by not knowing that your proximity to ovulation will affect things. 

In my case, it’s a fact of which I was completely unaware until after I got pregnant. Assuming I was just ignorant, I asked friends and colleagues if they knew about it, and the answer was a resounding “no”. 

According to Dr Dickson, “guidelines on emergency contraception recommend that, when making a choice between emergency contraception methods, individual women need to know that the risk of pregnancy depends on the timing of intercourse relative to ovulation.” 

She adds that “the only method that will work reliably is an emergency copper intrauterine device (IUD),” and that because of this, “women should be made aware by the provider of oral emergency contraception that a copper IUD is the most effective option.” 

As it turns out, a copper IUD is not only more effective at preventing an unplanned pregnancy (99.9%), but the window for taking it is longer. “It can be inserted up to five days after the first unprotected intercourse in a natural menstrual cycle, or up to five days after the earliest likely date of ovulation (whichever is later).”

When I took the morning after pill in the pharmacy’s consultation room last year, I wasn’t asked where I was in my cycle (which I know with relative accuracy thanks to my tracking app, Clue) and no one told me that perhaps a copper IUD would be more effective. That’s not to say it would have changed my decision, but it is definitely not information that was volunteered at the time by the person selling me the pill. 

Hannah had the same experience. “At no point was I made aware of any alternatives with greater effectiveness,” she tells me. Of course, pharmacies themselves are unable to fit an IUD, but shouldn’t women be at least made aware of other, more effective options? 

“It left me wondering why I was kept in the dark. Was it so the pharmaceutical industry could keep making millions out of the product by not deterring women who aren’t eligible from taking it?” Hannah adds.  

Clare Murphy, director of external affairs for the British Pregnancy Advisory Service (BPAS), notes that the morning after pill “costs pennies to produce” but is sold “at a high mark-up”. Just Say Non!, a campaign run by BPAS calling on major retailers to reduce the cost of emergency contraception pills, succeeded in bringing down the price for consumers to around £15.99 (from £25.99 previously). However, it also highlighted that the profit margins for retailers are still much higher than they need to be. For many people, £15.99 is still no small sum. 

Of course, while a method of long-acting reversible contraception (LARC) like the IUD may be cheaper for the NHS in the long run, there’s no getting away from the fact that it isn’t comfortable or viable for some women. 

Clare passionately advocates for morning after pills to be more readily available. She says: “There is no reason why these pills can’t be offered over the counter in the same way – and at a similar cost – as drugs like paracetamol and ibuprofen.”  

“Morning after pills are safe and effective, if not as effective as regular methods, and women should make use of them as and when they need to,” she says. What remains evident is that women taking the morning after pill need more clarity on when and how it is most effective.

According to quality standards published by the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE): “Women asking for emergency contraception are told that an IUD is more effective than an oral method.” This is at odds with both mine and Hannah’s experiences, and suggests that these guidelines may not always be enforced. When pressed, a representative from NICE confirmed that the body has not looked into emergency contraception as part of its technology appraisal process, which perhaps explains the discrepancy. 

All of this made me wonder whether there are other factors that can interfere with the efficacy of morning after pills. Julia Hogan, the nurse lead for contraception and sexual health at Marie Stopes, tells me that a woman’s body mass index (BMI) and interactions with other prescribed medications can also have an impact.

“If a woman has a BMI of over 26, or weighs over 70kg, it is advised to give a double dose for Levonelle,” she tells me. For ellaOne, this increases to a BMI of 30 or more and 80kg. As a woman who has a BMI of over 30, this is information that – again – takes me by surprise. When I was sold the morning after pill, nobody took my weight or mentioned that it could potentially be a problem. Ditto any medications I might have been taking. “Asthmatics taking steroids, for example, cannot use ellaOne.”

Many women who take the morning after pill are, as I was, likely to be stressed out after finding themselves in the position of dealing with a potential pregnancy. And we can’t forget that some will be victims of rape or sexual abuse, who are already experiencing huge amounts of emotional distress. Can we really expect them to be across all of the attendant issues with emergency contraception while they may be going through a difficult time? Should we expect that of them?

There is no doubt that the invention of emergency contraception changed the game for women’s rights and gave us more ownership and control over our bodies and what happens to them. This does not mean, however, that we should be expected to assume responsibility for the entire reproductive process. 

Government statistics reveal that in 2018, 45% of pregnancies in the UK were classified as “unplanned”. Of course, many of these pregnancies are happy ones, but it is surprising that so many women are getting pregnant “by accident”, given the contraceptive methods to which British people have access.

As with any conversation worth having, it is clear that this is incredibly complex. It is also clear that as a woman, being aware of what stage of your cycle you’re at when you’re having sex is important, even if – or especially if – pregnancy is not something you’re seeking out. At the end of the day though, women can’t make informed choices about contraception – emergency or otherwise – if they aren’t given all the information. 

* Some names have been changed to protect identities.

If you have any concerns or queries about your contraception or emergency contraception, please contact your GP right away.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

The Victims Of Contraceptive Control & Sabotage

Why Is Morning After Pill Shaming Still A Thing?

Weird Outcomes Of Going Off The Pill

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Uniqlo x JW Anderson Is Autumnal Perfection

Alison Mosshart's Rock & Roll Collab Is Here

We Asked Cool Girl Georgia Moot What Love Means

Faded colour, parched strands and split ends are just a handful of consequences of basking in the summer sun, but when the cold hits and the central heating is switched on, you’re likely to experience a host of new issues.

A flaky scalp, hat hair and waiting twice as long for lengths to air dry isn’t exactly ideal, so we tasked world-renowned hairstylist and brand founder Philip B with solving our most common autumn and winter hair dilemmas.

What’s the best way to air dry your hair when it’s cold?

“Microfibre towels ‘pre-dry’ your hair much better than ordinary towels, but to speed things up if you don’t want to sit around all cold, invest in a diffuser for your hairdryer. Simply place the diffuser above your head without touching your hair, bounce it around a bit, and the water will evaporate much faster. That way, you can air dry the rest easily.”

How can you stop winter humidity from making hair frizzy?

“Firstly, avoid wearing wool scarves. They cause friction to the hair follicle and when it is roughened, this results in static and flyaways. Secondly, when water in the atmosphere hits the bond of the hair it starts to erode and the strand kinks up, so I’d suggest opting for a good leave-in conditioner to prevent this from happening so quickly. They also work to remoisturise the hair post-wash.”

What’s the best way to restyle your hair after being caught in a downpour?

“You can easily restyle rained-on hair with a leave-in conditioner. Spray it right on the hair and smooth it out with your hands and it’ll be transformed. You can also create a really nice sleek up-do with it. If that fails, go for the wet look. Grab some mousse, slick it back, and when it’s dry, just brush it out.”

How can you stop your hair from becoming dry and brittle in the cold weather?

“Split ends shrink like a prune and then literally crack, so using oil treatments is one of the best ways to revive hair. Hair oil lubricates the cuticle and allows it to open and close so that you can seal it shut. Using products which contain amino acids and peptides (what keratin is made of) will also glue them back together, but only temporarily, so go for regular trims.”

What’s the best way to prevent a flaky scalp?

“Hot oil treatments are amazing for your hair and scalp because they even out the hair’s porosity and help lift and dissolve dead skin. Your ends are always thirsty for lipids, too, so it’s a bit like a reboot for your head.”

Is there a way to stop natural hair from shrinking in humid weather?

“Again, stock up on oils, which really are the best for textured, super curly hair. I would always put the product on towel-dried hair that is still slightly damp. This is because water will carry the product through.”

Does winter make your hair fall out?

“No, it doesn’t. That’s what I would call fake news! You aren’t more prone to hair loss in the winter. One thing I would advise is to be gentler on your hair, for example using natural bristles, which are better for your hair all year round.”

How can you make your hair wash last longer?

“Dry shampoo. It’s not bad for your hair or scalp. Your scalp is so coated with sebum, which is one of the waxiest, heaviest substances. If you brush the dry shampoo through, it will absorb the natural oils and move them away. Always brush it through. Don’t spritz and go.”

Is there a way to shake hat hair off quickly?

“Any type of leave-in conditioner is going to re-silken the hair and take out any kinks. Just spritz it in and run your hands through. Curls need more of a cream to hold it down, so if your hair is curly, scrunch upwards instead.”

What’s the one hair product you should always use in winter?

“In-shower conditioner. This may sound obvious, but there’s a particular way of using it. You have so many hair follicles, so using a comb will help zip it through. Always apply conditioner on soaking wet hair, otherwise you’ll end up using twice as much. Water is the vehicle for good ingredients in products.”

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Celebrity Hair Changes We're Loving This Year

Best Beauty Advent Calendars For Christmas 2019

How To Tailor Your Skincare Routine To Autumn

Warning: Spoilers ahead for Modern Love on Amazon Prime.

Everyone spent the weekend binging Amazon Prime’s Modern Love and there are a few moments and episodes that really stood out, and by stood out we mean destroyed all our emotions and are the subject of all our group chats with friends who also binged the show. 

Modern Love is an anthology based on the personal essays of eight true stories from the exceptionally popular New York Times column with the same title. Each story on the Amazon original series chronicles the highs and lows and love in its many forms based in the city with just as many highs and lows, New York. Just like the column, not all love that is celebrated or brought to light in the series is the quintessential meet-cute, followed by a montage of park walks and nights in cooking together and an uncomplicated and beautiful wedding where everyone is happy and “This Will Be (An Everlasting Love)” by Natalie Cole plays at the end. Love, like life, is messy, and it rarely comes how you expect it.

The first moment the internet will never get over comes in the first episode, “When The Doorman Is Your Main Man.” Maggie (Cristin Milioti) is an editor living in an enviable pre-war building in New York, complete with a traditional doorman, Guzim (Laurentius Possa); however, their relationship is far from traditional resident-doorman relationships. Guzim becomes a father figure and a huge support system for Maggie as she navigates dating and motherhood. Guzim claims he can tell if a man is a good match for Maggie, and no matter how much she would like to ignore his advice, he is never wrong. (Can I have my own Guzim, please?) He never reveals his secrets as to how he can tell if a relationship will last until the very end, when he shares that it has nothing to do with the men and it has everything to do with how Maggie looks at them *sobs into tea*. 

One brief look at Twitter, and I was reassured that everyone else watching the show was as touched and teary-eyed from that moment as I was. 

I was never looking at the man, Maggie. I was looking at your eyes. #ModernLove pic.twitter.com/kk5qdGKmce

— Kaitlyn Blankenship 🌻 (@kaaayy_TEEEE) October 19, 2019

My God! When Guzmin said he’d been watching Maggie’s eyes the whole time #ModernLove To have someone that knows you like that!

— MissAnthropy (@April_On_ILL) October 19, 2019

The doorman episode of Modern Love has me perusing Street Easy for doorman buildings.

— xtine (@cmarchetti8) October 20, 2019

The second moment isn’t a singular moment, it’s more a casting that the world has been missing out on for far too long: Dev Patel as a romantic leading man. Yes. Yes. One thousand times yes. In the second episode of the series, “When Cupid Is A Prying Journalist,” Patel plays the founder and CEO of a dating app who knows what it’s like to experience love and loss. Who wouldn’t be charmed by a guy who waits for you after an interview to ask you out, takes you to the zoo, cares that your parents like him, and talks about your relationship like a rocket being launched into space? The show is barely past the opening credits when Patel, like a rocket being launched into space, shoots straight to the top of everyone’s internet boyfriend list. Hollywood, check your mentions because everyone on Twitter agrees. 

Dev Patel. That’s it, that’s the tweet. #modernlove pic.twitter.com/BkUSmhH0fR

— sarah (@sar_josephine) October 19, 2019

if modern love episode 2 wasnt an audition to make dev patel a future romcom lead then WHAT was the point i would like to seeeee it. #modernlove pic.twitter.com/jNow3kFHfB

— meenal (@eyesopens) October 18, 2019

me: 🙁

dev patel: appears on screen

me: 🙂 #ModernLove pic.twitter.com/ZYoA7lnZM3

— evelyn hugo is my daddy (@xsunsetbeauty) October 18, 2019

The third moment comes in “Take Me As I Am, Whoever I Am.” Anne Hathaway plays Lexi, a promising entertainment lawyer with untreated bipolar disorder who struggles with relationships. One moment, she is thriving off the high of a manic period and the next she has difficulty getting out of bed for a week in the lows of depression. Hathaway’s portrayal of Lexi is heartbreaking. In one scene, she bargains with herself in the mirror as she can feel herself slipping into a depressed period right after going out of her way to reschedule a date with a guy she really liked. Through this, she finds a true friend in her former coworker, love for herself and where she’s at wherever she’s at, and the courage to be honest with others and be proactive about treatment. 

the last scene between Lexi (Anne Hathaway) and Sylvia (Quincy Tyler Bernstine) is the highlight of #ModernLove❤️ #TakeMeAsIAmWhoeverIAm pic.twitter.com/SyDVyFlhHG

— nickgar (@Nickgar) October 18, 2019

It’s really heartbreaking to watch 💔
I want more episodes with Anne Hathaway , She’s absolutely PERFECT. I can’t believe how much she made me cry !#ModernLove #AnneHathaway pic.twitter.com/CBRgakIBSY

— Mouad (@mouad_x07) October 18, 2019

Anne Hathaway in Modern Love just WOW. Honestly made me tear up watching that episode. The depressive episodes her character experienced really resonate with me. A true and accurate representation of what someone’s depressive episodes can be like. #ModernLove #mentalhealth

— Maria (@mbc_897) October 18, 2019

Anne Hathaway’s #ModernLove episode. pic.twitter.com/BuUZx8EbDt

— patrick (@imPatrickT) October 20, 2019

Each moment hits emotionally in a different way, but all of them leave us with the concrete feeling that love exists in so many forms and it is beautiful to witness, no matter how messy it can get at times. I’m not crying, you’re crying. Kidding. We’re all crying.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

You Have 15 New Streaming Treats To Binge

The Cast Of Modern Love Defines Romance For US

All The New Fall TV Shows Actually Worth Watching

Peter III became emperor of Russia in 1762 at the age of 34. It took six months from the time he took the title for his wife, Catherine the Great, to conspire with her lover to overthrow him. While 1762 began the longest reign by a woman in Russian history, Peter III wouldn’t make it out of the year alive. Usually, marriages have two outcomes: stay together or get divorced. Who knew “military coup and murder” was a third option?

Catherine the Great and Peter III had a contentious marriage from the start. Arranged by Peter’s aunt, the pair were only a good match politically, as Catherine was from Prussia — the countries had long been at odds. As far as their compatibility otherwise, they really weren’t suited for each other at all. Historical documents say they were mismatched on just about every front: intellectually, ideologically, even physically. It was truly a marriage of political gain and not much else. A princess by birth, she was born Sophie Frederica Auguste. Don’t let the title fool you: though she was a princess, her family had fallen on hard times.  Her rich family history and connections were enough to position her well in society, however. She adopted the name Catherine when they married, when she was 16 and Peter was 17.

According to Catherine’s memoirs, she thought of Peter as an idiot and a drunk who was only interested in playing the part of a military leader. The couple were married for nearly 17 years, but it is rumoured that they each had multiple affairs over the years.

Born Karl Peter Ulrich on February 21, 1728, in Kiel in northern Germany, Peter III was the grandson of two emperors, Peter the Great of Russia and Charles XII of Sweden. After his parents died, he was placed in the care of tutors and officials who groomed him for the Swedish throne. When he was 14, he was brought to Russia by his aunt Elizabeth, who was empress, and proclaimed heir to the throne under the name Pyotr Fyodorovich.

From day one of his rule, his decrees as emperor were viewed as treasonous by the Russian aristocracy and military class, which alienated him. Today, the idea of enforcing religious freedom, disbanding secret police forces, and making it illegal for landowners to kill serfs farming their land all seem like pretty supportable ideas but they were not popular with the upper classes in Russia at the time. Peter III was also unpopular for withdrawing from the Seven Years’ War and forming an alliance with Russia’s historic adversary, Prussia. 

The reason for Peter III’s overthrow has been the cause of much speculation. Originally, historians believed that it was the aristocracy and political leaders he alienated with his policies and partnerships that led to his demise. The theory was that they approached Catherine for her help in getting rid of him, but some historians now believe that it was Catherine who was the mastermind behind Peter III’s assassination all along. It is believed that she thought he had plans to divorce her. 

On July 28, 1762, Peter III was arrested and forced to abdicate the throne. Catherine was declared the sole ruler of Russia while he was exiled to Ropsha, just outside of the capital at the time, St. Petersburg. It was there that he was murdered by Alexei Orlov, the brother of Catherine’s lover at the time, Grigory Orlov, a military officer who is believed to have been the biological father of two of Catherine’s children. Some historians wonder whether Catherine knew Peter III would be assassinated or simply exiled.

Though Peter III would not survive an uprising against him, Catherine went on to survive more than a dozen uprisings over the next 34 years as the longest-ruling empress in Russian history. It turns out you could never know that your partner is secretly plotting to overthrow you and get that crown.

Catherine the Great is available on Sky Atlantic & Now TV

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

The Good Liar Is The Perfect Cap To Summer Of Scam

Crested Butte Film Festival's Female Filmmakers

10 Actresses On The Beauty (& Reality) Of Getting

After a whirlwind romance, Jennifer Lawrence married art gallerist Cooke Maroney on Saturday. The two tied the knot in front of 150 guests at the Rhode Island mansion Belcourt of Newport. The estate, which houses a gorgeous ballroom, is currently home to Alex & Ani CEO Carolyn Rafaelian (and possibly some ghosts, too — ’tis the spooky season).

Lawrence wore a Dior gown, according to People. “I haven’t been neurotic about [the wedding],” she said back in June on the podcast Naked With Catt Sadler. “I, like, saw a dress I liked. I said, ‘Oh. That’s the dress.’” It isn’t too shocking that Lawrence went for Dior, though — she has been the face of the brand since 2012.

Though Us previously reported that Lawrence did not want an over-the-top, large party, her guest list featured countless famous friends, including Amy Schumer, Emma Stone, Adele, and Kris Jenner. Attendees arrived on Friday to celebrate the couple at a clambake rehearsal dinner on the private Rose Island. 

Guests dined on wood-roasted fish with herbs, aged beef with forager’s sauce, cauldron fritters with bourbon cream, and homemade s’mores, according to TMZ.

Lawrence and Maroney were first spotted together in 2018. Though Lawrence kept their relationship on the DL, she opened up several times about her decision to marry him after the couple got engaged earlier this year. 

“We wanted to commit fully. I want to legally bind him to me forever. And fortunately, the paperwork exists for such a thing,” she told Sadler. “It’s the greatest. You find your favourite person on the planet, and you’re like, ‘You can’t leave!’”

Lawrence and Maroney live together in New York. Maroney works as the director of the high-profile Gladstone Gallery, and Lawrence, of course, is as busy as ever with upcoming roles in a Paolo Sorrentino film and an Elizabeth Holmes-inspired drama.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

The A-List Crowd At Jennifer Lawerence's Wedding

Jennifer Lawrence's Bride-To-Be Beauty Is Perfect

Jennifer Lawrence’s Wedding Is Happening Soon

Ever since my first job at MTV working as a music programmer, I can’t stop trying to match people with music they might like. So, I wrote a book called Record Collecting for Girls and started interviewing musicians. The Music Concierge is a column where I share music I’m listening to that you might enjoy, with a little context. Get everything I’ve recommended this year on Spotify, follow me on Twitter or Facebook, and leave a comment below telling me what you’re listening to this week.

Jenny Owen Youngs “Gravitron”

Jenny Owen Youngs has a new EP coming on November 15, and this track from it just shot to the top of my autumn music playlist. It feels a great track to listen to while having a hot apple cider on an evening of stargazing in your cosiest beanie. Youngs’ voice is wistful and quiet, the perfect pairing for a chill evening.

Yuna feat. Tyler, the Creator “Castaway”

Malaysian pop singer Yuna is worth obsessing over. This track with Tyler, the Creator, has a touch of traditional Malaysian folk music, with its percussion-focused sound, blended with some Bollywood sounds. But it also has a melody that, once it washes over you, feels like the softest brush against your soul. Let’s get lost.

Skott “Midas”

Thanks Sweden, you’ve done it again: now I’m fixated on another pop song by yet another genius songwriter from the country that makes way too much catchy music. Skott’s “Midas” is a stripped-down take on longing and romance, with just the right touch of historical references to make a nerd like myself appreciate it.

Laumė “Spells (Oedipusi)”

This track from Laumé may not be for everyone, but it’s certainly for me. It’s the new project from New Zealand-born songwriter Kim Pflaum, the former frontwoman and co-founder of Yumi Zouma. It’s taking me back to bloghouse tracks from the 2010s, in the best way. I’m hearing shades of Caribu, Washed Out, and Hot Chip and I like them all. I am under the spell.

Grace Carter “Fired Up”

Grace Carter has been everyone’s favourite this year and, with “Fired Up,” she should be on your radar, too. It’s about her first time falling in love and just listening to people sharing stories like that makes me happy. The light, almost tropical beat, of this song keeps it romantic while her voice brings all the sincerity you could want.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Kanye West Shares Jesus Is King

Rapper Konan On The Black Women He Admires

Three years after my dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, his body finally succumbed to the illness and it became clear that he was going to die very soon. I didn’t have children, and I wasn’t sure I was ready for children. But there was nothing sweeter than seeing him interact with kids, and when I realised that I’d never get to tell him when I one day became pregnant — would never get to see that specific joy on his round, expressive face — I threw away my half-finished birth control pack and bought a bottle of prenatal vitamins. One morning, four days before he died, I sat next to him on his bed as he prepared to swallow the panoply of pills that were managing his nausea, edema, and pain, and said to him, “Look, Dad. I’m taking my pills too. We can do it together.” I showed him the clearly labeled NatureMade bottle and slipped a folic acid tablet into my mouth, watching as it dawned on him what I meant. He was too weak to speak very loudly at that point, but he turned his face toward the ceiling, his eyes glossy with tears, and he managed to whisper, “I wish you so much good. I wish you so much good.”

His death unmoored me. In the months that followed, my mind felt like the home of a hoarder, bursting with disorganised, toxic thoughts, and regrets—Had I spent enough time with him since his diagnosis? Did he understand how much I loved him? Did he feel at peace when he died? Was he in pain? For weeks, my eyes were rubbed so raw from crying that it looked like I’d been hit in the face. The only things that felt good were lying in beds and baths, eating nothing but sugar, and going on long bike rides, pumping my fury out through the pedals. 

A month after he died I turned 35, marking the first year of my life I’d spend without him. I was also, suddenly, the same age my mom had been when she’d gotten pregnant with my little sister, her third child. 

My husband and I had started to talk about having children at that point, but now my grief complicated the decision. As my siblings, mom, extended family and I mourned, it felt more important than ever to add kids to the family. I told myself that while, yes, my dad was gone, if I were to have four children that were each made up of 25% his DNA, then I’d be recreating a whole him, adding back to the world that which had been subtracted. At the same time, I couldn’t imagine a day when I’d regain the energy and optimism required to bring a new human into the world.

The emotional impact of my dad’s death left me in no physical state to manage a pregnancy either. The loss tugged persistently at a corner of my brain and panic flooded me with cortisol every time I realised it was real. In my depressed state, my appetite was too scarce. I shivered constantly, as if all the blood from my extremities had gone to fuelling my overworked brain and heart. I either slept too little or couldn’t find a reason to get out of bed. My body was too turbulent a home for a baby, and I knew the addition of mercurial hormones and morning sickness would be more than I could handle. My biggest fear was feeling trapped by my pregnancy; that when I found myself seized by dreadful surges of anxiety, I’d be unable to soothe them with medication or vigorous exercise without harming the fetus. 

But now I was as close to my 40s as my 20s, and I was acutely aware that 35 is a line often drawn when it comes to having kids, after which a woman’s fertility may begin to decline. That gnawed at me. I didn’t want to risk having a pregnancy I couldn’t emotionally or physically handle. I didn’t want to bank on waiting until I got healthier — in my state, the depression felt endless — and potentially miss the window before my fertility started to drop. I wanted to pause time, giving my mind the time to heal while my body remained young and fertile. 

Although the science is still relatively new, I had friends who froze their eggs for various reasons. A friend who had the BRCA gene, a marker for cancer, wanted to freeze her eggs so that they could be screened. Others had done so after unsuccessful attempts at conceiving naturally, while still others were single women in their 30s who wanted to increase the chance they’d be able to have kids. They had positive experiences, and it seemed like my best option. I would freeze my eggs and press pause on pregnancy until I felt ready.

I’m lucky to work in media, where editors are gifted everything from extravagant vacations to botox injections. Extend Fertility a New York City clinic that specialises in egg freezing at a price that’s 40% below the national average, offered me a complimentary round of egg freezing. (Had I paid myself, it would have cost $6,500.) The service includes a fertility assessment, training in how to administer injections, regular monitoring, easy access to nurses and doctors, and the actual egg extraction procedure. I paid for the storage of the eggs ($425 a year) and the medications needed to stimulate my ovaries, which cost around $3,000 (my health insurance covered a portion). 

I was anxious but eager to begin the process — I knew that it could be an emotionally and physically taxing experience, but I was also looking forward to the relief I imagined I’d feel afterwards. The egg freezing process begins on the second day of your period, so I made an orientation appointment at Extend’s clinic in midtown Manhattan for the week before I was due to begin my cycle. When I arrived, I met my patient coordinator, Jordana, and a nurse drew blood to assess my anti-mullerian hormone level (AMH), which is an indicator of what they call ovarian reserve (or how many total eggs you have). Dr. Bat-Sheva Maslow, a physician around my age, performed a trans-vaginal ultrasound to assess the number of egg follicles I had (which indicates how many eggs you can expect to be retrieved in a given extraction). I sat down with her afterwards, and she candidly told me about the process: what to expect, the numbers that indicated where I sat on the fertility spectrum, and how many eggs we could hope to retrieve.

My AMH level was 2.11, which is average for my age, and my follicle count was 16, which is in the 50th percentile for a 20 year old. I felt a surprising amount of pride for this last number—I wanted to announce to the world  that, yes, I am 35, but I have the follicle count more typical of someone 15 years younger. My self worth suddenly felt tightly tied to my fertility. Most of all, I was relieved — I’d been afraid I’d learn that my system wasn’t working properly, ruling out the chance of a natural pregnancy or making the egg freezing process more strenuous. 

Dr. Maslow told me that egg freezing is by no means foolproof, and there’s a misconception that if you retrieve, say, 20 eggs, then you’ll be able to have 20 babies. In reality, only some of those eggs will be mature enough or healthy enough to use, and even fewer will successfully be turned into embryos. And, only a portion of those embryos will be genetically sound. For a good chance at having one live birth, she said I should freeze at least 10 eggs. 

Even with those risks, I wanted to proceed. I knew with certainty that I couldn’t have a child at this moment in my life, and that fact was further contributing to my anxiety. If I could freeze my eggs, maybe I’d have more time. Essentially, I was buying my own peace of mind.

After speaking with Dr. Maslow, I met with a nurse named Valerie who carefully walked me through the next steps in the process. I learned that I’d have to administer hormone shots to myself for eight to 12 days to get my egg follicles to produce multiple eggs, instead of just a single egg as is typical during ovulation. When the follicles grew to sufficient size, I would administer a shot of Lupron, which triggers ovulation, 36 hours before my scheduled egg retrieval procedure. My hormone regimen required that I give myself shots of Menopur and Follistim, which stimulate egg follicle growth, for the first few nights of the course, and then add Cetrotide, which prevents ovulation, from day four. Valerie showed me how to administer the injections, somewhat assuaging my fear of needles.

On the first night, I was nervous to give myself the shots. I called a friend who had done IVF so that she could advise me on how to pierce a needle through my own belly in the least painful way possible. I’ve fainted when getting my blood drawn before, and I worried that these needles would bring on the same reaction. As I penetrated my skin with the spear and plunged the fluid into my stomach, my vision got splotchy. I was nauseated and clammy, and I sat down on the floor until the dizziness let up. Then I cried, for my body, for the pregnancy I’d hoped to be ready for by now, for my dad, and for my future kids who would never know their grandfather. 

I became accustomed to giving myself the shots shockingly quickly. By night three I didn’t have to watch the instructional videos, and my dizziness subsided as my confidence increased. I was proud of myself. I felt like I was toughening up with each shot, learning the level of stress my body and brain could withstand. 

But as the hormones built up in my body each day, I felt more crampy, foggy, lightheaded, and sick to my stomach. My belly spotted with tender bruises and itchy red patches where the needles had gone in. My breasts felt as heavy as bricks, and I showered with a bikini top on because leaving them unsupported was too painful. By day six I felt full, like I couldn’t possibly fit any more medicine into my body. I went to the Extend clinic for monitoring every couple of days, where, with remarkable efficiency, the sweet nurses tested the hormone levels in my blood and the doctor on duty tracked the development of my follicles, assessing when I’d be ready for extraction. 

Blessedly, by day eight I was ready to proceed with the egg extraction. By then, my abdomen felt heavy but fragile, like a sudden movement could jolt something loose. (And it could — you can’t exercise during the process due to risk of something called “ovarian torsion.”) 

Exactly 36 hours after my final injection, I was lying on an examination table waiting for the twilight anesthesia to kick in so that Dr. Maslow could enter my ovaries with a long needle to extract all the eggs that had developed. I woke up just 30 minutes later feeling drowsy and crampy. The doctor came to check on me and notified me that they’d been able to retrieve 16 eggs, the maximum that we’d hoped for. Later, I learned that 15 of them were mature enough to freeze. She called it a “textbook perfect cycle.”  

When my head cleared from the anesthesia, I experienced a distinct sense of calm unlike I’d felt in a long time. Maybe I’d get pregnant naturally when the time was right. Maybe I’d have trouble doing so, and would be glad to have a safety net. Maybe I’d try to use those eggs and, for one reason or another, it wouldn’t work. Whatever the outcome, I was relieved to feel that, rather than allowing anxiety about my fertility hamper my ability to heal from my father’s death, I’d taken some measure of control over my reproductive destiny. Ironically, that relief actually brought me a little closer to feeling ready to one day have that little kid who is one quarter my dad. That night, I slept better than I had in weeks.

FIND MORE FERTILITY SPECTRUM STORIES HERE

<!--

Why I Froze My Eggs After My Dad Died

by Julie Alvin

-->

How Much Would You Spend To Have A Baby?

by Erika W. Smith

Going Solo: Five Single Moms Talk Divorce, IVF, And Being The Breadwinner

by Molly Longman

I’m 31, Have Unexplained Infertility, And IVF Only Cost Me $300. This Is My Fertility Diary

by You/h3>

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

From sheet masks to shampoo bottles, the beauty industry accounts for a huge amount of plastic pollution. Zero Waste Week recently reported that the global cosmetics industry produces a staggering 120 billion units of packaging every year, and much of this isn’t recyclable. But we aren’t brushing the facts under the carpet.

According to Flawless.org, as many as 63% of consumers feel guilty for not using eco-friendly cosmetics. Brands like Hourglass have recently got on board with refill schemes in a bid to reduce waste, while Lush has introduced numerous packaging-free products, but an online hub dedicated to shopping different brands with environmental responsibility and sustainability at the forefront has evaded beauty obsessives. Until now. Enter: SUSTbeauty.

The brand new beauty website, which brings together skincare, haircare, body care and makeup, was launched by former beauty buyer, Zahra Broadfield. Her aim is to bring about positive change in an industry that so many people love, but is often incredibly excessive. “Beauty is a category that is responsible for so much waste, from plastic packaging to damaging chemicals,” she told R29. “I couldn’t find a retailer really leading the conversation around responsible beauty in a way that felt satisfactory to me as a consumer, so I launched one.”

SUST boasts Instagrammable brands such as Neighbourhood Botanicals, Evolve and MONTAMONTA, which uses repurposed coffee grounds so that they don’t go to waste. Products mirror the prices of the high street and mid luxury brands you might shop at Cult Beauty, Boots or Lookfantastic, for example, dispelling the myth that sustainable beauty will cost you the earth.

What sets the website apart from the aforementioned online beauty retailers, which also offer a range of sustainable, eco-friendly and cruelty-free products? “SUST is really an expression of beauty without compromise and with an appreciation for high standards of efficacy and responsibility that I believe should be the norm,” added Zahra. “It’s about introducing consumers to a comprehensive edit of products that they can be assured look, feel and do good in equal measure.”

The selection and approval process is also pretty unique. “I personally test every product that we sell on the site for smell, texture, efficacy and examining the experience or how it makes me feel,” said Zahra. “That’s what I’d expect every retailer to be doing. At SUST, we then work with the brand to understand their ethos, how they source their ingredients and what ingredients they include, what packaging they use, as well as if and how they carbon offset their production process and deliveries. It’s about how, where and why that product fits with our personal values.”

Of course, Zahra doesn’t expect you to throw out your existing products and start again (that would be wasteful, too), but she says that the site is a good place to start. “It’s clear, honest, fun and even a bit indulgent; all the things we love about beauty,” and it’s only set to get bigger and better. “I feel there are definitely some categories missing in the current lineup,” said Zahra. “Sun care, lip colours and acids to name a few. But picking the right brands is a careful process and we need to make sure we get it right at every stage to adhere to the SUST ethos.”

So out of everything currently on site, what does Zahra recommend? “I’m a bit obsessed with the Ere Perez Oatmilk Foundation, £32,” she told R29. “The coverage is just perfect for me and gives a really glowing but not greasy finish. I get dry skin, especially in cold weather, so at the moment I’m using Evolve’s Hyaluronic Serum, £30, with the Wilder Botanics Night Oil, £45.”

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

18 Plastic-Free Beauty Products To Love (Promise)

The 5 Best Reusable Razors To Buy Now

The Best Beauty Brands Using Sustainable Packaging

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Uniqlo x JW Anderson Is Autumnal Perfection

These Gym Bags Are As Stylish As You Are

Alison Mosshart's Rock & Roll Collab Is Here

It took me one month to tell my then girlfriend, now wife, that I love her. I’d been out and dating for two years by the time we got together but it was the first time I’d said it, or felt it, for anyone. While it was as true then as it is now, over six years later, the speed with which I aired my feelings has become a running joke. Set-up: “Why did I say ‘I love you’ so fast?” Punchline: “Because I’m a lesbian.”

The stereotype that women in same-sex relationships commit at the speed of light is one of the most pervasive, alongside a reluctance to shave and a shared longing for Leonardo DiCaprio’s hair in Romeo + Juliet. It’s known as ‘U-Haul syndrome’ or the brilliantly named ‘urge to merge’. It was established in the 1990s in a joke attributed to Lea DeLaria, and rests on the idea that women who love women move in with each other by the second date, forgoing a long, more cautious period of dating. This is something I can anecdotally vouch for, but it’s a much bigger question if it’s actually true.

While the phrase came to pass in the ’90s, an article by Shauna Miller for The Atlantic in 2013 describes how the popular stereotype has roots much earlier in the 20th century – based on safety. In the 1950s and 1960s, she notes, same-sex female couples who were forced to “remain in the shadows” often moved in for practical reasons. Living together made it easier to be a couple without others questioning the relationship. 

But what does it mean now? In 2019, theoretically at least, we have freedom of expression and the questions surrounding living together are like those of our cis straight counterparts – questions of convenience and shared rent rather than safety per se (though that’s not always true, especially for younger queer women who may not be safe at home).

There is even research to disprove the idea entirely. According to an American study done by Stanford University in 2018, lesbian couples did not shack up any faster than heterosexual pairs. They surveyed 3,000 couples (including 220 female couples) and came to the conclusion that “contrary to popular conceptions of lesbians as eager to commit, our results indicate that after controlling for couple age there are no significant differences in relative rates of cohabitation among couple types.” However, almost everyone I spoke to said that, at least anecdotally, the stereotype holds up.

“I think there’s definitely truth in it!” says Rosie, a 26-year-old lesbian. “Even if not officially moved in with a partner, I have experienced the urge to spend every waking hour with someone I feel strongly about.”

Lu, a 25-year-old queer woman, agrees, telling me: “I LOVE joking about the stereotype of lesbians and queer women buying a house together on their second date, especially with one friend who decided to go away with her girlfriend for a week on her second date.” However she doesn’t think it’s necessarily exclusive to women dating women or non-binary people. “I know a hell of a lotta heteros who have done the same thing, and I also know a lot of queer women who have run a mile at commitment and broken a lotta hearts along the way.” 

The reasons are a bit trickier to pin down. There are several theories. According to an article by Bustle, it can be rooted in the combined forces of heterosexism and internalised lesphobia. Dr Lauren Costine says: “We live in a society that tells all women being in a relationship is one of the, if not the most important life goal. Combine those two factors with low self-esteem caused by internalised lesbianphobia, and you’ve got the U-Haul recipe.” Another theory is that two women will automatically produce double the amount of oxytocin – referred to colloquially as the ‘love hormone’ – allegedly encouraging us to attach far quicker. These claims are dubious at best, not least because they rely on a cis-centric view of relationships but also because claims about oxytocin, more broadly, come from studies done on voles, not humans, and have been used to further pro-life, abstinence-based conservative views.

It’s worth mentioning here that not everyone agrees with U-Hauling. Ruby, a 23-year-old lesbian, tells me that it took her over a year to move in with her current girlfriend and though it’s true for some people, “most of the lesbians I know aren’t like that”. It’s not a universal experience by any means, but when it does happen, it seems to come from a combination of isolation and emotional openness. Aless, a 21-year-old lesbian, tells me: “The closet is isolating, not being able to relate to friends is isolating, not being able to relate to the majority of the world around you is isolating. When you meet someone who understands and who loves you back, the relief and euphoria of that can make you throw caution to the wind.”

That emotional openness can result in hasty decisions but it can also be positive. Lu theorises that, for her at least, “the quick commitment comes from the openness and emotional maturity of the women I’ve been with. Women generally are more socialised to actually feel and be open with their emotions, so when that beautiful honeymoon phase happens they’re happy to run with it rather than freak out about closeness and commitment meaning they could get hurt. Or if they do freak out, maybe they’re more likely to have an honest conversation about it.”

This also seems to be true for the bisexual women I spoke to. Miriam, 25, tells me: “In my relationships with women and non-binary people things have moved much, much faster… I don’t think I’ve ever been in a relationship with a non-man where it’s taken more than a month to say ‘I love you’ (usually less with women I’ve dated) but in my last relationship, which was with a cis straight man, we were together for nearly a year and he point-blank refused to say it… I think that evasion of commitment is pretty normal for men, particularly heterosexual men. My current partner is bisexual as well and actually with him it has been different, and I do think his sexuality is part of that.”

Critics suggest that the urge to merge is based on a desire to avoid the difficulties of dating. But it seems to be more endemic of how isolated queer women can be during puberty, unable to date who they want to or even understand why they want to date them. Finding your community, people like you and people who love the way you love can be an incredible, overwhelming thing after years of feeling isolated, and finding That Person can feel like the world is shifting into focus for the first time.

But for the relationship to really have legs, you probably need to meet in the middle. It’s always worth being cautious and asking yourself, as Ruby says: “Do I want to grow with this person? Or do I just want to be with them because they’re the only lesbian I’ve met/dated in three years?” But that shouldn’t mean you shy away from something for fear of being a stereotype. As norms about dating, monogamy and LGBTQ+ representation mean more acceptance of queer love and relationships from an earlier age, perhaps the U-Haul may one day drive off into the distance. Or perhaps not. There will probably always be those like Noora, a 26-year-old lesbian who put it this way: “Taking big steps does not scare me and never has. I have never felt trapped in a relationship. I know that if I want out, I can get out. I await the U-Haul with open arms.”

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

The Myth Of Butch Privilege

You Need To Try Audio Porn Now. You're Welcome

How Two Best Friends Fell In Love At 50

At some point in their lives, before the age of 45, one in three women will have an abortion. Just like pregnancy itself, the need to terminate one is a fact of life. More than this, being able to access safe, free and legal abortion services should you need to is acknowledged to be a basic human right for women and pregnant people. 

Since 1967, abortion has been legal in England, Scotland and Wales because of the Abortion Act, a victory that was hard-fought and won by campaigners. For those of us who have grown up in Britain since, access to abortion is something we have (for the most part) been able to take for granted. 

However, if the last few years in Western politics have taught us anything, it’s that you can never take progress for granted. In the US, abortion rights have been under attack since Trump’s presidency began. We’ve marched against this in Britain, wearing pink pussy hats. We’ve shared memes about Alabama, expressing outrage at the imposition of draconian laws on women by men. 

So why have we failed to apply the same scrutiny to things at home? Anti-abortion protests outside our abortion clinics are increasing, with women and clinic staff being forced to face gauntlets of protestors holding vigils, praying and holding placards bearing graphic photos of foetuses in order to make appointments. 

Perhaps because abortion is legal here, we’ve been lulled into a false sense of security. We’ve rarely had cause to question that legislation, to ask whether it could be better, whether a law from the late ’60s is still catering to the needs of women today? After all, unless you live in Northern Ireland, the chances are that if you’ve ever wanted or needed an abortion, you’ve been able to get it.

But once you start asking questions you’ll find that the 1967 Act isn’t quite doing the job it could or should. When it passed through parliament just over 50 years ago, concessions were made. More than this, the 1967 Act is actually underpinned by a far older piece of legislation: the 1861 Offences Against The Person Act. Because of it, abortion is still technically a criminal offence, which means it is treated as a legal matter and not a health issue in the eyes of the law. 

Hadn’t heard about this Victorian law before? Don’t worry, you’re not alone. We surveyed over 1,000 Refinery29 readers from across the UK about abortion. 

Ninety percent didn’t think that abortion was a criminal offence in England and Wales and 71% had never heard of the 1861 Offences Against The Person Act. 

The 1967 Abortion Act legalised abortion under certain conditions but it did not overturn the 1861 Act, specifically sections 58 and 59, which mean that abortion is still – technically – a criminal offence. The 1861 Act reads:

“Every woman, being with child, who, with intent to procure her own miscarriage, shall unlawfully administer to herself any poison… or unlawfully use any instrument… shall be liable … to be kept in penal servitude for life.”

The fact that the 1967 Act is underpinned by this law means that abortion is only lawful if two doctors agree that continuing with a pregnancy would affect a woman’s mental or physical health. 

This puts a strain on services and can cause delays to waiting times. It is also why there are restrictions as to where abortions can happen. 

In theory, as things stand, any woman who ends her own pregnancy in Britain could be prosecuted under laws which were created long before women were even given the vote. If a woman were to buy abortion pills online because, for whatever reason, she didn’t or couldn’t get to see a medical professional, she would be committing a criminal act which is punishable by life imprisonment. 

It’s time to ask whether this is really appropriate. 

Eighty-four percent of Refinery29 readers said they think that there is still a stigma attached to having an abortion in the UK. More than this, 63% said they think that abortion services in England and Wales could be easier to access and 56% said that they think women have to travel too far to access abortion services. When it comes to anti-abortion protestors, 56% said they think they’re affecting women’s access to clinics. 

Anyone worth listening to on this issue – the British Pregnancy Advisory Service, Marie Stopes and the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists – agrees that the law needs to be updated. That’s why we at Refinery29 are campaigning for the complete decriminalisation of abortion across the UK. 

The inner machinations of politics are often opaque and legislation is complex. Understanding knotty policy processes is complex but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try. When we do, we can better see how things work, how they could be better. Abortion is a medical and not a criminal issue, it’s time the legislation reflected that. 

So please sign our petition and help us change the law to fix abortion provision once and for all.

Richard Bentley, Managing Director for Marie Stopes UK said:

“Abortion care needs to be taken out of criminal law in the UK. No other healthcare provision sits within criminal law in this way, and there is no reason why consensual women’s healthcare should have any criminal sanction.

“One in three women in the UK will have an abortion in her lifetime. But despite being the most common medical procedure in the UK, the current law continues to stigmatise and criminalise both the women requesting abortions and the healthcare professionals that provide them.”

Professor Lesley Regan, President of the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists, said:

“I am pleased that the Council of our College has voted in support of removing criminal sanctions associated with abortion. Having a formal position on decriminalisation will enable the College to usefully contribute to the debate surrounding what a post decriminalisation landscape might look like.

“I want to be clear that decriminalisation does not mean deregulation and abortion services should be subject to regulatory and professional standards, in line with other medical procedures. I strongly believe that the College has a responsibility to protect women’s health by ensuring access to this key healthcare service.”

Rachael Clarke, Public Affairs and Advocacy Manager at the British Pregnancy Advisory Service said:

“In 2019, it should be clear that abortion is a healthcare matter, not a criminal one. However, thanks to an 1861 law, the UK is currently host to one of the harshest criminal regimes for abortion in the world, threatening life in prison for any woman who ends her own pregnancy without legal authorisation. 

“This means that there are restrictions placed not only on women but how healthcare professionals can provide care. The law from 1861 means that women can’t go to their GP for an abortion, can’t have a home visit from a qualified nurse or doctor if they’re unable to leave the house, and if they buy pills online they’re risking a life sentence. This is what decriminalisation would mean.

“Decriminalisation does not mean deregulation, it means abortion would be subject to the same stringent and comprehensive healthcare laws that govern all other women’s healthcare procedures, with appropriate safeguarding protocols, counselling, clinical safety standards and the need for informed consent. It would make sure that abortion care is finally treated as the healthcare it is.”

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Boris Johnson's History Of Trump-like Behavior

How Our Government Betrays Women Seeking Abortions

The Women Who Stay With Problematic Men

On 21st October 1879, Thomas Edison invented the lightbulb. And as of 21st October 2019, a very different light will finally be shed on Northern Ireland. An archaic piece of legislation, the 1861 Offences Against the Person Act, which predates Mr Edison’s most crucial of inventions, will no longer be used to deny women in this part of the UK access to abortion services, or to threaten them and anyone assisting them in having a termination with life imprisonment.

In 2013, at the age of 41 and living in Belfast, I discovered I was pregnant. After careful consideration of every aspect of my life – my relationship, my previous relationships, my family, my finances, my health, my job and my personhood – I came to the decision that I needed an abortion. 

I say ‘need’ because that’s how it was. I didn’t want an abortion. I needed an abortion. I live in Northern Ireland and so set about the isolating and difficult task of ending the pregnancy. I have always been pro choice but until that time, I had no idea of the multitude of barriers that women in Northern Ireland face when trying to exercise what should be their fundamental right to bodily autonomy. I considered ways to access an abortion myself, but with the overbearing stigma coupled with the fear of prosecution (women have been prosecuted for ordering abortion pills online), I decided that travelling to England was my only option. 

Weeks after navigating an almost underground system with invaluable help from the Family Planning Association (which unfortunately no longer exists), I eventually travelled to Manchester for a termination. The procedure itself was straightforward and the care I received from the staff was friendly and professional.

I have never regretted my abortion for a single minute, not one. What I do regret is the fact that I was forced to travel in secrecy and shame, made to feel like a thing, not a person. A thing that was better kept out of the way and invisible. I felt guilty about the fact that I had an abortion in relatively good circumstances and reflected endlessly on the women who didn’t have a credit card to meet the costs, who didn’t have such a supportive partner and who couldn’t make the trip as I did, for all sorts of reasons. 

That’s why I became involved in abortion rights and Alliance for Choice. I took courage from the women who began to tell their own stories and took heart from the activists who had been campaigning for abortion rights for so very long. I began to tell my own story, anonymously at first, but now without hesitation because I realised that it’s okay to have an abortion! After all, one in three of us will at some point in our lives.

This is a historic moment but it is hard to believe that women and pregnant people’s bodies in Northern Ireland have been so heavily regulated by such an outdated bit of legislation. The law that governs the UK in respect of abortion, the Abortion Act 1967, was never extended to Northern Ireland and, after years of campaigning, we finally find ourselves in the position of having abortion decriminalised in Northern Ireland because of an amendment tabled by Labour MP Stella Creasy in Westminster. 

That position is rather strange, though. Northern Ireland’s abortion law and provisions could actually now be more progressive than the rest of the UK. The 1967 Act never applied here so, in one move, we will get the legalisation and decriminalisation of abortion, while in England and Wales the 1861 Act will technically still apply.

The ‘67 Act is often hailed as a groundbreaking piece of legislation and for its time, it most certainly was. It gave doctors permission to perform abortions lawfully, so long as certain conditions were met. These include the legal requirement to have two doctors sign off before a procedure can go ahead and the fact that an abortion can only take place in hospitals or settings specifically licensed by the Secretary of State for Health.

Yet the ’67 Act actually keeps women and healthcare professionals at risk of prosecution because it did not repeal or replace sections 58 and 59 of the Offences Against the Person Act.

What the 1967 Act failed to do was render abortion a healthcare and not a criminal matter in the UK. As a result, abortion has never been decriminalised. While abortion providers operate legally, for women and pregnant people, abortion still inhabits an ambiguous space. It remains within the framework of criminality and until it is regarded as a healthcare matter once and for all, those seeking abortion will be forced to carry that stigma. 

I was discussing abortion recently with someone who describes themselves as being on “a pro choice journey”. When I mentioned that I had met a fellow campaigner who was a gynaecologist and abortion surgeon, they looked incredulous and asked: “What do you mean, a surgeon?” It really struck me at that moment that abortion is far from being understood as the safe medical procedure that it is, carried out every day by trained and qualified healthcare professionals.

With so much anti-choice rhetoric filling the airwaves, attempting to traumatise women into making a choice other than their own, and with protests outside clinics on the rise, we must make it absolutely clear that abortion is not a crime; it is healthcare. 

Historically, if we look back over the things that were once considered ‘criminal’, we draw a sharp intake of breath: women having the vote was criminal; same sex relationships were criminal.

While stigma continues to surround these issues, manifesting as sexism and homophobia, they have all been decriminalised and it is to society’s shame that they were ever ‘crimes’ in the first place. If we are to learn anything from history, let’s start with decriminalising bodily autonomy. Then, at least, we can start to unpick the layers of stigma that prevail when it comes to abortion rights and reproductive justice.

21st October 2019 will see abortion finally decriminalised in Northern Ireland and the legislation will no longer regard women and pregnant people who need abortion services as criminals in the first instance.

As abortion rights campaigners, we recognise that the struggle is far from over and there is still some way to go on abortion provision and destigmatisation for all. If Westminster can pass an amendment that is fit for Northern Ireland, it can introduce legislation in the rest of the UK that finally decriminalises abortion in statute and concept.

To those who would have the status quo prevail, I have this to say: I am unbroken. I am unbowed. I am not your sinner. I am not your criminal. I am not ashamed and I don’t want anyone else to be.

Please sign our petition and help us change the law to fix abortion provision once and for all.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

How Our Government Betrays Women Seeking Abortions

Boris Is Sending The Wrong Message To Women

Why We Should Care About Brexit & The Irish Border

Miley Cyrus is taking some serious heat for controversial statements she made about identifying as LGBTQ+ this weekend. 

In an Instagram Live video posted on Sunday, she complimented her new romantic interest Cody Simpson, while simultaneously angering social media users over her LGBTQ+ comments and throwing shade at Liam Hemsworth, her estranged husband who reportedly filed for divorce in August.

“There are good men out there, guys, don’t give up,” the 26-year-old artist says in the video of Simpson. “You don’t have to be gay, there are good people with dicks out there, you’ve just got to find them. You’ve got to find a dick that’s not a dick, you know? I always thought I had to be gay, because I thought all guys were evil, but it’s not true. There are good people out there that just happen to have dicks.” 

A representative for Cyrus hasn’t responded to Refinery29′s request for comment, but Cyrus responded to the backlash she got about the video on Twitter Monday afternoon. “I was talking shit about sucky guys, but let me be clear, YOU don’t CHOOSE your sexuality,” she wrote. “You are born as you are. IT has always been my priority to protect the LGBTQ community I am a part of.

Cyrus founded the nonprofit, the Happy Hippie Foundation, which secures and provides resources to LGBTQ  youth, homeless young people, and other vulnerable communities. Cyrus herself came out as pansexual and genderfluid back in 2015. 

pic.twitter.com/TWwjrlvf3t

— Miley Ray Cyrus (@MileyCyrus) October 21, 2019

Many folks on Twitter and other media objected to Cyrus’s video commentary. Out Magazine’s Rose Dommu wrote: “So Cyrus is implying that women are gay because of bad people with dicks, as if it’s a conscious decision they make because ugh, men! That’s…not how sexuality works, Miley!”

Dommu continued: “That might be your experience, but that doesn’t make it universal.”

One Twitter user pointedly added: “But being gay isn’t a choice, sis?” For the record, that statement is science-backed. A wide-reaching study published this year in the journal Science found that human sexual preferences are determined by a multifaceted mix of various genes, life experiences, and environmental factors. 

But being gay isn’t a choice, sis? 😒😒😒 so good for you for choosing not to be gay… @MileyCyrus https://t.co/wIYeHRbfi6

— Luke (@lukingforwardto) October 21, 2019

Another Twitter user noted: “Women don’t ‘have to be gay’ because they ‘can’t find a good person with a d*ck.’ Don’t use the queer community as a stop-gap because you couldn’t find a boyfriend. People aren’t queer because they “gave up” on men. This is so insulting.”

Miley, this is so not it. Women don’t “have to be gay” because they “can’t find a good person with a d*ck”.
Don’t use the queer community as a stop-gap because you couldn’t find a boyfriend.
People aren’t queer because they “gave up” on men.
This is so insulting. pic.twitter.com/lAzcEjHRcB

— Rosie Percy (@rosiepercy) October 21, 2019

The tone of Cyrus’s video was a significant shift from comments she made about sexuality in a February Vanity Fair story, in which she said: “A big part of my pride and my identity is being a queer person.” She added in a later interview with Elle that this remained true for her, despite the fact she’d married a man, saying: “I’m in a hetero relationship, but I still am very sexually attracted to women.”

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Miley Cyrus Shades Liam Hemsworth

Will Miley Cyrus Show Up On The Hills?

How To Dress Up Like A Scammer For Halloween

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

11 Timeless Hairstyles For The Fall Bride

I Tried Beyoncé's Hottest Blonde Hairstyle

7 Ways To Wear Fall's Breakout Hair-Color Trend

This past weekend, Maggie Rogers’ Austin City Limits Live performance was interrupted by a disturbing outburst. “Take your top off,” a male audience member yelled. “You look cute though,” another followed. During her routine intermission before the acoustic encore of “Alaska,” a vulnerable moment where Rogers speaks about gratitude and growth, she instead left feeling shocked and violated. 

“I was stunned. Furious. Fuming. Confused. And also — on a really basic level — it really hurt my feelings,” Rogers wrote in a social media post after the show. Following the vulgar comment at her performance, Rogers used the experience to reflect on what it means to open yourself up as an artist on stage only to be met with derogatory words. “I step on stage every night and give every part of me. And my community shows up every night and together, we create a safe space to amplify each other,” she wrote.

“take your top off” pic.twitter.com/pqTmWlYIQ6

— Maggie Rogers (@maggierogers) October 20, 2019

The 25-year-old singer also warned that any future bullying or harassment at her shows would not be tolerated. “I want to use this moment to be very very clear. There is no space for harassment or disrespect or degradation of any kind at my shows,” she said.

Rogers’ stance is a harrowing reminder of the torment women in the public eye, as well as others just walking down the street, face on a regular basis. In a national study conducted earlier this year, 81% of women reported experiencing a form sexual harassment at least once in their life, with the majority describing their harassment as verbal and in public. This historic cycle of abuse is one that needs to stop, and by calling out this offensive behaviour, Rogers is creating a greater platform for change. 

Rogers first rose to fame after Pharrell Williams guest lectured her music class at New York University when she was a student. A video of his overwhelmingly warm reaction to her song “Alaska” made her a household name for many. Since, her songwriting and rise to stardom has always been dedicated to connecting with fans and talking about her music candidly.

“I know that not everybody gets to choose their fans, but every time I talk to somebody who listens to my music I always feel like we would be hanging out at the same house party,” Rogers said in an interview with Refinery29. “It feels like my music did this thing of like bringing together all like-minded people who I would want to hang out with anyway. It’s nice to talk about music, but I also just really like the people I’m talking to.”

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Maggie Rogers Didn't Plan On Becoming Famous

Kristin Chenoweth Opens Up About Sexual Harassment

The Battle To Ban Upskirting Is Finally Over

Last week, Louis Vuitton Moët Hennessy chairman and chief executive officer Bernard Arnault welcomed Donald Trump in rural Alvarado, Texas for a ribbon-cutting ceremony at Louis Vuitton’s new leather goods workshop. While Arnault praised Trump to WWD last Thursday — saying, “We are very honoured to have the president of the United States. I’m not here to judge any types of policies. I’m here to work with my brand and we are going to, over five years, have 1,000 people working here and that’s what matters” — Louis Vuitton’s artistic director of women’s collections, Nicolas Ghesquiére, is making it clear he is very anti-Trump.

On Sunday, Ghesquiére commented on the matter publicly via Instagram, writing “Standing against any political action. I am a fashion designer refusing this association.” Under a photo of the cover of the 1984 Evelyn Thomas club hit “High Energy”, the designer added the hashtags #TrumpIsAJoke and #Homophobia.

View this post on Instagram

Standing against any political action. I am a fashion designer refusing this association #trumpisajoke #homophobia

A post shared by @ nicolasghesquiere on Oct 19, 2019 at 8:33pm PDT

It’s not surprising Ghesquiére would continue to use his platform to champion inclusivity. The designer makes a point to support the LGBTQ+ community, consistently casting transgender models in his runway show. He brought on Pose star Indya Moore as the face for Louis Vuitton’s jewellery campaign.  Teddy Quinlivan has worked with Ghesquière repeatedly at LV and she shared her support on the post, writing: “Thank you for standing on the right side of history.”

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Donald Trump Welcomed Louis Vuitton To Texas

The Virgil Abloh x IKEA Collection Is Finally Here

Garance Doré Wants To Change How We Talk About Age

After a tumultuous, scandal-plagued 40-day election campaign, Justin Trudeau and the Liberals have won a minority government in Canada, taking 157 seats. Trudeau will serve as the Canadian prime minister for a second term and the Conservatives will continue to form opposition. The Canadian Liberals lost seats from 2015 (when they won a majority) and will now have to gain support from at least one party to pass any legislation and fulfil its campaign promises in the coming years.

The election night wasn’t the nail-biting, too-close-to-call race many pundits expected (some said the ballot count could go into the morning), but it was still an eventful evening that ended with the divisiveness the election became known for. Instead of waiting their turns to speak — it’s customary to for the winning candidate to go last — Trudeau, Conservative Leader Andrew Scheer, and the NDP’s Jagmeet Singh all gave their election night remarks at the same time, each offering tepid calls for unity.

Here, we break down some of the election night’s highlights.

What were the final election results?

A party needs 170 seats for a majority government, and the Liberals squeaked through to land 157 seats, with support coming from Ontario and Quebec. The Conservatives, which will form the opposition, finished with 121 seats, a resurgent Bloc Québécois took 32 seats, the NDP garnered 24, and the Green Party took a historic 3 seats. This was a close race, with the Conservatives narrowly winning the popular vote, with 34.4% to the Liberals’ 33.1%, the lowest popular vote margin in Canadian history.

What were the biggest upsets?

The Liberals were completed shut out from every riding in Saskatchewan, which went completely Conservative. In Alberta, Conservatives won 69% of the popular vote and all but one seat, which went to the NDP’s Heather McPherson.

Last night also saw the first Green Party MP victory outside of British Columbia, with a historic win for Jenica Atwin in Fredericton, New Brunswick.

Yves-François Blanchet and the Bloc Québécois took a third of the popular vote in Quebec, becoming the most unexpected story of the election. The huge win for the party shows a major shift in the province’s politics and will provide a new challenge for the Liberals.

Finally, in a shocking upset, Liberal and former Olympian Adam van Koeverden unseated long-time Conservative and Deputy PC Leader Lisa Raitt in the Milton, Ontario riding after an 11-year term.

What does a Liberal minority government mean for the NDP?

Last night, pundits on Canada’s Public Broadcaster CBC credited the NDP’s showing to the “Singh save,” or in other words, the impressive last-minute push by leader Jagmeet Singh to secure more seats than earlier projected. It still wasn’t a great showing for the NDP — in 2015, it had 44 seats and this year it dipped to 24, enough for official party status, but taking a big hit in Quebec. Since the Liberals will have to work with another party if they want to get anything done, the NDP has enough seats to be a power player.

What did Justin Trudeau say in his victory speech?

Aside from the poor etiquette of speaking at the same time as his opponents, Trudeau gave an energetic victory speech in which he proclaimed that “Canadians rejected division and negativity” in their decision to re-elect the Liberal Party. “You’re sending our Liberal team back to work in Ottawa, with a clear mandate — we will make life more affordable, we will continue to fight climate change, we will get guns off our streets, and we will keep investing in Canadians,” the prime minister said. He spoke to Quebec and the Prairies directly, acknowledging his party’s dismal showing in each region. “Regardless of how you cast your ballot, ours is a team that will fight for all Canadians,” he said.

What did Andrew Scheer say about his loss?

Scheer conceded the loss, thanking his staff, family and voters and then delivered a speech that reiterated many of the talking points of his campaign. “Not only have they lost over 20 seats, but Mr. Trudeau has also lost votes and lost support in every region of the country,” he said. “Tonight, Conservatives have put Justin Trudeau on notice, and Mr. Trudeau, when your government falls, Conservatives will be ready, and we will win.” If you were expecting a humble or gracious concession address, this wasn’t it.

Did Jane Philpott and Jody Wilson-Raybould win their ridings?

Simply put, Philpott lost and Wilson-Raybould won. The embattled former Liberal members were forced out of the caucus after the SNC-Lavalin affair and chose to run as independents. Philpott lost to Liberal Helena Jaczek in the Markham-Stouffville riding while Wilson-Raybould edged out her Liberal opponent for a win in the Vancouver Granville riding as the only independent representative in the country.

Will Maxime Bernier continue on in his riding as a climate-change denying bigot?

Nope! The leader of the People’s Party of Canada was defeated handily by Conservative candidate Richard Lehoux by more than 6,000 votes. After creating his own party and running on a platform of hate and in opposition to science, Bernier not only lost his riding, but the future of his party looks bleak. The people have spoken.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

How A Liberal Government Could Impact Your Life

Canadian Celebrities Weigh In On The Election

How Abortion Became A Hot-Button Election Issue